"INCONCEIVABLE!"

Iron Man 2

2010-05-17T23:12:00.000-05:00

Iron Man had a “super” summer in 2008. There plenty of good super hero sequels but there are just as many terrible ones. Can Iron Man 2 rock like the first or will it go the way of many other super hero sequels?

About this Movie:

Iron Man 2 takes place shortly after the ending of the first movie. Congress and the U.S. Military does not approve of Tony Stark having the only access to the Iron Man armor. The son of a former business partner of Tony’s father seeks revenge for his father being deported and dying in Russia. A competitor of Stark Enterprise wants to knock Tony off his pedestal. If that was not enough, Nick Fury and S.H.I.E.L.D has an interest in Iron Man.

What I liked about this Movie:

Robert Downey Jr. is a great Tony Stark/Iron Man. This was the role that Downey was born to play. I am sure that Downey pulls this off because he has had many of the same vices which Tony has such as excessive drinking, womanizing, and ego mania. Downey makes this movie.

I love the writing of Stark and how he handled all of his challenges. The birthday party with the armor was perfect for Tony. The scene with Tony hung over and sitting in the doughnut was perfect.

I also love all the main characters and their portrayal in this movie. Samuel L Jackson is a fantastic Nick Fury and brings Fury’s attitude right to the screen even though Fury is a white guy in the comics. Don Cheadle does a good job as Rhodey/War Machine. Scarlett Johansson was not only sizzling as the Black Widow but brought Natasha’s character alive on the screen. Gwenyth continued to be great as Peppers. Mickey Rourke was great bad guy in Whiplash. The cast was great.

This was a fun superhero action movie. There is a ton of action and fun. The ending fight with Iron Man and War Machine taking on all the robots was a blast to watch.

What I did not Like:

There was not much I did not like about this movie. They replaced some of the more intelligent writing and plot of the first movie with more action and special effects. Don’t get me wrong, this movie was well written but did not meet the bar of the first one.

My Review:

Iron Man 2 was a solid sequel. It was fun and lots of action. It does fall into the standard issue with action movie sequel- need more action and explosions than the first movie. The writing was not as strong but it was not bad.

If you liked the first Iron Man, then I fully recommend seeing this movie.

My Grade: B+

Other Reviews

IMDB : 7.5 out of 10

Rotten Tomatoes: Critics Review: 74%-- Fresh- 6.5 out of 10

Rotten Tomatoes: Community Review: 88%-- Fresh- 7.6 out of 10

Roger Ebert: 3 out of 4 stars

E!: A-

Movie Review: Transformers II: Revenge of the Fallen

2009-07-03T11:25:00.003-05:00

The 2007 movie Transformers was a huge surprise. I expected the first Transformers to be lame. Instead it was a great action movie with a decent plot and character development. I was extremely hopeful that Transformers II: Revenge of the Fallen would be as good as the first one.

About this Movie:

Transformers II takes place a year after the first movie. Sam is heading off to college. Optimus Prime has formed an alliance with the American Army to hunt down Decepticons. The Decepticons have a plan to bring back the “Fallen”, the original Decepticon, and Sam holds the key.

What I liked about this Movie:

I love fighting robots especially ones which can transform. I have always loved the concept of Transformers. Watching them on the big screen is still a lot of fun. This move is packed with action and fighting scenes. It is truly a popcorn movie that you can lose yourself in.

Megan Fox is almost reason enough to watch this movie. Megan is drop dead gorgeous and I would watch her knit for three hours.

What I did not Like:

The plot was microscopic thin in this movie. The first movie was well written and had a decent plot. Often sequels miss the importance of the plot of the original movie, that made it a great summer movie. This movie clearly missed the point.

The college scene was out of place. This is a movie that young boys want to see because transforming robots are cool. The focus on the college party scene did not really fit in. Even though the scenes with Sam’s mother being high from eating the pot brownies is very funny, it was not in good taste nor friendly for the young ones. The tasteless jokes reminded me of a Porkys or an American Pie movie.

I don’t remember any Transformers that could change into human forms. I sure do not remember any that can change into hot college babes that become Species like Terminators. I was confused which movie I was watching.

I really did not understand the oldest Transformer on Earth. Firstly, he can transform into a stealth bomber and he is an ancient Transformer? I guess you can argue that Bumblebee demonstrated that they can scan other vehicles and then transform into them from the first movie but this was a strange pick for the oldest Transformer. Secondly, how did he get the ability to teleport himself and others and why don’t other Transformers have this ability?

My Review:

I really enjoyed the action of this movie but it failed grab my imagination like the first one did. It was a typical bad plot sequel. You need to see it on the big screen for the action scenes but I would not pay full price to watch it again. Check it out as an afternoon matinee or wait for it to come to the cheap theaters.

My Grade: C+

Other Reviews

IMDB : 6.5 out of 10

Rotten Tomatoes: Critics Review: 20%-- Rotten- 3.9 out of 10

Rotten Tomatoes: Community Review: 68%-- Fresh- 6.7 out of 10

Roger Ebert: 1 out of 4 stars

Slash Films: 3 out of 10 Stars

New York Times: 2.5 out of 5 Stars

Alternative Ending for Terminator Salvation

2009-05-31T22:47:00.000-05:00

EW.com recently broke the ending that we did not see and will not see with Terminator: Salvation. I honestly could see this ending working with this movie. The ending the studio went with was fairly predictable but allowed for this series to have more sequels. Check it out.

"There was talk on the Internet about an alternate ending where Connor dies and they take Connor's likeness and put it on top of Marcus Wright's machine body. So that it's actually a machine that's leading the resistance! And the Internet caught wind of that and people went, 'That's bulls---! We don't want that!'" (EW.com)

McG grins. "Well, that's not really what the ending was." (EW.com)

Actually, the bloggers were on the right track. Except, McG adds, the original ending actually went even further. (EW.com)

"Connor dies, okay? He's dead," McG continues. "And Marcus offers his physical body, so Connor's exterior is put on top of his machine body. It looks like Connor, but it's really Marcus underneath. And all of the characters we care about (Kyle Reese, Connor's wife Kate, etc.) are brought into the room to see him and they think it's Connor. And Connor gets up and then there's a small flicker of red in his eyes and he shoots Kate, he shoots Kyle, he shoots everybody in the room. Fade to black. End of movie. Skynet wins. F--- you!" (EW.com)

This ending would have been a huge twist and would have blown my mind. It would have bummed me out that the machines would have won.

Movie Review: Terminator: Salvation

2009-05-31T21:28:00.004-05:00

The Terminator series is in a common situation for movies like that of the Alien , Spiderman, and X-Men movie series. The first movie was phenomenally different. The second movie was superior to the first and blew our socks off. Then the third movie was a huge disappointment. Now the Terminator series tries to bounce back with their fourth installment, Terminator: Salvation.

About this Movie:

This movie is set in the future after Judgment Day which occurs in 2018. Skynet has successfully destroyed much of the human race. The machines are in charge and gathering up what people they can find. There is an organized resistance movement which John Conner is involved. This movie tells the story of John Conner’s connection with the resistance, a new terminator, and how John meets Reece, his father.

What I liked about this Movie:

This movie was action packed from the moment it started. It was not just mindless action but rather driven by the plot of the movie. The story was decent but predictable.

All of the special effects were fantastic and beautiful, except for one. It was seamless with the rest of the movie.

I have been waiting to see life post Judgment Day since the concept was introduced in 1984’s first Terminator Movie. I love the gritty, dirty, post apocalyptic world of the Terminator. The scenes in LA destruction were very cool.

What I did not Like:

The plot was a bit predictable but not bad. It did not throw us for any loops or surprises.

There is a scene where Arnold’s face is superimposed over the body of another actor as a terminator unit. It does not last long but it was very hokey. Thankfully the face is burned away in a short period of time.

My Review:

I enjoyed this movie inside and out. I found it to be a fun ride that set up future movies. This popcorn movie was a blast of energy and cool special effects. It brought the Terminator movie series back to where it needed to be and allowed me to forget the

There was a possible alternate ending that would have made this movie mega cool but also a huge bummer in the end. (Click here to read about it).

My Grade: B+

Other Reviews
IMDB User Rating: 7.3 out of 10
Rotten Tomatoes Critics: 33% - Rotten Movie (average 5.1 out of 10)
Rotten Tomatoes Critics: 71% - Rotten Movie (average 6.7 out of 10)
Rebecca Murray: B+
Movies Online: Michael: 8 out of 10 Stars
Roger Ebert: 2 out of 4 Stars
Slice of Sci Fi: 2 out of 5 stars:

Movie Review: Star Trek

2009-05-31T20:23:00.003-05:00

I was introduced to Star Trek in the late 70’s when of local television station would show the re-runs after school. I had already grown to love Science Fiction with Star Wars. Star Trek was a completely different animal that Star Wars but I developed quite a fond appreciation for the series.

I began my movie watching with The Wrath of Khan and I was hooked from that time on. I am glad that I missed Star Trek the Motion Picture until much later or I might have given up on this series after the first movie. I still can not stay awake during that borefest.

About this Movie:

Star Trek is a rebooting of the whole franchise as only J.J. Abrams could deliver. There are new actors playing these beloved characters. A frequent Trek plot devise of time travel changes the entire Star Trek universe and the life of our beloved James Kirk. This allows Abrams to make changes to the characters and their history without causing massive rioting with Trek fanatics. This fun reboot causes the Trek universe to be much darker and grittier than the original series portrayed.

What I liked about this Movie:

I loved the concept of changing the universe from its roots with this movie and time travel. It was a smart use of an already accepted practice in the Trek –verse (see Voyage Home and First Contact). This worked for the plot and for most of the fans.

Spock, Bones, and Scotty came to life on the screen. Zachary Quinto (Sylar from Heroes) not only looked like a younger Spock but had his mannerisms and delivery down. I was amazed at his ability to make me think he was a younger Nimoy without thinking of Sylar. He portrayed the internal struggles of Spock between his Vulcan and human sides.

Karl Urban did a great job of becoming Doctor Leonard ‘Bones’ McCoy. He brought the dry wit and fiery personality that DeForest Kelley made famous. He was the emotionally driven doctor that balances out the logic induced intellect of Spock.

I simply loved Scotty in this movie. Simon Pegg gets to be Montgomery “Scotty” Scott before he becomes the genius engineer of the Enterprise. When we first meet Scotty, he is in exile because his theories are not accepted by Star Fleet but he takes over engineering before the end of the movie.

The plot of a Star Trek movie is never it’s strong suit but some Trek movies have better plots than others. This movie fits in that category. It was well written but still contains several plot holes. But it is nothing that can not be overlooked.

This was a stunningly beautiful movie. The scenery is great while on Earth and in outerspace. The special effects were top notch. This movie had all the visual appeal that you would expect from a summer popcorn movie and more.

What I did not Like:

There were only two minor things that I did not like about this movie. There were times that I did not believe that Chris Pine was Kirk. I know that his character changed more that any other but at times I saw the actor and not the character.

Anton Yelchin laid the Russian accent on a bit thick for Chekov.

My Review:
I loved this movie. This was the best Star Trek since Wrath of Kahn. J.J. Abrams hit this out of the park and he is not a Trek fan.

My Grade: A

Other Reviews
IMDB User Rating: 8.4 out of 10
Rotten Tomatoes Critics: 95% - Fresh Movie (average 8.1 out of 10)
Rebecca Murray: A
Movies Online: 8 out of 10 Stars
Roger Ebert: 2 out of 4 Stars
Real Movie News- average rating: 5 out of 5 stars:

Movie Review: X-Men Origins: Wolverine

2009-05-31T20:08:00.004-05:00

My good friend John Paul introduced me to the X-Men in the early 1980’s while we were in middle school. I was already an avid comic book fan that read Amazing Spider-man, New Teen Titans, Legion of Superheroes, and the Justice League. I instantly fell in love with the great characters in X-Men. The mysterious wild man, Wolverine, was the cornerstone of those fabulous heroes.

The first X-Men movie renewed my faith that comic books could be made into good adaptations. The second X-Men movie exceeded my expectations and told a good story while introducing us to some of the better known X-Men characters. My hopes were dashed with the third movie when they tried to combine two of the best known X-Men stories but not they were not faithful enough to either story and focused on special effects instead of smart writing. My hope with X-Men Origins: Wolverine was that this movie could turn the X-Men brand of movies back to pre X-3 but my expectations were for a suckfest of a movie. Yet I paid my $10 to see X-Men Origins: Wolverine on opening night.

About this Movie:

X-Men Origins: Wolverine begins with Logan, Wolverine, as a small child that is sickly in 1840. We quickly learn about family issues that cause young Logan discover his powers and to run off with his older half brother. Both of the boys are blessed with healing factors that allow them to age extremely slowly after adulthood. The boys find that they are tailor made for war with their feral instincts and healing abilities through out the decades of their life. After some time, Logan leaves the life of violence and war for the life of a lumberjack. After tragedy in Logan’s life, he finds his way back to the life of violence and revenge which subjected him to experimentation that gave him the adamantium laced skeleton and claws. The just of the movie is a simple plot of a man that wants to live his life out in peace after he discovers the horrible things he is capable of but is thrust back into a life of violence for revenge.

What I liked about this Movie:

I really like Hugh Jackman as Logan. After three X-Men movies, he has the character and mannerisms of Wolverine. I can not imagine anyone else playing this role.

This movie did a fairly good job of telling the origin to the mysterious Wolverine. Even though some of the details were changed, I believe it gave enough background for most casual X-Men followers to have a better understanding of the character and his motivation. It also explained Logan’s memory loss that plagued him for years in the comics and for three movies.

This movie was a fun movie to start off the summer popcorn movie watching. There was a lot of action and special effects while yet still having a plot and some character development. This movie will not cause you to contemplate the meaning of life but it will entertain you if you go in expecting a typical comic book movie.

What I did not Like:

This movie tried to introduce too many other characters. They brought in other X-Men characters such as Cyclops, Gambit, Emma Frost, the Blog, and many more. There was no time to explore any of these characters. It was pointless to introduce these characters and then essentially ignore most of them. Comic book movies often fail when they introduce too many bad guys but never develop them (Batman and Robin, Spiderman 3, and many more examples) but this movie had a similar problem with introducing to many super characters in general. This movie needed to stick with Wolverine, Sabertooth, Sliverfox, and Stryker.

I had a problem with Gambit and most things about him in this movie. Firstly, where was his Cajun accent? After the fantastic X-Men cartoon of the 90’s, it is hard not to expect a thick Cajun accent but it did not exist in this movie. The core of Gambit is rouge and a thief that becomes a reluctant hero but I really did not get that feel from this character at all.

Don’t even get me started on my issues with the character of Wade Wilson/ Deadpool character.

It is hard to love this Wolverine movie when we have been exposed to great superhero movies over the last year with Iron Man, The Dark Knight, and Watchmen. With the greatness of those movies in our minds, it is hard to lay down the hopes that this movie would completely rock. It did not rock but it was good for a superhero movie.

My Review:

I liked this movie and will probably buy it on DVD but I did not love it as I had hoped. But it was not as bad as I feared it might be. It was a fun movie that was worth my money but not one that I will treasure for ever. It is a must see in the movie theatre for the action sequences.

My Grade: B

Other Reviews
IMDB User Rating: 6.8 out of 10
Rotten Tomatoes Critics: 36% - Rotten Movie (average 5.1 out of 10)
Rotten Tomatoes Community:64% Fresh (average 6.3 out of 10)
Rebecca Murray: B-
Movies Online: Michael: 8 out of 10 Stars
Roger Ebert: 2 Stars out of 4
Real Movie News: 3.0 Stars out of 5.0

Watchmen Movie Review

2009-03-08T17:01:00.006-05:00

I read this graphic novel, Watchmen, in 1986. I have hoped this story would eventually make the silver screen since that moment in time. It would have been impossible a decade ago to create a movie which would require the level of CGI to bring forth the vision of Moore to the screen. I went in with humongous expectations for this film and I was not disappointed.

About this Movie:

The Watchmen Movie is based on the popular graphic novel (comic book) miniseries from the mid 1980’s by Alan Moore. This comic defined the term graphic novel with its graphic portrayal of an alternate universe where superheroes existed and had been outlawed in the 1970’s. The life of caped vigilante is shown to be a dirty and morally off center life for many of the characters. This story was revolutionary for the comic book genre and how fans looked at their heroes.

This is not a movie for the kids. It is rated R for a reason. It has intense violence, gore, nudity (male and female nudity), adult language, and a rape scene. It is not your average comic book movie.

What I liked about this Movie:

I believe this movie stuck to the heart of Moore’s story. At 2 hours and 45 minutes, it could not add in every detail from the comic but it did bring the soul of the story to life. Unlike some other comicbook adaptations, this movie stuck to the plot and often the very tiny details rather than just borrowing general concepts and character names only.

The cinematography was beautiful and picturesque of the comic book panels. It was amazingly accurate on the details of the scenes. I dropped my jaw numerous times it was perfect on the important panels. Some of these panels were the breaking of glass when the Comedian is thrown out of the window, Nite Owl wiping his glasses, and the clock on Mars.

The casting of Rorschach was nailed. The actor that portrayed Rorschach not only had the look and feel of Rorschach but also had the voice and delivery of the lines. His every changing inkblot mask was freaky and cool at the same time. In the comic, Rorschach wore lifts to compensate for his short stature. This was not directly discussed in the film but you could visually see the height difference between character in disguise and without the mask in prison.

The cast in general was great. I really believed these actors were the characters from the book.

I loved the presentation of the 80's. It was like a trip back in time. I remember the heaviness of the nuclear race and how intense negations were to lower the stock piles. They used the popular culture of the 80's with MTV and politicians and commentators (such as Pat Buchanan) to bring in the illusion. This movie used music from the 70's and 80's very effectively. All of this helped produce the feel of the big decade on the screen.

This movie was two hours and forty five minutes long but it did not drag on at all. Every moment of the film was enjoyable from the beginning to the very end of the film. I felt like I got my money’s worth even with paying for full price tickets.

What I did not Like:

There was not much that I disliked about this movie. I could nitpick about how they left out this detail or that detail. I could complain about the changing of the big ending. But really I can not complain about those things because this movie made it work.

My Review:

I loved this movie. It was a great presentation of this wonderful but disturbing comic. It is gritty and grimy but that is the nature of the Watchmen. As a fan of the comic, there were times where I knew they were missing a scene but I am hopeful it will be on the extended edition of the movie when it comes to DVD. The scenes that were missing were not essential to the plot of the story.

My Grade: A

Other Reviews
IMDB User Rating: 8.3 out of 10.0
Rotten Tomatoes Critics: 65% Fresh (average 6.3 out of 10)
Rotten Tomatoes Community: 73% Fresh (average 7.4 out of 10)
Roger Ebert: 2 Thumbs up/ 4 Stars
Real Movie News: 4.0 Stars out of 5.0

Soccer Mom- Review

2009-01-11T17:50:00.008-06:00

My daughter bought the movie Soccer Mom with some of her Christmas money. She really desired to see this movie because it stars Emily Osment, who plays Lilly Truscott on Hannah Montana. I reluctantly agreed to watch it with my daughter even though this movie did not appeal to me and soccer bores me.

About this Movie:

A soccer team of 14 year old girls can not win a game. Their coach is transferred to another city for his job. He tells the girls that he knows the world famous soccer great Lorenzo Vincenzo and he has agreed to be their coach.

Becca's father was her soccer coach before he died. She had intended to quit the team with her old coach, before the announcement that Vincenzo would be the new coach, but is now excited about playing again. Arrangements are made for Becca's mother, Wendy, to greet the new coach and bring him to meet the girls. Come to find out, Vincenzo only told their old coach that he would coach the girls to get rid of the nuisance of a coach. Wendy decides to dress up and masquerade as Vincenzo so Becca will not be disappointed again.

This movie is a combination of The Bad News Bears, Mrs. Doubtfire, and Just One of the Guys.

What I liked about this Movie:

This movie does teach great life lessons about practicing and believing in yourself. It does so without being overly preachy or self righteous. This movie did not take itself too serious and it does have some funny scenes with the mom trying to be a guy.

Overall the characters were likable in this movie. The acting was alright for a movie geared to pre-teens. My seven year old daughter gave this movie a thumb up.

What I did not Like:

This movie was produced by the Ladies Home Journal but they appeared to copy the plot of several old Disney movies. This was simply a retread of better movies like The Bad News Bears and Little Giants. They even borrowed the Disney standard of using a one parent home (Why does every Disney live action movie have to have a dead parent?)

It does have a scene where Wendy, who is dressed as Vincenzo is kissed by one of the other girl's mother. There is also a discussion of how her friend is not gay even though she had assumed he was because he is a hair dresser. This movie could cause discussions that families may not be prepared to discuss.

I did mention that this movie was about soccer? right? SNOOZE!

My Review:

This movie was better than I thought it would be. I went in with really low expectations and it was better than I projected. I did not fall asleep or want to pop my eyeballs out with a spoon (like with High School Musical series). Now it was not good but it was not horrible.

My Grade: C-
My Daughter's Grade: B+

Here is what other reviews have to say:

IMDB User Rating: 5.0 out of 10.0
Common Sense Review: 3 out 5 stars
Tribune (Texas Newspaper): 2 Thumbs UP
Real Movie News: 3.5 Stars out of 5.0
Film Bug: 4 stars out of 5.0

Movie Review: The Dark Knight

2008-07-20T21:37:00.009-05:00

About this Movie: (Beware: spoilers are included in this review)

This movie starts off very dark and becomes extremely dark. It is not a kid’s movie by any means. It is an intense psychological look at our heroes and villains and pushes them past their limits. When you think you hit the top of the intensity and the twisted perspective, it bumps up to another level. It is an unreal rush.

Batman and Lt. Gordon have been cleaning up the streets. They are putting the screws to organized crime in Gotham City. New District Attorney Harvey Dent joins in to help the fight. Organized crime begins to use one of their Hong Kong Counterparts to laundry their money. Batman retrieves him from his compound in Hong Kong. This allows the Joker, a minor player in Gotham until till now, to swoop in and start his reign of terror.

I will not give away any more of the plot.

What I liked about this Movie:

This is the pentacle of the character of the Joker. I loved Jack as the Joker in Batman (1989) but Heath Ledger takes to the extreme. This demonstrates why the Joker is Batman's greatest enemy. His crimes are not about logic or greed but his twisted mind. The Joker was 4 steps ahead of everyone for the entire movie. The entertainment buzz about Ledger being nominated for an Oscar is not an exaggeration. This will be the first comicbook movie to win an Oscar for acting.

Christian Bale portrayed both Bruce Wayne and Batman perfectly. He was able to show the complexity of both characters and what was driving both of them. He demonstrated the shell that both Bruce and Batman have to keep. I loved the relationship with previous love interest Rachel Dawes.

Aaron Eckhart captures the character of Harvey Dent. This is great acting. He will be overshadowed by Ledger's performance but do not miss it. This is the real Harvey/Two Face character (sorry Tommy Lee Jones but Aaron was 100 times better).

I really liked Gary Oldman as James Gordon in Batman Begins. He did a great job as a young Gordon. In this movie, he solidifies his role. He becomes the James Gordon that we love in the comics.

This movie reminded me of the best Joker stories I have ever read including Death in the Family and the Killing Joke. The plot and writing is fabulous. The filming of this movie was wonderful. The special effects were really good but they are not the main focus of this movie.

What I did not Like:

Nothing! Plain and simple, there was not a thing that I did not like about this movie.

My Review:
Best movie of the year and one of the best I have ever seen. This movie is what a Batman movie was meant to be. This movie is not just for Comicbook fans. It is a must see.

My Grade: A+

Here is what other reviews have to say:

IMDB User Rating: 9.7 out of 10
Rotten Tomatoes Critics:94% Fresh
Rolling Stones: 31/2 Stars out of 4
E Online: A
Roger Ebert: 4 Stars

Indiana Jones IV Review

2008-05-31T13:08:00.001-05:00

After a twenty year absence, Indiana Jones hit the big screen last week. I went with a group of friends to take in the adventure. Here is my review.

About this Movie: (Beware: spoilers are included in this review)
Indy is now twenty years older in the late 1950's. McCarthyism is at an all time high. The cold war is raging against the Soviets. Instead of the Nazi's trying to steal relics for power, the Soviets have bought into this game. They are after the crystal skull. This skull is not the typical religious symbol but rather something out of this world. In the process of chasing the skull, Indy joins up with a young protégé and a familiar face from the past.

What I liked about this Movie:
Indy is back. Indiana Jones is one of the greatest action series of all time. It is great to have another movie in this saga. It is nice to see the Fedora and whip back in action.

There were some great action sequences in this movie that are very typical for an Indy movie. The motorcycle chase scene is a lot of fun especially in the library. There is the car chase and skull exchange in the jungle that reminds me of the truck chase scene in Raiders. There is plenty of action in this movie.

Indy movies are known for their various creatures. There are snakes in Raiders, Spiders and bugs in Temple, and rats in Last Crusade. This movie has mammoth killer ants that know how to swarm. It is very cool.

I liked Shia LaBeouf as Mutt Williams in this movie. I loved how he arrived on a motorcycle dressed as Marlon Brando from the Wild One. It was no secret that he was Indy and Marion's love child but it played very well in the movie. They left it where he could take over for Indy on adventures in the future. In the end, Indy even calls him Junior when is a nice tribute back to Last Crusade.

Overall the affects in this movie are very good. The CGI is flawless in certain scenes. Effects have come a long ways over the last 20 years.

There are other fun geeky things in this movie. There is the return of one of Indy's previous love interests. There is the glimpse of the Ark of the Covenant in the Warehouse. Indy says the famous line from Star Wars (not "May the Force Be with You") that Harrison stated 30 years ago "I've got a bad feeling about this". I did applaud when this line slipped out of his mouth.

What I did not Like:
Some of the scenes were very similar to other movies of this genre such as the Mummy series and National Treasure. The ants were cool but reminded me of the scarabs from the Mummy. It appeared that they had trouble finding things that were real fresh for this movie.

This movie had a different feel than the other three. I think part of it is the setting in the late 50's. I did not like the Soviets as villains nearly as much as Nazis. I understand that Harrison is 20 years older so you have to make Indy older and this worked for the time frame but it just felt weird.

The CGI for the Prairie Dogs was bad. They reminded me of the gopher from Caddy Shack. They seemed completely pointless and out of place in this movie.

The atomic explosion scene seemed like filler to me. The fake people in a fake town was kind of fun but was not relevant. Indy jumping into a lead lined refrigerator right before the explosion and is blown clear of the site was completely unbelievable.

What bothered me most about this movie were the aliens. In the first 10 minutes we are introduced to aliens being the center of the story. I was confused if I was watching an Indy movie or the new X-Files movie. After the Inter-dimensional spaceship left, I half expected Indy to call Marion "Scully".

My Review:
I wanted to love this movie but I did not. But I did really like this movie. It was a fun popcorn movie. It was great to have Indy back. It had a similar feel to Star Wars Episode I for me. It is great to have a fabulous franchise back but the movie did not live up to the original trilogy. That being said, I enjoyed myself and found it worth the price of admission.

My Grade: B-

Here is what other reviews have to say:

IMDB User Rating: 7.3 out of 10
Rotten Tomatoes Fans: 64% Fresh
Rotten Tomatoes Critics: 78% Fresh
Rolling Stones: 2.5 Stars out of 4
E Online: A
Roger Ebert: 3.5 Stars out of 4

I am Iron Man

2008-05-04T21:37:00.002-05:00

The summer blockbuster movie season has started. As usual, the month of May dishes out the fun and money making movies that will get no nod at the Oscars for acting. But as a fanboy, the summer movie season is a blast. Iron Man is the first to rocket onto the big screen for this summer.

About this Movie:
This movie sticks fairly close to the comicbook series. Tony Stark, ( Robert Downey Jr.), is the rich and famous owner of Stark Industries, which is a big weapon's manufacturer. He is taken by terrorists and forced to create a weapon. Instead he built his first Iron Man suit, powered by a device to keep him alive. His armor continues to evolve and change during the movie with some very humorous moments in the process. In the end, he fights against another version of his armor which is worn by one of the bad guys.

What I liked about this Movie:
It was complete gambit of a popcorn summer movie. It had a lot of action and appropriately placed humorous moments. It was very visually appealing with great special affects. It had a great story that stuck very close to the comicbook.

This was a great comicbook adoption. In the last 10 years, the comic industry has developed a lot of good to great adoptions of comicbook characters and stories, which I have enjoyed. But they have also had as just as many misses like the Punisher, Daredevil, and Hulk. Iron Man is the first group and it is one of the best. It is up there with Spiderman 1 and X-Men 1.

The cast is wonderful. The acting was really good for a popcorn movie. Downey pulled off the drunken rich guy (not a stretch for Downey) with no issues. Gwyneth Paltrow was a great Pepper Potts. The other actors are perfect fits for their roles.

What I did not Like:
In this movie, Jarvis is not the attentive butler but rather a computer system that runs Stark's home and the Iron Man armor. I also felt that his big "reveal" at the end of the movie should have waited for a sequel. Those minor details are the only things I could really complain about in this movie.

My Review:
This is a "super" movie that I fully recommend. It is fun and full of action and great special affects. The crowd laughed and cheered often during this movie.

It is rated PG13. It did seem appropriate for some children under the age of 13. I would recommend parents viewing it before letting their children go. It is much tamer than other PG 13 movies like Cloverfield.

Look for the great Stan Lee in this movie as a Hugh Hefner like character. (Not as funny as his role in FF2 but still very funny)

By the way, stay through the credits. Comic fans will love the implications of the post credit special appearance.

My Grade: A-

Here is what other reviews have to say:

Rotten Tomatoes Fans: 94% Fresh
Rotten Tomatoes Critics: 91% Fresh
Rolling Stones: 3.5 out 4 Stars
E Online: B+

Also check out: Strange Culture: 5 Reasons you will enjoy Iron Man

Cloverfield Review

2008-01-20T18:22:00.000-06:00

I finally was able to watch the highly anticipated Cloverfield this afternoon. I have been salivating at the previews and online hype. I love most everything that J.J. Abrams and Bad Robot Productions touches.

About this Movie:
Cloverfield is a thrill ride extreme. As with any roller coaster, if you have high blood pressure, are pregnant, have back or neck problems, get motion sick or a queasy stomach, then you will want to pass on this movie. Ok, you may not have to pass if you are pregnant or back problems but you will feel like you spent 3 hours on roller coaster and the movie is only an hour and a half long.

It is filmed from the perspective of a group of friends in New York's Manhattan when a monster attacks the city and all Hades breaks loose. One of the friends has a video camera because he was taping the goodbye party. It is similar to the Blair Witch Project with the whole movie from a hand held camera. One of the guys that viewed this movie with me has to leave an hour in because of the camera motion.

Cloverfield is a monster movie on steroids. I can not even describe the creature because it is so bizarre. You have to see it to fully understand this terrifying monster. It also has spawn that are as bad as the main monster. Together they terrorize New York far beyond what Godzilla and children ever could.

What I liked about this Movie:
This is not your stereotypical monster movie. It develops characters and plot. You unfortunately become attached to some of characters along the way. This is a benefit of shooting the movie from the innocent bystander's point of view. My friend Bryan pointed out how shocking it is that this method of story telling for a monster movie has not been used previously.

The special effects were very special. Even as twisted and bizarre that the creature is, it looked like it belonged. There was realism to the monster and the way it acted and moved.

When the creature first attacks the city and destroys a skyscraper, there is a dust storm that hits the streets. It was just like happened on 9-11-01 when the towers went down. They attempted to keep a level of realism all the way through this movie and were fairly successful.

This movie had a similar feel to the movie Alien. The movie Alien was the first to successfully mix the Sci-Fi and Horror genre. Cloverfield mixes the Monster Movie genre with Horror with success. There are moments that reminded me of Alien but in a limited way.

There were some very funny moments in this movie. Hud, the friend that is video taping, has some great lines. Hud is very socially inept and insecure. He talks when he should just be quiet. The conversation in the subway tunnel was great. I know guys just like Hud.

This movie was very different than anything I have ever seen.

What I did not Like:
The camera motion at times was too much. I had to hold my head during some of the scenes when they are running down the street. Anyone with any motion sickness issues will have problems with the some of the scenes.

My Review:
This movie was excellent. I was a bit numb after it was over because it was so intense. The crowd was totally silent as the movie ended. No one was talking or clapping or booing. Most people just sat there through as the credits began. It appeared to have the same affect on all of us. We were mesmerized and in shock.

This movie produced everything I was hoping from this movie. It is truly the monster movie of the ages.

By the way, stay through the credits.

My Grade: A

Here is what other reviews have to say:
IMDB User Rating: 8.1/10
Rotten Tomatoes: 76% Fresh
Roger Ebert: 3 Stars
Rolling Stones: 2 1/2 stars out of 4
E Online: B+

LInks for Cloverfield movie

2007-08-12T20:17:00.000-05:00

Here are Links for the mysterious movie without a title from J.J. Abrams and Bad Robot Production known as Cloverfield,1-18-08, and Slusho. Please leave me a comment if I have left any of them out.

The trailer (click her to view trailer)

Official Sites:

1-18-08.com

Slusho!

Blogs, websites, and forums

1.18.08 Blog

The 18th

Cloverfield Clues

1-18-08.livejournal.com

one-eighteen-oh-eight.blogspot.com

1-18-08pedia.com

11808clover.blogspot

cloverfield-movie.com

cloverfieldnews.com

cloverfieldparasite.blogspot

cloverfieldproject.com

jjabramsprojects.blogspot

kaliyugatheory.blogspot

monstrous-movie.blogspot

projectcloverfield.com

whatscloverfield.blogspot

Possible related sites
Slushozoom

www.rageofthegods.com

Possible Spoiler Links

SteakNBJ Forums

TRANSFORMERS

2007-08-03T11:29:00.000-05:00

Review by Fat Jack
My Rating: 3 stars out of 5
Rated PG-13

Rotten Tomatoes Critics: 57% Rotten
Rotten Tomatoes Users: 82% Fresh
Netflix: 4.3 stars out of 5
IMDb: 7.9 stars out of 10
Roger Ebert: 3 stars our of 4

I was a big fan of the Transformers as a kid. I collected the toys (and I still have many of them) and watched the cartoons. I was go for the experience and had fun, but I was not overly impressed. I was disappointed in the editing. Director Michael Bay utilized a very quick and jumpy camera. He cut away too soon in the action sequences and I thought he zoomed in too much. It made for exciting action scenes, but there were times when it was hard to see what was going on. I suspect that was to hide mistakes. It was fun while it lasted, but it was a forgettable action flick.

Mikaela: [speaking of Bumblebee] Why, if he's supposed to be like this super-advanced robot, does he transform back into this piece of crap Camaro?
Sam: Oh, see, no. That doesn't work. [Bumblebee turns around and speeds away.] Great. Now... see? Fantastic. Now you pissed him off! That car is sensitive. I mean, $4,000 just drove off!

THE SIMPSONS MOVIE

2007-08-03T11:25:00.000-05:00

Review by Fat Jack

My Rating: 4 stars out of 5
Rated PG-13

Rotten Tomatoes Critics: 89% Fresh
Rotten Tomatoes Users: 91% Fresh
Netflix: 4.3 stars out of 5
IMDb: 8.4 stars out of 10
Roger Ebert: 3 stars our of 4

I think most people expected THE SIMPSONS to suck, or at least to be nothing more than a feature length episode. Who knew that it would be so good? This flick bares all (including Bart’s doodle) and makes for a surprisingly fun time. Woo hoo!

Todd Flanders: I wish I had a dad like Homer.
Ned Flanders: Well I wish you didn't have the devil’s curly hair.

Marge: [to Lisa] Great. But the very best thing is that he listens to you. Because nothing means more than for a man to... [looks up in surprise].
Marge: How did the pig tracks get on the ceiling?
Homer: [singing Tune to Spider-Man Theme Song] Spider-Pig, Spider-Pig. / Does whatever a Spider-Pig does. / Can he swing / from a web? / No he can't / cause he's a pig. / Look out! / He is the Spider-Pig!

FANTASTIC FOUR: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER

2007-06-17T09:10:00.000-05:00

Review by Fat Jack
My Rating: 4 stars out of 5
Rated PG

Rotten Tomatoes Critics: 39% Rotten
Rotten Tomatoes Users: 60% Fresh
Netflix: 4.3 stars out of 5
IMDb: No rating yet
Chicago Sun-Times: 2.5 stars our of 5

I was hesitant to see this after the vomit session that was the first FANTASTIC FOUR, but I heard decent things, some good things, and the trailer looked like fun. On a Father’s Day weekend when I get to choose the movie, I thought our little family would give it a chance. I had been reading comics all morning and was in the mood.

Popcorn movie – a great description of this movie. Where RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER differs from say, the last SPIDER-MAN movie is this: F4 does not take itself seriously. It is a comic book movie that knows it is a comic book movie. There are bits of silly humor, plot holes, and bits of preachy dialogue at the end. Whereas SPIDER-MAN seeks to be realized as a piece of movie art, F4 seeks to entertain and simply have fun. I know that going into and am more forgiving assuming the creators take themselves serious enough as to not stomp of their own film.

Besides, the bar was set so low in the first one, the creators would have to try hard to make SILVER SURFER worse.

So I was into it. It was fun and enjoyable. We three (me, wife and daughter) had a nice, light, fun Father’s Day at the movies.

Susan Storm: Guys, we have a problem. He’s here.
Reed Richards: Sue, get out of here!
Susan Storm: Why are you trying to destroy us?
Silver Surfer: I have no choice.
Susan Storm: There’s always a choice.
Silver Surfer: Not always.

30 Days of Night

2007-06-15T16:32:00.000-05:00

Another comic story turns to Hollywood for interpretation. The famed comic, 30 Days of Night, came out several years ago. I was lucky enough to all three comics when they hit. Great horror comic. Sam Raimi (I suspect you've heard of him) will produce the flick. It stars Josh Hartnett and Melissa George and is due out 19 October 2007. Diamond has the goods:

For those unfamiliar with 30 Days of Night, the story is set in the remote village of Barrow, Alaska, which is just about completely dark for an entire month every winter. After most of townsfolk head south for the winter, a group of vampires arrive and the Barrow's Sherriff (Hartnett) must stop them.

Click here for info from IMDb.
Click here for the trailer.

Blooker!!! Neigh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-06-14T21:23:00.000-05:00

My brother in law (Fat Jack) talked me into posting my thoughts about movies in this inconceivable blog. Yes, I love watching movies, but don't get to see them as often as I would like. I also have a tendency to watch shows that are not part of the mainstream. Well here goes nothing.

Just watched an oldie but goodie last night with the kids. We watched "Young Frankenstein" and I think the kids enjoyed it. If you haven't ever seen YF or it's just been a while, do yourself a favor and rent it. It stars Gene Wilder, the late Marty Feldman, Madeline Kahn, the late Peter Boyle (as the monster), Cloris Leachman (Frau Blucher) and a voluptuous Teri Garr. Since it is written by Mel Brooks, it's a parody of the original version of Frankenstein. This is definitely a movie chalk full of funny movie quotes. "What knockers!" "Sedagive!!!!!!!" "You take the blonde and I'll take the one in the turbin!" "Could be worse, could be raining!!" It is rated PG and only has a couple of bad words so the kids could see it. It does have some adult themes (bedroom talk) but probably no more than your typical prime time sitcom nowadays.

I especially like the scene where the monster visits the blind man (cameo by Gene Hackman). Too funny watching the monster roll his eyes after the blind man crushes his cup after his toast. "Hey, where ya goin', I was gonna make expresso."

Well, I promised the Fat Jack I would sign up to post on the blog and I did. I am an accountant, not a writer, but I will try to embellish a little bit in future posts. Here are some movies I have seen lately and how I rate them out of 4 stars:

The Waitress - 31/2 (Adrienne Shelly's swan song, murdered last Nov.)
The Host - 3 (Korean seamonster started by those evil american scientists)
Babel - 31/2 (Heart wrenching, 6 degrees story of people desperately needing to be heard)
Away from Her - 31/2 (Excellent acting by Julie Christie on grim subject of alzheimer's)
Notes on a Scandal - 21/2 (Probably like better than rating, deducted 1/2 point for creepiness and wife hated it, although when I was a teenager it was cool to have an older actress seduce a teenage boy)
Little Children - 31/2 (Creepiness factor outweighed by former Bad News Bears pitcher reviving acting career and playing a pedophile)
Shrek 3 - 2 (Just okay, material has about run out, must see with the kids, though)
The Last Kiss - 21/2 (Zach Braff making some stupid impulsive decisions and having to beg for forgiveness for half the movie)
Pan's Labrynth - 4 (Masterpiece adult fairy tale, must watch again soon, perfect at the theater, also helped with the grim story line that the theater's heater wasn't working properly and the temperature was about 50 degrees.)
The Fountain 11/2 (A little too out there for most people, including myself. May have been better if movie was a little shorter, just seemed to drag.....on)

Spider-Man 3- One Fan's perspective

2007-05-07T08:13:00.000-05:00

Review by Larry Litle

I am a true blue Spider-Man fan. I have been reading Amazing Spider-Man since I was 5 years old. I love the Spidey Character and I love Peter Parker even more. Peter is a poor sap whose life has always been far worse than mine but he has always done what is the right thing, at least eventually.

I was very fearful when the first movie came out. I had seen Hollywood ruin great comic characters over and over again. I was hopeful that it would not suck but I had very low expectation. When I left the theatre after Spidey #1, I was very pleased. Yes, as a fan, I had trouble with some of the details like no "web-shooter" and the blurring of Mary Jane and Gwen Stacey but I loved the movie anyway. They always have to change something but it did not take away from the core of Spider-Man/ Peter Parker.

I did not have the looming fear with the second movie but I rather had high expectations and anticipation. I was well please with the second one but it also had some issues.

Spider-Man 3 brought back the fear and anxiety. I became anxious when it was announced that they were going to have 3 villains because I know how that worked for the tragic Batman and Robin (at least Spidey 3 did not have the cardboard cut out actor- George Clooney). Then I started reading reviews and critics of this film. It was being torn to shreds and made to sound like it would be Daredevil bad. As Spidey 3 is starting, I crossed my fingers and spoke out loud several times "Please don't suck."

So much for brief background information. Below is the real review. It does include spoilers so if you do not want to know, do not read until after you see this film. You have been warned.

What I liked:

I enjoyed Peter Parker. I loved that he is finally comfortable with his Spidey alter-ego. I liked how he started getting a little cocky about Spidey. Then his perfect world came crashing down and he had even more problems. Unlike my fellow reviewer, I even liked the crying. This is true the nature of Pete. I loved how his anger gets the better of him when dealing with information about Uncle Ben. I enjoyed the complexities of his relationship with Mary Jane. I savored the transformation to the dark Pete and then his redemption. Toby has become the complete Peter Parker.

Topher Grace was an amazing Eddie Brock. The story stuck very close to the comic with Eddie and how he becomes disgraced. His hatred for Peter which leads to the bonding with the symbiote was a wonderful tribute to the comics. The church scene of the bell ringing and Peter ripping of the symbiote was picture perfect. I thought the CGI of Venom was wonderful and brought to life this terrifying character.

The story to rap up the Harry Osborn arc was marvelous. The best friends turned arch-enemies story played very well on screen. I truly felt for Harry even when he was the Goblin. The transformation from enemies back to friends for a while then back to enemies and then back again was fabulous and true to the nature of the comics. The redemption of Harry and the Goblin was fulfilled in his death by his own glider (similar to his father’s death) while saving Pete and Mary Jane was the perfect ending even though I wanted him to live.

The Sandman was a complex bad guy with reasons for the crimes he was committing. This is true to his comic character. Sandman has been a villain by circumstance. For a while in the comics, he even turned to be a good guy. I like how they used his sick daughter to show the humanity of this villain. There were things about the Sandman that I did not like but I enjoyed his character over all.

Many people disliked Aunt May's role in this film. I felt that it demonstrated well the relationship between May and Pete. She is still a huge part of his conscience. Her reaction to Peter's news that the Sandman, who killed her beloved husband, was killed by Spiderman was perfect. She has always been the forced that helped Peter stay grounded in life. I thought it was brilliant to have her show up at his apartment because she is worried about him.

If you are going to introduce Gwen Stacey (see below) then it is wonderful to introduce Captain Stacey. Captain Stacey is one of my favorite old peripheral characters. I continued waited for them to kill him off by a piece of falling wall but I realized that they just introduced him. In the comics, Captain Stacey sacrifices himself to save a child from a piece of falling wall that Doc Ock knocks down while fighting Spider-Man.

The action sequences were sweet. I prized the action sequences with Spidey and the Sandman. The ending battle sequence with Sandman and Venom fighting Spidey and the (Good) Goblin was sensational. True to the comics, the Spidey sense can not detect Venom and that was shown nicely in this film. Venom killing the (good) Goblin with his own glider was a nice touch. I enjoyed the trapping of Venom and using sound against him to defeat him.

Update 5/9/2007 12:05:48 PM I also loved Bruce Campbell in this movie. He always has a minor role in these movie but this was clearly the best. He is a great "French Maître d" in this film. This was clearly the funniest parts of the movie. It was hysterical watching him bring the champagne and sending it back.

What I did not like:

I really liked the overall presentation of Sandman. I did not like how they made his fly in flying sand. Fat Jack's review of this is correct and right when simply stating that “sand does not fly”. I know it worked in the Mummy but the Mummy was controlling the wind with the sand. Sandman is not Storm of the X-Men and can not make sand fly.

Why is it in every final fight scene has to have Mary Jane's life in jeopardy? All three movies used her as bait. Why not lure Spidey out by having Sandman attack civilians. I do give props for them having a cool way to threaten her life with the web trap and the taxi.

There was not enough Venom. He is one of Spidey's worst enemies. The first several times Spidey faced him, Spidey also lost his life. He almost seemed like an after thought in this movie. I loved the build up to him but he did not do much. Also Venom would not have died by a Pumpkin bomb. If you were going to show the explosion, why not show him hanging off the edge of the building recovering. Venom needs to be the exclusive villain in Spidey 4, if they make one.

Talking about Sandman and Venom, I thought there were too many villains in this movie. I love all three villains but it would have been much better by leaving out either the Sandman or Venom. I believe you still could have had the redemption of Harry and had him die at the hands of either Venom or Sandman. What I would have loved to have seen was the story of the Black Suit and to have shown Venom at the end as a precursor of things to come like at the end of the Batman Begins. A show down with the Sandman at the end would have worked for that scenario.

I understand that the Spidey sense does not work when Venom is attacking and this was even joked about. What I do not understand is how both the Goblin and the Sandman can sneak up on Peter. Did the Spidey sense go on the fritz? It was almost non-existent in this movie.

Why does every movie have Spider-Man unmasked in multiple parts of the film? Until recently, Spider-Man's identity was one of the greatest secrets in the Marvel Universe. He would not stand on the top of a building with his mask off. He would not show up at Harry's with his mask off. He certainly would make his mask out of something that can take a blow or two so it does not rip in half like it has in every movie.

I did not like how they introduced Gwen Stacey. I hated how Peter used her to make Mary Jane jealous. The first movie blended these characters together and made it difficult to bring in the true nature of Gwen. Gwen was Peter’s first love that was pure and innocent. It is hard to bring that into a character that is being used by Pete.

Why would we mess with the killer of Uncle Ben? Yes this was a convenient way to make Peter become darker but it was wrong to mess with the story. It reminded me of Batman Forever trying to rehash the death of his parents. There is no good reason for it.

Final Thoughts: I really liked this movie. I know that some people are saying that it is too long. I felt it was about perfect in length. Others have stated that this was a chick flick/ crying movie in disguise. I also disagree. Peter and company are dealing with really issues in relationships and life. There may be no crying in baseball but there is in Spidey movies. I really liked but did not love this movie

My Grade: a Solid B

Other Grades:

Fat Jack's review: 2 out of 5

Netflix: 4.7 out of 5

IMDB: 7 out of 10

Rolling Stone: 3 out of 4

Rotten Tomatoes: 61% Fresh

E! Online: B

First Weekend Gross: 151.1 Million Dollars

Mini-Review: "Spider-Man 3"

2007-05-05T07:35:00.000-05:00

Review by Fat Jack
My Rating: 2 stars out of 5
Rated PG-13

Rotten Tomatoes: 61% Fresh
Netflix: 4.7 stars out of 5
IMDb: 7.9 stars out of 10

Spider-man 3 was not as bad as the critics make it out to be. It was a fun action movie and it had some cool moments. Some of the criticism was warranted. Here’s what I noticed:

There was entirely too much crying by everybody.
Sand cannot fly.
It was a bit too long.
There were too many villains.
What was up with the Uncle Ben reinvention?

Everyone had their crying moment in this film and some, like Peter Parker, cried through the whole thing. That really doesn’t bother me unless it is overused and this was overused. There are other ways to show pain and emotion besides crying. The water works were really flowing in this.

I do not care what kind of particle accelerating, neuralizing-what-you-call-it you put it in, sand cannot fly. Merge sand and man, and sand still cannot fly. It just can’t Why on God’s green earth Raimi thought it necessary to have Sandman turn into a cloud of particles and fly around the city is beyond me. What good could come of that except … and here it goes … you just want to have it look cool.

And now we know why Spider-Man 3 is getting poor reviews. Director Sam Raimi made the big no-no of comic book movies, the great failing of the genre. He focused on looking cool rather than being great. Whether pressure from the studio, or internal pressure to make the next one great, Raimi slipped and fell. Not all the way to the bottom mind you. This is an Oscar winner compared to other comic flicks like [shudder] Daredevil or Electra. But the pressure to one-up himself too its toll. The script was long, too long, and the characters were jumbled. Script not there. No problem. Add another villain or two and you can distract the audience with cool special effects. Oh, except that really doesn’t work.

Just in case all of that doesn’t work, then you can reinvent a character and his past. That will get them. Yeah, that gets them fighting mad. In a move of pure movie making genius, Raimi decided to change who killed Uncle Ben and work that whole thing into the Sandman plot. It sucked. Sucked big time. Hot steaming cup of sucked. Suck big donkey … okay I need to stop right there. [Breath] There was absolutely no sense in that. That is a big failing of fantasy and sci-fi writing. If you write yourself into a corner, rather than reworking the script and creating good writing, we just use magic to save the day or just make you think something happened one way when it really didn’t. Daytime soap operas employ this tactic all the time. That should tell you something.

The more I think about it, the longer I ponder these strikes, the more I dislike the movie. The madder I get. There was no sense in making these mistakes and someone of Raimi’s talent should have known better. Do these people not use editors? What the Hell?

For a flick it was fine. Plenty of action to keep things going. I liked what they did with Harry. Venom was fine, but they should have stopped there and made a movie around that. Would have been plenty for a good writer.

And by the way, does anyone really go to a church and ask God to kill someone for them? Do people really do that? I mean those people who do not have serious mental illnesses. That was about poor writing again. Seems I’m seeing a trend here. By the way, I really wanted to love this movie.

Mary Jane Watson: What's happened to you?
Peter Parker: I don't know... But I have to stop it.

[I wish someone had stopped this script a long time ago.]

Review: GRINDHOUSE

2007-04-09T21:54:00.000-05:00

Review by Fat Jack
My Rating: 5 stars out of 5
Karla Quotient: Avoid It

Now in Theaters
Rated R (very, very R)
Directed by: Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino

Rotten Tomatoes Critics: 82% fresh
Rotten Tomatoes Users: 90% fresh
Netflix: 4.4 stars out of 5
IMDb: 7.1 stars out of 10

This is a blood-soaked train ride that barrels down the River Styx at 200 miles per hour, and I loved every single second of it. The Rodriguez-Tarantino double feature pounds the ground from minute one with no less than flesh-eating zombies, powerhouse chicks who stomp skulls and save lives, guns, knives, blood and brains, and bad ass muscle cars. Movies do not get any better than that.

This is not for everyone. Don’t take your 10-year-old, no matter how cool or how mature. He’s not ready for it and even if he was, he shouldn’t be. This is not recommended for the likes of my sister, Karla, or grossfest thrill ride of incredible proportions. Be prepared for buckets of blood and ooze and smatterings of skull and laughs too.

Laughs you say? Yes, laughs. Maybe I shouldn’t laugh. Maybe I should be shocked and disgusted and disturbed. I did squirm a bit from time to time, and I enjoy that feeling as well. But I did laugh at parts where I think I was supposed to laugh. You may not. My friend, Brian, certainly will not. But I laughed during Tarantino’s PULP FICTION and KILL BILL. This brilliant director has this uncanny ability to bring humor to scenes that should not be funny and I tip my hat to that ability.

This is a double feature that starts with Rodriguez’s PLANET TERROR, which is a zombie flick. A good zombie flick as far as that goes – one of the best really. Then there are the fake trailers between the movies. Those are a hoot and they are directed by a host of different folks. You can get the skinny at IMDb. Afterwards, comes Tarantino’s flick, DEATH PROOF. Typical of Tarantino, this movie takes its time and develops the characters through brilliant dialogue. He doesn’t just rush into the action, but takes his time. I love that about Tarantino. In this case, we have a killer, a serial killer, whose weapon of choice is a death proof street rod.

One interesting tidbit is the actress, Zoe Bell, who plays herself in DEATH PROOF. The actor is a real-life stuntwoman who worked as the stuntwoman for Uma Thurman on the set of KILL BILL and the stuntwoman for XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS. In DEATH PROOF, she plays herself, a stuntwoman, who is a thrill seeker. She certainly gets her wish dealing with the psycho serial killer played by Kurt Russell. My wife loved this character. Tarantino and Rodriguez did a great job with creating strong, powerful female characters. That is nothing new for Tarantino who is a pro at portraying different types of great women. That is one thing I love about him. As a side note, the stunts in DEATH PROOF were done with real cars and real stunt people. I understand that Zoe Bell did her own stunts. After you see he movie, you will understand why that is so cool. CGI? I think not.

No doubt about it: Another hit for Tarantino. Rodriguez’s movie is good too, but it is nothing compared to DEATH PROOF. My only criticism is that DEATH PROOF wasn’t long enough. That is, there was so much more that could have been done to that movie. I wanted more: more of the characters, more of the story, more of the dialogue. More. But how much more could he have done with a movie that was nearly 3.5 hours long as it was?

STUNTMAN MIKE: Do I frighten you?
ARLENE: [nods]
STUNTMAN MIKE: Is it my scar?
ARLENE: It's your car

DR. DAKOTA BLOCK: If anyone comes to the door, I want you to shoot them.
DR. BLOCK’S SON: What if it’s Dad?
DR. DAKOTA BLOCK: Especially if it’s your Dad.

STUNTMAN MIKE: There are few things fetching as a bruised ego on a beautiful angel.

Scene Stealers

2007-04-03T23:15:00.000-05:00

There is an interesting movie review site out there called Scene Stealers. Check them out and their unique rating system. I think you will find their reviews interesting.

Star Wars 30th Anniversary Quiz

2007-04-03T10:35:00.001-05:00

Calling all fellow Star Wars geeks. If you have not taken the Wizard Universe Star Wars 30th Anniversary Quiz, then here is your chance. Here is what Wizard Universe has to say about the Quiz, "From the best 'Star Wars' movie ever made to the hottest woman in the galaxy, Wizard Universe wants to know your opinions on the Star Wars Universe ". Let the Force guide you in your selections and you will not go wrong.

I would like to thank my friend KittyKat Jill (AKA Token Girl) for pointing me to this quiz.

Mini-Review: "High School Musical

2007-03-31T20:58:00.000-05:00

Review by Fat Jack
My Rating 4 stars out of 5
Now available on DVD
Rated G

Rotten Tomatoes: 60% fresh

Netflix: 3.8 stars out of 5
IMDb: 6.4 stars out of 10

Wondering why you want to see this teeny-bop Disney flick? Well you probably won’t unless you have a kid. If you have youngsters, then this is the GREASE for their generation and it’s sure to be remembered by them for years to come. Once you rent it, you will likely want to buy it, but be prepared for multiple viewings and lots of sing-alongs.

The DVD is especially nice as it has a karaoke feature where you can watch the DVD and when the musical portions come on, then the words play at the bottom of the screen: a perfect addition for the aspiring actor or actress in your household.

SHARPAY: “We need to save our show from people who don't know the difference between a Tony Award and Tony Hawk.”

Fat Jack's Summer Preview 07

2007-03-26T20:29:00.000-05:00

GRINDHOUSE
In Theaters: April 6, 2007
Rated R
You Must See the Trailer!

Cult fan favorites – Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez – bring what promises to be a bloody good time with GRINDHOUSE. Back from the days of yore when the old movie palaces hosted gruesome and grinding double features of sex and blood, these two directors bring us their version of the non-stop action. Each director presents a 60-minute feature back-to-back with fake trailers in between. Tarantino, a personal favorite of mine, brings us DEATH PROOF and Rodriguez directs PLANET TERROR in one explosive show.

These are meant to be exploitation, B-movies with lots of sex, violence and gore. That should be enough to warn you. Faint at heart and easily offended should steer clear. Those who are cool; however, will want to be sure to catch GRINDHOUSE in the theatre. Don’t wait for it to come out on DVD. I suspect these will be good enough, or bad enough depending on your point of view, to be a part of your personal DVD collection.

DEATH PROOF is a slasher movie with a car as the weapon of choice. PLANET TERROR takes place on an alien planet that is a nice parallel to our own. As the tagline states: “Welcome to the Grindhouse – It’ll tear you in two.”

PATHFINDER

In Theaters: April 20, 2007
Rated R
See the Trailer

From the Apple trailer site: “An action-adventure set in the time when Vikings tried to conquer North America, PATHFINDER tells the heroic story of a young Norse boy left behind after his clan shipwrecks on the Eastern shores. Despite his lineage, the boy is raised by the very Indians his kinsmen set out to destroy. Now, as the Vikings return to stage another barbaric raid on his village, the 25-year-old Norse warrior (Karl Urban) wages a personal war to stop the Vikings’ trail of death and destruction. Forging his own path, his destiny is revealed and his identity re-claimed.

This reminds me of the very cool, but a bit ridiculous Schwarzenegger movie PREDATOR. Based on the trailer, I think you are going to have to suspend your disbelief a lot to enjoy this film. Not necessarily a bad thing, but don’t get bogged down by historical inaccuracies or plausibility. This action-adventure movie is for fun.

JINDABYNE
In Theaters: April 27, 2007
Rated R
See the Trailer

From the Apple Trailers site: “On an annual fishing trip, in isolated high country, Stewart, Carl, Rocco and Billy (“the Kid”) find a girl’s body in the river. It’s too late in the day for them to hike back to the road and report their tragic find. The next morning, instead of making the long trek back, they spend the day fishing. Their decision to stay on at the river is a little mysterious - almost as if the place itself is exerting some kind of magic over them.”

SPIDER-MAN 3

In Theaters: May 2007
Not Yet Rated
See the Trailer

From IMDb: Peter Parker has finally found the balance he's longed for between his love for Mary Jane Watson and his responsibilities as Spider-Man. The city of New York and it's citizens are at last coming around and appreciating everything he has done as his crime-fighting alter ego, and Peter is in the running for a staff job at the Daily Bugle. However, everything Peter has worked for is about to unravel. Flint Marko, while fleeing prison, is caught in an accident that displaces molecules and is transformed into the Sandman, a new super villain who is able to change his body into any shape of sand he sees fit. When Peter learns of a connection between The Sandman and the murder of his uncle, Ben, he will stop at nothing as Spider-Man to capture him; but before Peter can do so he discovers a mysterious black substance has made his suit black, and has brought forth a darker side of Parker and Spidey nobody has seen before. He starts to abandon the ones he loves and forces his best friend Harry Osborn to take up his late father's mantle as The New Goblin. Peter now has to decide which life he wants to lead... the strong-willed hero he once was or the new dark-minded villain that he is becoming. Little does Peter know the black substance has its sights set on somebody else as well, a rival Bugle photographer, and a troubled young man, by the name of Eddie Brock, turning Brock into Venom, a foe Spider-man may be unable to stop.

NANCY DREW In Theaters: May 15, 2007 Rated PG See the Trailer

If you’ve grown up in the last few decades then you’ve no doubt heard of the Nancy Drew books. Young Nancy goes to California with her Daddy and finds herself smack dab in the middle of an unsolved mystery. Go figure. A girl power movie, it would be a great way to get young girls into reading.

DAY WATCH
In Theaters: June 1, 2007
Not Yet Rated
See the Trailer

This is the second film of a Russian horror/fantasy trilogy that began with NIGHT WATCH, which was a hit in the former Soviet Union. Forces of light and darkness come to blows after centuries-long truce. If you like horrors and underground films, then this second installment should be right up your alley.

HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX
In Theaters: July 13, 2007
Not Yet Rated
See the Trailer

Everyone knows this film is coming out. What else is there to say? If you are a fan of the series, then you have already read it and know what’s going to happen. If you haven’t read the books but have watched the movies, you have probably picked up on the fact that Harry is growing older and his world is becoming ever-darker. That was a good move by J.K. Rowling and gives the character real life. This will be the darkest of the movies so far, so beware and have fun.

THE SIMPSONS MOVIE In Theaters: July 27, 2007 Not Yet Rated See the Trailer

The Simpsons finally made it to the big screen. Will this mark the end of the franchise or will it propel them to a new level? Only time will tell. As a Simpsons lover, I am hoping that it is great.

UNDERDOG

In Theaters: August 3, 2007
Not Yet Rated See the Trailer

From the Apple trailer site: “After an accident in the mysterious lab of maniacal scientist Dr. Simon Barsinister (PETER DINKLAGE), an ordinary beagle unexpectedly finds himself with unimaginable powers and the ability to speak. Armed with a fetching superhero costume, UNDERDOG (voiced by comedian JASON LEE) vows to protect the beleaguered citizens of Capitol City and, in particular, one beautiful spaniel named Polly Purebread (voiced by Academy Award nominee AMY ADAMS). When a sinister plot by Barsinister and his overgrown henchman Cad (PATRICK WARBURTON) threatens to destroy Capitol City only UNDERDOG can save the day.”

This is a live action film with cgi. I don’t know what to make of it, but the kids will probably dig it. It can surely lead to a good introduction of the old cartoon to a younger crowd.

Entertainment site- Flixster

2007-03-21T08:48:00.001-05:00

I had a friend send me a link to a new entertainment site. It is called Flixster. It has information about upcoming movies, photos celebrities (No John there is not nudity), news, and a great trivia game. Check them out and let me know what you think.

Mini-Review: "300"

2007-03-19T14:39:00.000-05:00

Review by Fat Jack
My Rating: 4.5 stars out of 5
Rated R

Rotten Tomatoes: 61% Fresh
Netflix: 4.4 stars out of 5
IMDb: 8.2 stars out of 10
Richard Roeper: 4 stars out of 4

What do I say about 300 that hasn’t already been stated? You know it is highly stylized and that it’s by comic book great Frank Miller. This is a man’s movie. It is about all things male: territory, protection, honor and bravado. It is bloody – bloody good, that is.

That isn’t to say that it doesn’t have its problems. It does. If you are a history junkie, then I hear tell that this is not very accurate. There were also a lot of persons with disabilities who were portrayed, as often happens with Hollywood films, as evil, corrupt, beastly, or treacherous. There were more, but most of it has already been talked about.

Spartan King Leonidas: We Spartans have descended from Hercules himself. Taught never to retreat, never to surrender. Taught that death in the battlefield is the greatest glory he could achieve in his life. Spartans – the finest soldiers the world has ever known.

300 As Republican Propaganda?

2007-03-19T14:17:00.000-05:00

The movie wasn’t over and two people out of the group of five, were whispering about conspiracies of the republican propaganda machine. After the movie we continued to debate the issue: Was the movie, 300, a piece of right wing extremist propaganda?

I did not think so then and I defend that position now. Just like V for Vendetta, the story was written well before September 11, 2001. In this case, creator Frank Miller had his comic book published by Dark Horse in May 1998, which garnered him three Eisner Awards.

I do acknowledge that there are very interesting political parallels that can be drawn about the current war in Iraq and the imperialistic President Bush, but to say that this is right wing propaganda is to dismiss the value in the story. It is to miss the point.

Left wing or right, anti-war or pro-war, there are ideologies that are important to understand. The phrase from the movie “Freedom is not free,” may very well have been right out of the Karl Rove playbook. That does not make it conservative propaganda and it does not make it an invalid statement. Karl Rove may indeed be one of the most corrupt men on the planet, but people have died in order to preserve freedom. That may sound like a Martine recruitment mantra geared to take advantage of the uneducated, and it may be. It is also true.

300 was not about President Bush’s war in Iraq, nor was it a movie about joining the Marines. It was about soldiers who were born and bred to fight and defend their country. Boiled down, every man worth his salt loves his family and will do what he can to defend them against the evils of the world. This movie was about universal feeling of protection that every father and husband has. Protection is a genetic instinct, which explains why it grossed $70 million in the first weekend. Men can relate to the feelings that the Spartans held dear.

There are more lessons to be learned here than warmongering or corrupt senates. To see 300 as a mere mouthpiece of political propaganda inspired by the war machine is to miss the point entirely.

Mini-Review "Borat"

2007-03-10T21:53:00.000-06:00

Review by Fat Jack
My Rating: 3.5 stars out of 5
Rated R

Rotten Tomatoes: 90% Fresh
Netflix: 4.4 stars out of 5
IMDb: 7.8 stars out of 10
Roger Ebert: 4 stars out of 4

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan was quite the humorous fakeumentary. Sasha Baron Cohen certainly came up with an interesting character and script, raising the bar for comedies.

If you didn’t already know, it is an offensive piece, but like good comedies, it is humorously offensive to all types of protected groups. The script had a hard time keeping up during the whole of the movie, which is why I gave it a lower rating than it may have deserved. That is not to say that I didn’t laugh. I did. It’s just that toward the end, the writing gave way to the length requirement of a feature film. Still, I would recommend watching it, especially with a group of friends who all have a strong sense of humor.

OXANNA: “What? What? What did say about me, you skinny piece of shit? Why don't you go do something useful and dig your mother a grave, you tall piece of shit!”

BORAT: “We support your war of terror.”

BORAT: “Although Kazakhstan a glorious country, it have a problem, too: economic, social, and Jew.”

300 is Not to be Missed

2007-03-06T16:37:00.000-06:00

You do not want to miss this film. Based on the epic graphic novel by Frank Miller, 300 is a ferocious retelling of the ancient Battle of Thermopylae in which King Leonidas (Gerard Butler) and 300 Spartans fought to the death against Xerxes and his massive Persian army. Facing insurmountable odds, their valor and sacrifice inspire all of Greece to unite. It opens on March 9. It should be a bloody good time, but don’t take the kiddies. This is not meant for them. I won’t have a chance to see it opening weekend and that next week I will be taking midterm exams. So I will plan on catching it over Spring break (march 16-25). Sounds like a great boys night out to me.

Mini-Review "The Protector"

2007-03-05T12:33:00.000-06:00

Review by Fat Jack
My Rating 1 stars out of 5
Rated R

Rotten Tomatoes: 52% rotten

Netflix: 3.6 stars out of 5
IMDb: 6.9 stars out of 10

I am a big fan of martial arts movies, not so much for the plots but for the action and adventure. I love good martial arts, and Tony Jaa is able to deliver that without the use of wirefu. Even I didn’t care much for this. The plot was just so ridiculous and half-hearted that it ruined the rest of the film and that says a lot as most karate flicks are not that plot driven.

Even Tony Jaa’s gymkata was not good enough to make this an enjoyable movie. His last flick, Ong Bak: The Tai Warrior was an explosive and interesting bit of film. It was great and it really showed off his tai boxing prowess. Not so with The Protector. Don’t bother unless you are drunk. It might be okay then … maybe.

KHAM: You killed my father, and you stole my elephant!

Mini-Review: "Jesus Camp"

2007-03-04T17:52:00.000-06:00

Review by Fat Jack

My Rating 4 stars out of 5
Rated PG-13

Rotten Tomatoes: 87% fresh
Netflix: 3.8 stars out of 5
IMDb: 7.4 stars out of 10

Jesus Camp is about the current Evangelical Christian movement. Specifically, the documentary shows how the movement teaches-indoctrinates-brainwashes children into the fold. I say “teach-indoctrinate-brainwash” because each word could be correct depending on your own point of view. The focus of the camp is on children, and the administration and parents push hard for their children to be saved, many of which are saved at very young ages (as young as 5 years old). The kids are told to be ready and willing to lay down their lives for Christ. They take the children out and encourage them to stop strangers on the street and try to convert them. Actually I should say they celebrate the fact that God speaks directly to the children and it is God that encourages the children to convert the strangers.

Jesus Camp promotes the speaking in tongues and hearing the word of God speaking to you about every issue, including how well you bowl at the bowling alley. Children frequently cry during the ministry because of their own sins. This happens over and over during the camp experience, which makes me wonder: How many sins is a 10-year-old committing while at a Christian Camp, that they would need so much forgiveness? It is an interesting film. Certainly, there is strong connections between religion and politics and the impact of the Evangelical Christian movement in this film.

BECKY FISCHER: “It's no wonder, with that kind of intense training and discipline, that those young people are ready to kill themselves for the cause of Islam. I wanna see young people who are as committed to the cause of Jesus Christ as the young people are to the cause of Islam. I wanna see them as radically laying down their lives for the Gospel as they are over in Pakistan and Israel and Palestine and all those different places, you know, because we have... excuse me, but we have the truth!”

BECKY FISCHER (Referring to President George Bush): “He has really brought some real credibility, um, to the Christian faith.”

Click here for the trailer.

FAT JACK Oscar Still Up For Grabs

2007-02-25T23:15:00.000-06:00

Sophie shows off this year's FAT JACK Oscar.

We have a three way tie for the FAT JACK Oscar. Kathy, Stacy and Linda all have predicted 12 winners. So we go to an Oscar history question to find the winner of this year's Oscar. This year's winner was Kathy with 12 correct predictions! Larry Litle won the second prize for the worse predictions this year with only six correct predictions. Even the 6-year-old beat Larry; she predicted nine winners.

UPDATE: Upon further review, the FAT JACK Oscar Committee has decided that FAT JACK, his wife, daughter or affiliates thereof, are not eligible to receive the FAT JACK Oscar. Therefore, there is a two-way tie between friends Stacy and Linda. The FJ Oscar Committee will compile a quiz of Oscar history material that each candidate will fill out. She who answer the largest number of quiz questions correct will be the official winner of:

The FJ Oscar
Spaceballs on DVD (gently used)

The FJ Oscar Committee regrets any confusion or heartache this might have caused.

Sincerely,
Jack

79th Oscar Night Festivities

2007-02-25T19:12:00.000-06:00

11:13 p.m.
BEST PICTURE
The Departed
Could have blown me over. I really didn't expect The Departed to win both Director and Best Picture.

11:07 p.m.
DIRECTOR
Martin Scorcese, The Departed
No big surprise here. Scorcese has never won an Academy Award and it is about time he won one. I don't really know that he actually won for The Departed. As the Academy often does, they give awards out to people for works that they should have won for. I am happy for Scorcese. He deserves an Oscar.

11:02 p.m.
ACTOR -- LEADING
Forest Whitaker

ACTRESS -- LEADING
Helen Mirren, The Queen
I'm really glad that Streep didn't get the award. The Devil Wears Prada was a fine enough movie for a Saturday afternoon rental, but it was not, in any way, Oscar Worthy. It was much ado about veyr little.

Phillip Seymour Hoffman has never seen a comb. I swear that guy couldn't brush his hair if his life depended on it.

FILM EDITING
The Departed

ORIGINAL SONG
"I need to wake up", by Melissa Ethridge
An Inconvenient Truth

They didn't use enough titty tape on poor Jennifer Hudson; a bit of her bra was showing, bless her heart. Someone is getting fired.

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Little Miss Sunshine

ORIGINAL SCORE
Babel

We've decided that as a group, with one dissenting vote, that we do not like Celion Dion, most of us for different reasons. I don't like her French bitchiness. Paul doesn't like her fakeness. Stacy decided that her chin is too pointy for her short forehead. And her breast, we all decided that her breasts were trully pittiful.

You may be wondering why I don't mention the special Oscars that are given out. I don't know, really. I just don't care about those too much so I don't mess with them.

DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
An Inconvenient Truth
Seinfeld's little diatribe on movie theatres was too funny and his crack about the depressingness of the films in this category was also humerous. Friend Larry, a self-proclaimed conservative, proclaimed that he was an evangelical Christian. That is a label that he usually decries, but tonight he lumped himself in that group. We both thought Jesus Camp would win. So the next time he complains about being lumped into the crazy evangelical Christian group, then you can remind him of his proclamation at 9:50 p.m.

DOCUMENTARY SHORT
The Blood of Yingzhou District

SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Jennifer Hudson
The American Idol contestant has made a career for herself. I really didn't think she would win an Oscar, but she proved me wrong. Good for her.

Holy Crap! That whole dance routine with Ellen and Snakes on a Plane was bad ass.

FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
The Lives of Others
Another huge upset. We all picked Pan's Labyrinth as a sure win in this category.

VISUAL EFFECTS
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

Naomi Watts and Robert Downey Jr. introduced Best Visual Effects. I didn't know Downey would be sober enough to do it.

Palabus (sp?) just did a dance routine where they acted out the Little Miss Sunshine bus and the girl running behind.

CINEMATOGRAPHY
Pan's Labyrinth

Now Ellen has changed into a white tuxedo, which also looks very nice. Her bit where she made Steven Spielberg take a snap shot of her with Clint Eastwood for her My Space page was hysterical. She is doing a great job.

BEST COSTUME DESIGN
Marie Antoinette
Another dress with a bow, this one on her chest. For the love of God. Bows do not make a dress better, unless the wearer is 8 years old.

8:51 p.m.
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
The Departed

ANIMATED FEATURE
Happy Feet
That was a real upset. We all voted for Cars. What is Hollywood's hard on with penguins? I just don't get it.

We just finished watching, during the commercials, the movie Grindhouse by Tarantino and Rodriguez. Now that is some kind of double feature.

The Academy Awards have gone green. You can go to oscar.com to find out more. Al Gore and Leonardo DiCaprio announced this.

The dance troupe Polabolous (sp?) rocks the house. That is a remarkable, sculptoural, artistic performance. Amazing. They came to Springfield once, according to friends, Monty and Stacy. I wish I hadn't missed that. If they come again, tne I am all over that.

Okay, at this point in the night, my wife and I have decided that we need to see some movies: Apocalypto, Little Children and the live action short, West Bank Story. I am heading to Netflix at the next commercial break.

SUPPORTING ACTOR
Alan Arkin, Little Miss Sunshine

BEST SOUND MIXING
Dreamgirls

BEST SOUND EDITING
Letters from Iwo Jima

The Sound Effects Choir was really cool, making all those sound effects to those movies with just their voices. Impressive.

8: 05 p.m.
Whoa! Jack Nicholson went cue ball. Good for him. FAT JACK loves that shaved look.

LIVE ACTION SHORT
West Bank Story

That Abagail Breslin from Little Miss Sunshine is one really cute kid.
ANIMATED SHORT
The Danish Poet

ACHIEVEMENT IN MAKEUP
Pan's Labyrinth

I don't know what Nicole Kidman was thinking wearing that head pillow on the shoulder of her dress. Crazy. What is wrong with people wearing big old bows on their butts and bodies?

ART DIRECTION
Pan's Labyrinth

7:40 p.m.
So far Ellen is a funny host.

7:30 p.m. -- The Oscars Begins
The beginning montage was very cool. What will Ellen wear, a dress or a tuxedo? It's a tux! It's a tux. Maroon velvet tux with white shoes. Good for her.

Paul is an idiot. Tonight we talked about the movie, 300, and Paul asked what it was. We are planning a guys night out to go and watch that.

The majority of us (60%) voted for The Departed for Best Director. Thirty percent voted for Letters from Iwo Jima and 10% voted for United 93. For my part, I think that the time has come for Martin Scorcese to win Best Director. Besides, Eastwood has one two in a row and I don't see him winning another one.

7:16 p.m.
Cameron Diaz needs to go back to being a blonde.

6:30 p.m.
Friends in attendance at our party:
Paul and Linda
Monty and Stacy and child
Larry and Michelle and child
Shad and Woodchuck Draft Cider

I will offer updates throughout the night, so keep checking back.

FAT JACK's Thoughts on the Nominees

2007-02-25T11:41:00.000-06:00

I am in school. Balancing a graduate program and a family leaves little time for anything else including movies. So I have not seen most of the Oscar nominees this year, much to my chagrin. I am not even going to bother trying to predict the winners on this blog. However, I will share my thoughts on the movies that I have seen and the ones that I really want to see.

PAN’S LABYRINTH
I was lucky enough to catch this little gem at The Moxie a couple of weeks ago. It is captivating and disturbing, beautiful and treacherous too.

JESUS CAMP
My wife and I both really regret the fact that we didn’t get to see this and I forgot to add it to my Netflix queue before the Oscars. We love documentaries and this is right up our alley. We are Christians, my little family, yet we are not a part of the evangelical movement that is ripping through our country. We would probably fall into the category of liberal Christian. That is we believe in love as the driving force behind Christianity, as opposed to the emotional rape and pillaging of many so-called Christian groups and movements of the day.

So this interesting and provocative film really peaked our interest. It is important to understand how many Christians are being led astray – brainwashed – by the corruption of the church. We are anxious to see this one. If my mind serves me correctly, the church camp featured in this film shut down not long after this film came out. I don’t remember where I heard that, so don’t take it for truth.

OUR TWO FAVORITES THIS YEAR
Little Miss Sunshine and An Inconvenient Truth are two of our favorites that we saw this year. Little Miss Sunshine was a breath of fresh air amidst a sea of same old same old films that Hollywood puts out. An Inconvenient Truth was very interesting and opened our eyes. Up until this point neither of us had really followed all the global warming pandering that had been going on: It’s real; it’s not real. This documentary clears that up pretty well.

APOCALYPTO
This is a film, despite it’s nefarious director, that I want to see. I enjoy films of different cultures and I think the Mayans are very interesting. Their technological advances and warmongering make for an interesting history lesson. I love the fact that it is in original language. We are not ones to shy away from subtitles.

THE GREAT WAR
Both Flags of our Fathers and Letters from Iwo Jima appear to be films that shouldn’t be missed. I am a bit skeptical based on the ridiculously over-hyped praise of Clint Eastwood’s last winner, Million Dollar Baby. Anyone that knows much about disability could drive trucks through the holes in that films storyline, but Hollywood didn’t care about that.

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MAN’S CHEST
This was not as good as its predecessor, but it was fun in its own right. It’s a movie based on a Disney ride for goodness sakes. How seriously can it be taken? It made for a great Saturday afternoon movie rental.

I seriously doubt I will be able to watch many of the films this year. Many of them can’t be watched with a 6-year-old running around and by the time she goes to sleep it is either time to clean the house, study or sleep.

The Academy Awards is This Sunday Night

2007-02-24T10:26:00.000-06:00

Sunday night is the Academy Awards, an event that our family never misses. My wife and I have been watching the Oscars for years and we have hosted an Academy Awards Party for the past several years. Nothing fancy mind you. We don’t get fancied up and we don’t come in costume either, although we have entertained both ideas seriously. We just have a small group of movie-loving friends over to watch the show.

This year snuck up on us as my wife and daughter were sick all last week and I just lost track of time. So today I am rushing around a bit to get things ready. I didn’t even get to send out real invitations this year; I just sent out emails. Oh well.

I hope to post some interesting tidbits about the event as the night unfolds right here on INCONCEIVABLE. So check back that night to see what’s happening.

I don’t know how you could not have already known, but just in case you didn’t, the host for this year’s event is Ellen DeGeneres. I suspect she will be very funny and a great host. She promises to give all kinds of inside, backstage gossip on her show the next day.

Click here to download a printable Oscar ballot.
Click here to see Oscars featured movie quotes of all time.

Show-Me International Film Festival

2007-02-23T08:46:00.000-06:00

Butter my butt and call me a biscuit.

I'm a bit late coming out with the news. School sometimes gets in the way of blogging. This week is the second annual Show-Me International Film Festival, held here in Springfield. We are very lucky to have such an endeavor and I should have reported on it earlier.

Springfield's GO Magazine had a great article on the all the goings-on with the festival, including a comprehensive schedule of events. There will be films, forums, workshops and the opportunity to meet filmmakers.

My friend, MC at Entertain Me, is one of this year's judges. He has a blog post on the event as well. He's a much better film blogger than I.

Mini-Review: "Pan's Labyrinth

2007-02-13T15:26:00.000-06:00

Review by Fat Jack
My Rating 5 stars out of 5

Rotten Tomatoes: 96% Fresh
Netflix: 4.4 stars out of 5
IMDb: 8.5 stars out of 10
Roger Ebert: 4 stars out of 4

Dan, the co-owner of The Moxie (Springfield’s only independent movie theatre) introduced the film as having mind-searing violence. He was right. This may be a fairytale, but it is an grown-up fairytale, leaving the reality of a happy ending up to the filmgoer. It is a cold and cruel world – an idea, which is aptly applied through the character of the Captain. He is concerned about little except producing progeny and dying honorably on the battlefield, and all his actions push him toward those goals. His utter disregard for anyone or anything is expertly dramatized by actor Sergio Lopez.

Young Ofelia travels with her pregnant mother to live with new father and husband, Captain Vidal. Ofelia wants no part of it. Once in the encampment, she realizes the world around her is full of death and pain. She soon discovers Pan’s Labyrinth. Pan being the name of the faun she encounters. He tells her a fairytale about a long lost princess of the underground world and suggests that she is the princess found. In order to discover this world, she must first complete three tasks.

The movie is not about the fairytale world, but rather about the journey toward this new land -- a metaphor for Heaven. Her path makes her interact with the Captain’s cruel hunt for the resistance soldiers hiding in the forest, where there is constant war and hatred. Inside the Captains camp there are members of the resistance wreaking havok.

The beauty of Pan’s Labyrinth is in the deep expression of director Guillermo del Toro, who has a tendency to create horror-dramas. It is a stunning work, full of beauty and darkness with an interesting story devoid of any typical Hollywood ending. It is a fairytale for adults, but one that is worth seeing.

CAPTAIN VIDAL: You could have obeyed me!
THE DOCTOR: But captain, to obey - just like that - for obedience's sake... without questioning... That's something only people like you do. [Captain Vidal shoots him].

CAPTAIN VIDAL: Tell my son the time his father died. Tell him I...
MERCEDES: No. He won't even know your name.

MERCEDES: You won't be the first pig I've gutted.

Mini-Review: The Devil Wears Prada

2007-01-06T10:26:00.000-06:00

Review by FAT JACK
My Rating: 4 stars out of 5

Rotten Tomatoes: 77% Fresh
Roger Ebert: 2 stars out of 4
Netflix: 3.7 stars out of 5
IMDb: 6.7 stars out of 10

I expected this movie to get a higher rating than it did from the critics. For anyone who’s played the role of Satan’s cabana boy with their boss will be able to relate to this entertaining flick. Meryl Streep had a great time playing this role, and she certainly had Martha Stewart in mind the entire time. I understand the plot and sympathize. I’ve played the part myself and worked for the devil in order to get a better job. I did and then moved on to bigger and better things. I learned a lot about myself and the world around me, and for that I am eternally grateful. Our heroine learned a thing or two as well. The experience changed her, for a time, into someone she ultimately could not live with. I suppose my being able to relate to that increased my enjoyment of this movie. I found it worth watching.

Review: Lady in the Water

2007-01-06T10:24:00.000-06:00

Review by FAT JACK
My Rating: 3 stars out of 5

Rotten Tomatoes: 24% Rotten
Roger Ebert: 1.5 stars out of 4
Netflix: 3.3 stars out of 5
IMDb: 6.2 stars out of 10

You can tell by the ratings above that this movie was not well received -- not at all. I don’t understand why. This wasn’t M. Night Shayamalan’s finest film, not by any stretch, but it was an interesting movie. Seems that most everyone holds his movies up to the “Sixth Sense” and I think that is ultimately the problem for the writer-director. Everyone loved his horror flick so much, that they are salivating for more and Shayamalan refuses to deliver a hack job on his previous work. I give him kudos for not falling prey to the idiots who just want another “Sixth Sense 2”. I thought Lady in the Water was an intriguing bedtime story. Not that they were not problems with it. There were.

First of all it was billed as a horror film in the trailers. Big mistake. It makes people expect something other than what it is. I knew that ahead of time, which helped me. I didn’t have any false hopes for the movie. I also think that Shayamalan’s performance was a bit wooden and restricted. I kept recognizing him and it took me out of the film, something you do not ever want to do, especially for this film. It was a stretch to suspend the disbelief at times. I maintained mine, but I can see how failing expectations could combine here to make for a bad movie going experience. There were scenes of comedy, which worked fine for the most part. There was one that stood out as going too far. The movie critic faces off with the scrat and he offers too much in the way of direct dialogue. It’s an attempt to interject some comedy, but it ruins the mood. Too much comedy is bad comedy and Shayamalan has yet to learn how to write good comedy.

Other than that, I enjoyed the quirkiness of the film and how it bordered on the surreal. I choose that word because in the real world, one might argue that people would not act the way the do in this film. They would not so readily believe or be sucked into the situation. Of course if you follow the fairy tale, you discover that is the beauty of the story. People who are meant to be play a part in the story, are inexplicably drawn to the apartment complex and to each other. That is the beginning of the theme of the movie.

My mother taught my Sunday School class when I was a teenager. The overriding message was this: God uses ordinary people to do extraordinary things.” That use of the ordinary to do something extraordinary is what this bedtime story is all about. It is a fairy tale after all and as all good fairy tales require, it is supposed to teach the audience something. If you keep in mind that it is a fairy tale, then you may just get the movie and enjoy it for what it is and what it is supposed to be.

By the way, this story is based on a bedtime story that Shayamalan made up and told his children. He turned the story into a children’s book by the same name. It was after the book publication that he developed the movie, which is significantly different than the book.

Mini-Review: Night at the Museum

2007-01-06T10:22:00.000-06:00

Review by FAT JACK
My Rating: 3.5 stars out of 5

Rotten Tomatoes: 46% Rotten
Netflix: 3.9 stars out of 5
IMDb: 6.5 stars out of 10

Not a movie that has received much critical acclaim, but a movie that was a lot of fun for the family. Seems most folks have not really cared for it, but we enjoyed it for what it was supposed to do. I didn’t expect anything spectacular from Ben Stiller over his typical shtick. I assumed there would be lots of physical comedy, a basic plot, sarcasm, and a simplistic dilemma that is overcome and wrapped up in the end. That’s exactly what I got. For that I don’t really see why everyone is so hard on this movie. It’s entertaining. What did people expect? I expected it to be simplistic fun, like a trip to Silver Dollar City. I’ve been on those rides a thousand times. There’s nothing new about Fire in the Hole, but I still ride it – for my daughter and for me.

Mini-Review: Clerks 2

2007-01-06T10:20:00.000-06:00

Review by FAT JACK
My Rating: 3 stars out of 5

Rotten Tomatoes: 63% Rotten
Netflix: 3.8 stars out of 5
BrandonCrain Blog: 8 out of 10

There are some big differences between the two Clerks films and most of those differences are in favor of the original. There are minor things as well, such as the use of color in the second film, but those are inconsequential. The first film utilized what Kevin Smith does well, and that is write compelling dialogue in the league of Quentin Tarantino and the writers of Seinfeld. Interesting and engaging dialogue is hard to write, especially when that dialogue does not push the plot along. Smith did that flawlessly in the first film, but Clerks 2 somehow falls prey to the same thing that plagues the entire film. It is forced. That does not mean that there is not excellent dialogue in this film. There are short burst of it. One little gem is the whole Trilogy v. Trilogy issue that is speckled throughout. The argument between which trilogy rules, Lord of the Rings versus Star Wars, is ecstasy. I had been warned about this ahead of time and I found it as entertaining as any piece of dialogue in the Clerks franchise. Genius to be sure. I am left wishing that the rest of the dialogue had been this funny.

To continue with the problematic theme, the acting felt forced too. It appeared that they were trying too hard to make Clerks again, to touch into that edgy vein, and the fact that the actors cared so much showed on the screen and took away from the film. Replacing it was a hackneyed attempt to simply gross us out, rather than show us the characters. Not that I mind the whole donkey thing. I’ve heard those stories about what goes on in Mexico. But somehow the portrayal didn’t ring true. Some of Jay and Silent Bob’s diatribes were choppy and simplistic, even for them. The Silence of the Lambs spoof was hysterical, or it would have been had they not shown that in the trailers. By the time it hit my screen it was old hat.

All in all, I guess I enjoyed Clerks 2 but not as much as I should have. Just so we are clear, Lord of the Rings is a much higher quality trilogy than Star Wars. The acting is better, the special effects are incredible and the plot is rich.

Mini-Review: Superman Returns

2007-01-06T10:17:00.000-06:00

Review by FAT JACK
My Rating: 2 stars out of 5

Larry of INCONCEIVABLE: B+
Bryan of INCONCEIVABLE: 4.5 stars out of 5
Rotten Tomatoes: 76% Rotten
Roger Ebert: 2 stars out of 4
Netflix: 3.7 stars out of 5
IMDb: 7 stars out of 10
Entertain Me: B
BrandonCrain Blog: 6 out of 10

This is a movie that I was looking forward to, but my expectations were pretty low based on the reviews that I’ve read about it. The script was poor and the writing was full of too many holes to even bother writing about. There was real potential for a great movie. All I can say is that the producers must have been passing about kryptonite martinis during the entire production. Come on. He swims under water and picks up an entire island laced with kryptonite? The only really cool thing was the bullet hitting Superman’s eye and bouncing off, but we saw that in the trailers. Too bad.

Mini-Review: Pirates of the Caribbean -- Dead Man's Chest

2007-01-06T10:12:00.000-06:00

Review by FAT JACK
My Rating: 3 stars out of 5

Rotten Tomatoes: 54% Rotten
Netflix: 3.9 stars out of 5
IMDb: 7.3 stars out of 10
Entertain Me: B

A bit darker and less funny, Dead Man’s Chest was still fun. I would have preferred it to have more comedy. The cgi was wonderful and I loved the fact that we didn’t see all of the Kraken. The plot was a bit convoluted at times and rushed, but it was fun nonetheless. Just not as fun as the first.

Movies I Should Not Have Missed

2006-12-31T11:56:00.000-06:00

In 2006, there were a lot of good movies such as Little Miss Sunshine, which the reviewers at INCONCEIVABLE predicted would be a hit independent movie. FAT JACK neglected to see it, but got it for Christmas, so it will only be time before I can watch it and offer my own review of it. There were a few others that I missed this year that you may not have heard of, but that had real potential. I have added them to my Netflix queue and will get to when I can. Especially, Pan’s Labyrinth. That has received wonderful reviews and after watching the trailer, I can't wait to see it. I love martial arts films, so those are always on my list, even if they aren't great films. As for Renaissance, it just looks so interesting to me. I love independent and art house films. The question is, what did you miss this year that you wish you had seen?

Pan’s Labyrinth
Rated R
Thriller
(see the trailer and official site)

Rotten Tomatoes: 99% Fresh
Roger Ebert: 4 stars out of 4
Netflix: 4.3 stars out of 5
IMDb: 8.3 stars out of 10

Jet Li’s Fearless
Rated PG-13
Martial Arts -- Action-Adventure
(see the trailer and official site)

Rotten Tomatoes: 73% Fresh
Netflix: 4 stars out of 5
IMDb: 7.7 stars out of 10

Curse of the Golden Flower
Not yet rated
Martial Arts – Foreign
(see the trailer and official site)

Rotten Tomatoes: 61% Fresh
Netflix: 3.7 stars
IMDb: 7.1 stars out of 10

Renaissance
Rated R
Science Fiction
(see the trailer and official site)

Rotten Tomatoes: 42% Rotten
Netflix: 3.2 Stars
IMDb: 6.9 stars out of 10

Movies To See in 2007 (first six months)

2006-12-31T10:18:00.000-06:00

With the new year comes a new film season and there are several good potentials on the horizon. I’ve picked a few that I think will be worth seeing for one reason or another. This pre-view only covers the first half of the year and is split into categories. I haven’t included any storyline information. Watch the trailers and if you find you need more information from there, then you can go find it yourself. I’m too busy. The only thing I want to point out is that “The Hitcher” is a remake and we all know how those go. “Evan Almighty” is a sequel to “Bruce Almighty”.

FAMILY

Happily N’ever After
January 5, 2007
Rated PG
Animated – Family
(see the trailer and official site)

Arthur and the Invisibles
January 12, 2007
Not yet rated
Animated – Family
(see the trailer and official site)

Ratatouille
(rat a-too-ee)
Summer 2007
Not yet rated
Animated – Family
(see the trailer and official site)

Action-Adventure

Spider Man 3
May 2007
Not yet rated
Comic Book -- Action-Adventure
(see the trailer and official site)

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
June 15, 2007
Rated PG-13
Action-Adventure
(see the trailer and official site)

Transformers
July 4, 2007
Not yet rated
Action-Adventure
(see the trailer and official site)

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
July 13, 2007
Not yet rated
Action-Adventure
(see the trailer and official site)

COMEDY

Epic Movie
January 26, 2007
Rated Not yet rated
Comedy
(see the trailer and official site)

Norbit
Februrary 2007
Not yet rated
Comedy
(see the trailer and official site)

Balls of Fury
April 27, 2007
Rated PG-13
Comedy
(see the trailer and official site)

The Simpsons Movie
July 27, 2007
Not yet rated
Animated
(see the trailer and official site)

Evan Almighty
Summer 2007
Not yet rated
Comedy
(see the trailer and official site)

DRAMA

300
March 9, 2007
Rated R
Bloody Drama
(see the trailer and official site)

Premonition
March 27, 2007
Not yet rated
Drama
(see the trailer and official site)

THRILLER

The Hitcher
January 19, 2007
Rated R
Thriller
(see the trailer and official site)

The Invisible
January 26, 2007
Rated R
Thriller
(see the trailer and official site)

Primeval
April 13, 2007
Rated R
Thriller
(see the trailer and official site)

Movie Review- The Santa Clause 3

2006-11-16T20:59:00.000-06:00

Over the weekend, I took my daughter to see The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause. We went with Bryan and his family. It was a fun time of going out and enjoying a movie with friends. This is a winning movie with my daughter. It appeared to be enjoyed by Bryan's kids. Any movie that has Santa as the hero this near to Christmas is bound to be popular with the young ones.

The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause revolves around the relationship of Santa and his opening act- Jack Frost. Frost wants the fame that Santa has. He is assigned to Santa to assist him since Santa has a baby on the way. Santa also has to deal with his in-laws and story that they are actually in Canada, Eh! This gives Frost a chance to cause mischief and plot how he can become Santa.

Jack Frost is played by Martin Short. He plays Frost as your stereotypical over the top villain of a melodrama. He is very funny in this role but it nothing more than a chilly Dastardly Dan.

This movie had it moments as a comedy. Tim Allen delivered some classic Santa moments. There were laughs but not as many as I hoped.

This movie is a typical third movie in a series. It is not as good as the first two. The first Santa Clause was a great take on the Santa Claus story. The second one was not as good but a fun movie. This movie was just a notch below the second one.

I give this movie a C+. My five year old daughter would probably give it an A. It was worth seeing just to see my daughter enjoy it so much.

Other Reviews:
IMDB User Rating: 2.8 / 10
Rotten Tomatoes- Rotten- 13%
Rotten Tomatoes- Rotten- 44%
Coming Soon- 50%
IFilm 3 out of 5 stars

Best Quotes:
Jack Frost: You're not Santa anymore. You're just a guy who smells like a cookie.

Mother Nature: [From Trailer] You are both willful and malicious!
Jack Frost: Did you just accuse me of being skillful and delicious?

Scott Calvin: Give me a status report.
Curtis, the Experimental Elf: Your pants are on fire.
Scott Calvin: ...Yes they are.

New Poll- Best Matrix Quote

2006-10-26T21:13:00.000-05:00

The phenom movie the Matrix is our latest quote poll. There are a lot of memorable lines from this movie. Check out the quotes and vote for the best one. Did I miss one? If so, let me know.

It is the Airplane quote... and stop calling me Shirley!

2006-10-26T21:09:00.000-05:00

Here is the winning quote from Airplaine!:

Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious.
Rumack: I am serious... and don't call me Shirley.

Coming in a close second is:

Elaine Dickinson: There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?

Love this movie.

Stranger Than Fiction!

2006-10-26T10:45:00.000-05:00

I just read a great review of a new movie. The review is on Ain't It Cool News and is entitled: Massawyrm Loves STRANGER THAN FICTION!! Stranger Than Fiction, which opens 11-10-06, is a Will Ferrell movie with a lot of buzz. It also stars Dustin Hoffman, Queen Latifah, and Emma Thompson.

This movie is not your typical comedy with Will Ferrell. According to the article, this movie is "One of those uncommon comedies that manages to transcend the genre and enter Oscar level territory (an award rarely offered to comedies) this film sets itself apart from the very beginning." This movie is directed by Marc Forster, of Monster’s Ball and Finding Neverland fame.

In the Fantasy Moguls game, I was able to pick this movie as my third round pick. I love this pick after reading this review. I am hopeful that the great reviews and Oscar hype continue. Check out the movie review above. Then check out the trailer here. If it intrigues you as much as it does me, make sure to put this on your must see movie list. After all, it is not just about seeing a quality movie that is getting Oscar buzz (that I did not start but I am perpetuating) but also about my fantasy team.

Movie Review- The Guardian

2006-10-16T13:03:00.000-05:00

I went and viewed The Guardian in the theature. I attended with a group of friends from work. I had a great time but it had very little to do with this movie.

This movie stars Kevin Costner and Ashton Kutcher. Costner plays Ben Randall, a Coast Guard rescue diver. Kutcher is a hotshot diver want to be that is in Costner's class. Randall is a brooding instructor very similar to Gunny Highway (Clint Eastwood) in Heartbreak Ridge. Kutcher is a combination of Zack Mayo (Richard Gere) from An Officer and a Gentleman and Maverick (Tom Cruise) from Top Gun.

If the characters were the only retreads and not also the plot, then this movie might have been good. Unfortunately, they stole all of the major plots points from other movies. According to Greg, one of my friends I saw it with, "It is a cookie cutter movie of several others." An Officer and a Gentleman is copied a lot but it is not as good. There are definite scenes out of Top Gun in this film. It is a typical- "Yeah for our Armed Service Branch" movie. This one specializes on the Coast Guard.

The acting was not bad. There are scenes where Ashton Kutcher demonstrates some great talent that I did not know existed. It is almost worth the price of admission to see his acting growth. Sela Ward adds some other dramatic scenes being Randall's wife.

The women in my group of friends seemed to like this movie better than the men. There are a lot of scenes with no shirts and 6 pack abs that seem to get their attention. There are no such scenes that grab the male attention span. It reminded me of the Volleyball scene in Top Gun. If only there was Cool Fighter Jets flying around to distract us.

This movie was not horrible. I would not pay full price or even matinee price for it (which we did). It is a decent cheap movie or rental. I give it a solid C+. Most of this is for Kutcher's new found acting ability.

Here is what other reviews have to say:
IMDB Users Rating: 6.5/10
Rotten Tomatoes Critics- 37% -Rotten
Rotten Tomatoes Users- 80% -Fresh
E Online Review- C+

Fantasy Moguls

2006-10-11T22:44:00.000-05:00

Do you like watching movies? Do you think you know what movies will be hits and what movies will be flops? Do you think you can out smart 7 other movie buffs? If so, then check out Fantasy Moguls. This is similar to fantasy baseball and football but with new movie releases. Here is what they say about themselves.

"FantasyMoguls.com is a fantasy game for Hollywood movies. Like Fantasy Football but here you draft movies that will be released during the Holiday Movie Season!You get points based on things like box office and review score. "

You can go to their site and sign up for a league. Leagues are free. There is a simple and a more complex version of the game. As a fantasy sports geek, this brings the fun of fantasy sports to a new group of individuals that may not be into sports. I think this will be a huge hit. Check it out and get a group to play.

The Sequel to the Dark Crystal is coming.

2006-10-11T21:17:00.000-05:00

The Power of the Dark Crystal is coming. This is the sequel to the cult Henson Classic- The Dark Crystal. MTV Movie News has the story on this upcoming movie.

Here is an excerpt from the article:

"The 'Power' script continues the tale of elfin heroes Jen and Kira, last seen returning the shard to the evil crystal and seemingly abolishing the vulture-like Skeksis from their land. Set many years after the first flick, "Power" casts Jen and Kira as king and queen, now overseeing a kingdom whose peace is disturbed by a visit from the underground-dwelling U-mun people. After the Gelflings refuse their request for a shard of crystal that could preserve the U-mun race, a desperate visitor takes it anyway, threatening their world with another thousand years of chaos."

The Dark Crystal is a wonderful but dark movie. It is a great fantasy adventure with monsters and chaos. There is an edge to the puppetry that really resonated with me. Some of the scenes are still very haunting.

I can not wait to see what the technological advances add to this style of movie. The original was limited by the technology of the day for puppeteering. We will see if they can duplicate the dark eerie fantasy style of the first.

Movie Review- End of the Spear

2006-10-10T12:02:00.000-05:00

I recently watched the independent film: End of the Spear on DVD. This movie is based on the true story of 5 young missionaries that are killed in the jungles of Ecuador in 1956. These men are trying to find and then communicate with the Wadani tribe. This tribe is a very violent tribe that is constantly killing each other for revenge and they are about to extinct themselves with there behavior. The movie flows back and forth from the missionaries and their families to tribe members who do not trust the foreigners. It focuses the characters of Steve Saint (son of Nate Saint- Missionary) and Mincayani, leader of a clan of the Wadani tribe.

This movie was extremely well done. It is not an over the top Christian movie but rather a very well done movie that does not shy away from the missionaries beliefs. It is one of the best dramas that I have seen in a long time. There are moments of actions and exploring of the tribe and their vengeful tendencies.

15 years ago, I personally met Elisabeth Elliot. She was the wife of one of the Missionaries, Jim Elliot. I was initially interested in this movie because it was telling of the story of how Jim and the other missionaries died and how the wives actually were able to befriend this tribe. It is an amazing true story. I am unsure of how many creative liberties were taken with this movie.

I recommended this movie. It was an excellent movie but is not suitable for all ages. I give this movie an A-.

Other Reviews:
IMDB User Review: 6.8 stars out of Ten
Rotten Tomatoes: Users- 70% - Fresh 6.9/ 10
Rotten Tomatoes: Critics- 41% -Rotten, 5.3/ 10
E Online- Users- A-
E Online- Critics- C

Airplane! Newest quote poll

2006-10-10T11:18:00.000-05:00

The movie Airplane! has a ton of great quotes. Airplane! is this week's movie quote poll. Pick your favorite and let us know what the best quote of this hysterical comedy is.

Results from the Princess Bride poll.

2006-09-26T17:13:00.000-05:00

I had this post written a couple of weeks ago. I was trying to get some information from by Bryan and Jack about the next poll. Since then, the winning Quote has changed.

Here is the winning quote from The Princess Bride.

Vizzini: "HE DIDN'T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE!"
Inigo Montoya: "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

The quote that would have won two weeks ago is:

Miracle Max: "Have fun stormin' da castle."
Valerie: "Think it'll work?"
Miracle Max: "It would take a miracle."

Both are great quotes that I used on a regular basis. You can not go wrong with either quote as the top quote of this classic movie.

I should be back to loading a new list of quotes weekly.

Fall Season Line-Up For Grown-Ups

2006-09-04T16:47:00.000-05:00

“FACTOTUM”

Now Playing in Select Theatres
Rated R
See the Trailer

This film is written by one of my favorite writers, Charles Bukowski, and is actually quite autobiographical. I couldn’t write a better synopsis of the movie than Rotten Tomatoes. So here is what they have to say:

The life of celebrated wildman Charles Bukowski has been brought to the big screen on a number of occasions prior to this adaptation of his book, Factotum. Most notably, Mickey Rourke played Bukowski's alter-ego Henry "Hank" Chinaski in 1987's Barfly, while 2004’s Bukowski: Born Into This was a fascinating documentary on the alcohol-fueled writer. This Norwegian production from director Bent Hamer sees Matt Dillon taking on the role of Chinaski. Dillon gets the character just about right, subtly perfecting the deadbeat behavior that leads to innumerable firings from menial jobs, while also offering a persuasive depiction of a man lost in the throes of an addiction to booze, women, and gambling. The crumbs of plot that do exist in Factotum find Chinaski enjoying the sexual wiles of poverty-stricken Jan (Lily Taylor) and rich-girl Laura (Marisa Tomei), but essentially the film is all about one man's long, low meander through a sedentary life. The alcohol frequently gets the better of Chinaski, destroying his chances of becoming a writer, obliterating his job prospects, and curtailing his relationships. But Hamer is careful never to judge Chinaski's habits, simply depositing them on screen and weaving them into the story as if they were as essential to the human condition as breathing or eating. The film progresses at a leisurely pace, Dillon's cigarette-and-alcohol-soaked vocal chords provide voiceover narration at appropriate times, and Hamer carefully crafts one of the finest portrayals of Bukowski yet. Set in Minneapolis-St. Paul, which overflows with the depreciated low-rent apartments and cruddy, soul destroying workplaces Bukowski thrived upon, Factotum is an arresting depiction of humanity at its lowest ebb.

“HALF NELSON”
Now Playing in Select Theatres
Rated R
See the Trailer

Dan Dunne (Ryan Gosling) is a young inner-city junior high school teacher whose ideals wither and die in the face of reality. Day after day in his shabby Brooklyn classroom, he somehow finds the energy to inspire his 13 and 14-year-olds to examine everything from civil rights to the Civil War with a new enthusiasm.

“THE MOTEL”
Now Playing in Select Theatres
Not Rated
See the Trailer

Puberty sucks, and nobody knows it better than 13-year-old Ernest Chin (Jeffrey Chyau). As he watches guests come and go, Ernest finds himself forever stuck at his family’s hourly-rate motel, where he divides his time between taking orders from his overbearing mom, cleaning up after whatever miscreants the motel may attract.

“AMERICAN HARDCORE”
In Theatres September 22
Rated R
See the Trailer

Generally unheralded at the time, the early 1980s hardcore punk rock scene gave birth to much of the rock music and culture that followed. There would be no Nirvana, Beastie Boys or Red Hot Chili Peppers were it not for hardcore pioneers such as Black Flag, Bad Brains and Minor Threat.

“BABEL”
In Theatres October 27
Rated R
See the Trailer

In the remote sands of the Moroccan desert, a rifle shot rings out - detonating a chain of events that will link an American tourist couple’s frantic struggle to survive, two Moroccan boys involved in an accidental crime, a nanny illegally crossing into Mexico with two American children and a Japanese teen rebel whose father is sought by the police in Tokyo.

Mini-Review: "CSA: The Confederate States of America"

2006-08-21T16:55:00.000-05:00

Review by Fat Jack

My Rating 3 stars out of 5

Now available on DVD
Rated PG-13
Directed by: Kevin Willmott
Starring: Greg Kirsch, Renee Patrick, Molly Graham and Rupert Pate

Rotten Tomatoes: 79% fresh
Netflix: 3 stars out of 5
IMDb: 6.6 stars out of 10

The premise of CSA: The Confederate States of America is a pungent look at what would have happened if the confederate army had won the Civil War. This is achieved by the film portraying itself as a fake TV documentary from Britain, complete with fake commercials of slavery-related products and services.

I expected the film to be funnier: a humorous look at our society had the South won. It is humorous, but only at times. Really, it’s the commercials that are disgustingly humorous. The fake TV documentary, however, is very serious. Not so much The Daily Show, as a real documentary based on a complete what if. Had I realized going in that it was so serious, I think I would have enjoyed it more. Prepare to see a hypothetical documentary on something that could have happened, salt-and-peppered with crack-up commercials.

Quotes from the movie just don’t work. So I am not putting them in. I will, however, replace that with an interesting tidbit from the Internet Movie Database: “A majority of the racist products features in the film’s fake commercials are real racists products from American History.” (see this trailer, or this one.) (view the official site.)

He slimed me!

2006-08-18T16:22:00.000-05:00

The best quote from Ghostbusters- per the vote of our readers- is:

Venkman:" He slimed me."
Stantz: "That's great. Actual physical contact. Can you move?"

We all remember the scene where Bill Murrary's character, Peter Venkman, is slimed by the ghost and Dan Aykroyd's character, Raymond Stantz, is excited about the first contact and the slime. Venkman was not so excited about it. It is the scene that sticks the most out about that movie. It also seems to be the best quote from the movie. Thanks for the votes.

Princess Bride- Poll

2006-08-18T16:17:00.000-05:00

Here at "INCONCEIVABLE!", we are finally getting around to paying tribute to the movie that inspired the name for this blog. The Princess Bride is one of my favorite movies of all times. It is also one of the most quotable movies of all times. I have 40 great quotes and I could only put 10 of them on the poll. Jack, Bryan, and I tried to get the best 10 on the list and we all had different ideas on the best ten to vote on. I hope your favorite one is on the list. Let us know is if we left it off of the list. Make sure to vote for your favorite in our new mini poll on the right hand side of the blog.

By the way, if you have never read the book, you should check it out. As usual, the book is better than the movie. As great as this movie is, the book is even better.

Strange Culture

2006-08-18T09:59:00.000-05:00

RC from Strange Culture stopped by "Inconceivable!" and left us a few comments. This prompted me to go over and check out his blog. Strange Culture is an entertainment focused blog that primarily focus is on movies. He has some interesting reviews on his site. Please check out his blog and let him know that the guys at "Inconceivable!" say hello.

Coming Soon: "Homemade Hillbilly Jam"

2006-08-14T08:04:00.000-05:00

Recommendation by Fat Jack

My Prediction: 4 stars out of 5

At The Moxie: August 23, 2006
Unrated
Directed by: Rick Minnich
Starring: Mark Bilyeu, Mike Williamson, Rik Thomas, Jody Bilyeu, Jay Williamson

IMDb: 8.0 stars out of 10

Springfield’s homegrown bluegrass band, Big Smith, is getting attention in the documentary, “Homemade Hillbilly Jam.” The film has been making the rounds in the film festival circuit for sometime now and even was screened at the Jordan Valley Park last weekend to a crowd of 5,000.

IMDb gives the synopsis: “Hillbillies haven't died off; they've simply become neo-hillbillies. Three families of musicians in the Ozark Mountains of Southwestern Missouri give new meaning to the word "hillbilly". Float down the backwaters, soak up some old time religion, savor a washboard duel, and bask in the neon lights of the pseudo-hillbilly showtown Branson. Lean back and merge into hillbilliness.”

I am a fan of Big Smith. They are one of my favorite bluegrass-folk bands. Like The Dillards, they are a family band made up of brothers and cousins, and they come from a rich tradition of family musical talent. They have quite a devoted following in the Ozarks, being elevated to something of a cult phenomenon.

Rumor has it that technical difficulties arose during the Springfield showing and the movie was played in black and white. If you missed that screening or want to see it in it’s original format, then fret not. The Moxie theatre is at the rescue offering “Homemade Hillbilly Jam” for two weeks starting August 23. Reports from The Moxie indicate that they have had to turn people down from seeing “An Inconvenient Truth” and other films lately. So I would suggest buy your tickets ahead of time (available online).

(UPDATE: You can read a great interview with the director here. Thanks to News-Leader Features Editor Michael Brothers'.)

The Dark Knight Will Return

2006-08-10T06:17:00.000-05:00

MC at Entertain Me has the news about director Christopher Nolan's sequel to "Batman Begins". "The Dark Knight" will once again face off against the Joker, this go around played by Heath Ledger.

New Poll- Ghost Busters

2006-08-07T22:02:00.000-05:00

Who are you going to call? Ghost Busters! This movie has some memorable lines. Check them out and vote on the one you love the most. Remember, "If there is something strange, in your neighborhood..."

"Gee, I'm real sorry your mom blew up, Ricky.”

2006-08-07T21:08:00.000-05:00

The winning quote from Better Off Dead is the immortal line,
"Gee, I'm real sorry your mom blew up, Ricky.”

The second place was a tie between two other memerable lines.

"I've been going to this high school for seven and a half years. I'm no dummy. I know high school girls.”

“Now that's a real shame when folks be throwin' away a perfectly good white boy, like that.”

Review: "V for Vendetta"

2006-08-07T12:28:00.000-05:00

Review by Fat Jack
My Rating 4.5 stars out of 5

Now available on DVD
Rated R
Directed by: James McTeigue
Starring: Natalie Portman, Hugo Weaving, Stephen Rea, Stephen Fry and John Hurt.

Rotten Tomatoes: 75% fresh
Netflix: 4.2 stars out of 5
IMDb: 8.2 stars out of 10
Roger Ebert: 3 stars out of 4
Entertain Me: B+

“V for Vendetta” is a comic book adaptation from a graphic novel of the same name published in the 1980’s. That’s right. The 1980’s. If you knew nothing, nothing at all, you might think that “V for Vendetta” was some kind of liberal attempt to brainwash the American public against the current government administration. But it’s not.

Like all good literature the storyline goes beyond it’s published decade, transcending any current political figure or event. “V For Vendetta” is about the dangers of a totalitarian government hell-bent on controlling every aspect in the lives of the people it pretends to govern. It is about how government, any government, uses fear and faith to control the populous and maintain power.

After enduring torture from that protective government a man known only as “V,” fights back. He does this with violence, blowing up a building in the futuristic Britain. Viewed by the people as a freedom fighter, he takes over the airwaves and opens the vault of government, exposing the lies and corruption. His techniques implicate an innocent bystander, whose family were early patriots permanently detained by the government when she was young. Together, they fight to give the government back to the people.

I find it interesting that V wears a mask, hiding his identity from the people and the audience. It’s very hard to act without seeing the actor’s face, but Hugo Weaving does an excellent job acting behind the mask. Evey tells it straight when she says to V: “My father was a writer. You would’ve liked him. He used to say that artists use lies to tell the truth, while politicians use them to cover the truth up.”

I know of no reason why “V for Vendetta” should ever be forgot.

EVEY: “My father was a writer. You would've liked him. He used to say that artists use lies to tell the truth, while politicians use them to cover the truth up.”

V: “People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.”

V: “Remember, remember, the fifth of November, gunpowder treason and plot. I know of no reason why the gunpowder treason should ever be forgot.”

V: “What was done to me was monstrous.”
EVEY: “Then they created a monster.”

Review: "Lone Wolf and Cub: Sword of Vengeance

2006-08-05T15:19:00.000-05:00

Review by Fat Jack
My Rating 5 stars out of 5

Now available on DVD
Not Rated
Directed by: Kenji Misumi
Starring: Tomisaburo Wakayama and Akihiro Tomikawa

Netflix: 3.3 stars out of 5
IMDb: 8.0 stars out of 10

SYNOPSIS
Revenge. Revenge is the classic Samurai plot line. No wire-fu here, no Hong Kong chop socky. No one jumps in the trees or walks on water. This is classic cinema, dramatic and beautiful. Ogami Itto is a high-ranking samurai working as the executioner for the Shogunate (the leader of a region, directly beneath the Emperor.)

As with any highly stratified political state, there are always conspiracies afoot. The shadow arm of the Yagyu clan set up Ogami, killing his wife and disgracing his position as executioner. This in turn leads the Emperor to call for the death of Ogami and his infant son – by seppuku. You probably know of it as hara-kiri: The ceremonial act of suicide. (Just as an aside, I will tell you that the person committing seppuku sits in seiza (sitting on the knees) inserts his own smaller blade into his left side gut, turns the blade, and then runs it across his own belly, dumping his entrails onto the floor. As he slumps over dying slowly, another samurai cuts his head off. Interestingly, if it is an honorable death, then the neck waddle is left intact.

Well Ogami refuses to commit seppuku. He, instead, decry’s this treachery, proclaims he and his son as demons, and swears vengeance on the Yugyu clan. So why don’t the Yuhyu clan just kill him? When it comes time for them to do that, he strips off his death robes and is wearing the sigil of the Shogunate (a crest worn on the clothes.) The Yugyo clan cannot bring their sword against the crest of the Shogun, so they challenge him to a one-on-one duel. If he wins, he and his son are given their life, but are banned from the region. The movie is only half-way done, so I give little away when I tell you that he wins.

Now a masterless samurai, this ronin leaves the land. The tales of this samurai and child are told in villages throughout the land and they become known as Lone Wolf and Cub, assassins for hire.

FACTS
This movie was made in Japan in 1972, the year before I was born, and it is 88 minutes long. You will notice that during many cinematic transitions you may see water falling or grass swaying, but do not hear the water falling, the wind blowing, nor music playing. I don’t know why, but I found it interesting. Maybe MC at Entertain Me will know and will leave comments. It’s a 70’s movie, so you will see a breast or two. There is a beautiful scene displaying a sexual encounter; it is so artfully done, masterfully obscuring the rawness of the act so the tenderness shows through.

As for blood and gore, there is some, but not as much as one might expect. The samurai sword, unlike many other swords, is not meant to be twirled. The fights last seconds. This is because of how the sword is designed. The iaito (sword) is folded and hammered over and over, making it very strong. The sword is designed to cleave a person right down the middle, leaving two halves. It is meant to lob of limbs. Long, drawn-out fight sequences are more about movie making than actual technique. Lone Wolf and Cub, unlike Kill Bill, portrays the quickness and power of the sword. For a traditionalist or practitioner the realism makes for a more convincing experience.

Comic geeks will know, and undoubted be upset that I have not yet mentioned the fact, that there is also a comic adaptation of this book by Dark Horse Comics. It is now being released in a 28-volume set with a total of 7,000 pages. Each edition costs $10 and is approximately 300 pages. I would have started collecting them back in the days when I was reading comics, but they are black and white and I usually prefer color to my comics, although I love black and white photos. Go figure that. For your information, Wikipedia has a listing on Lone Wolf and Cub.

THE MOVIE SERIES

Lone Wolf and Cub: Sword of Vengeance
Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Care at the River Styx
Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart in Peril
Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart to Hades
Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart in the Land of Demons
Lone Wolf and Cub: White Heaven in Hell

DVD REVIEW
The DVD doesn’t have a lot of extras, but what it has are cool. Subtitles are offered in two versions. The full, enhanced subtitles offer information about Japanese culture, signs, and other information to help Americans understand what is happening in the movie. The subtitles change colors when multiple people are speaking, to help you discern between actors. I suggest using this feature. The other subtitle offered is just a basic subtitle. I like subtitles. You get a better translation, but they should have offered a dubbed version as well. The DVD also offered trailers to the other movies in the series.

MY THOUGHTS
Don’t watch this with your kids, until you see it yourself. For you who appreciate the story and the character more than just mindless action, then you will love this. It is unrated you know. Heads do roll, limbs are lobbed off, and blood gushes. Not quite by the gallons such as Tarantino is fond of, but it’s there. Oh yeah, baby, it is there. But the blood doesn’t get in the way.

(Sorry kids. There are not quotations for you. I can't seem to find any and I didn’t have the energy to go back and take notes. I can’t find any trailers.)

Godzilla: Final War

2006-08-01T22:21:00.000-05:00

I love a good Godzilla movie. They are corny and it often reminds me of a Power Rangers episode but I love them anyway. This movie is pure fun and does not disappoint for a mindless monster movie. If you are looking for an in-depth discussion of life, you have the wrong movie.

You get just about every monster that Godzilla has fought in the past and it also includes the American Godzilla (the imitator as the call him). Mothra is the only monster on his side. You also get mutants that are trained to fight the monsters in flying ships with a giant drill on the front. Then you get the Alien twist. Ok, it is not really a twist because, well it is not well written but it is Godzilla.

This is the 50th anniversary Godzilla movie, which lends even more to the fun. The monsters are all over the world and not just in poor Tokyo but don't worry, we get to see the destruction of Tokyo once again. The Statue of Liberty, Eiffel Tower, and the Sydney Opera House all get to have monster attacks.

What I did not like: Godzilla only shows up in quick flashbacks in the first half of the movie. They are developing the plot of the mutants and aliens. We do get some cool monster action
but not really good Godzilla footage until we are half way through this 2-hour movie.

Over Grade: C+ unless you are in a Godzilla monster movie mood then I give it an A-. It is worth seeing for any Godzilla fan.

Mini-Review: "MirrorMask

2006-07-31T14:05:00.000-05:00

Review by Fat Jack
My Rating: 1 star out of 5

Now available on DVD
Rated PG
Directed by: David McKean

Starring: Stephanie Leonidas and Rob Bryndon

Rotten Tomatoes: 51% rotten
Netflix: 3.3 stars out of 5
IMDb: 7.3 stars out of 10
Roger Ebert: 2 stars out of 4

As a rule I love the strange, artistic and surreal to the point that I can endure a mildly muddled story plot. But MirrorMask goes so far beyond muddled, that it allows the artistic creativity to take over like a rampant strawberry patch. It is pretty and sweet and makes a good dessert, but one can only stand so much. I don’t want a yard full of strawberries nor do I want my movies so expressive in visual effects that the script is nothing more than a scribbled-on cocktail napkin. (Watch the trailer and visit the official site.)

JOANNA: “All those kids in there want to run away and join the circus.”
HELENA: “Great, they can have my life. I want to run away and join real life.”

VALENTINE: “I'm an important person you see. I have a tower, a wonderful tower it was, tall and grand.”

HELENA: “If I tell you something weird... will you think I'm crazy?”
VALENTINE: “Yes. I expect so.”

Mini-Review "Bubble"

2006-07-31T11:18:00.000-05:00

Review by Fat Jack
My Rating 3 star out of 5

Now available on DVD
Rated R
Directed by: Steven Soderberg
Starring: Debbie Doebereiner, Dustin James Ashley and Misty Wilkins.

Rotten Tomatoes: 68% fresh
Netflix: 2.9 stars out of 5
IMDb: 6.7 stars out of 10
Roger Ebert: 4 stars out of 4

A movie as calm and devoid of emotion as the town in which it’s set, Bubble is a long, dry look at the power and pain of unknown love. The movie is depressed in it’s lack of emotion and sluggish pace – a direct correlation to the lives of the characters. Even murder is portrayed as a pestering paper cut. The young man affected the most, as it was his best friend that killed his girl, seems disconnected from feeling anything remotely connected to care or even empathy. As for the Karla Quotient, do not worry. Nothing ever really happens in this movie including the murder. (Watch the trailer and visit the official site.)

Better Off Dead- Movie Quotes

2006-07-26T21:33:00.000-05:00

The great 80's Cult Classic- Better Off Dead- starring John Cusack is the source of our latest movie quote poll. There are some great lines from this pure 80's comedy. It will be a challenge to pick the best one. Let us know the one that you like the best.

Leave us a comment if you have a request for an upcoming movie quote poll.

Batman Quote- 3 Way Tie

2006-07-26T21:29:00.000-05:00

The Batman (1989) movie quotes ended in a tie. Here are the three that tied for first place. Bryan, Fat Jack, and I will vote to determine the winner. Thanks for all of your votes.

"Never rub another man's rhubarb.” –Joker

"And where, where is the Batman... he is at home washin his tight." –Joker

"If you gotta go, go with a smile" -Joker

Aliens- Quote Winner

2006-07-25T14:46:00.000-05:00

The winning quote from our Aliens poll is:

"Hey, maybe you haven't been keeping up on current events, but we just got our asses kicked pal!"

It was followed closely by my favorite quote from Aliens :

"All right people, what are you waiting for, breakfast in bed? Another glorious day in the corps. A day in the Marine Corps is like a day on the farm. Every meal's a banquet. Every paycheck a fortune. Every formation a parade. I love the corps!"

Thank you all for voting for the Aliens quote.

Batman Quotes- final days to vote

2006-07-25T14:37:00.000-05:00

We currently have a 3 way tie for our Batman quotes. If you have not voted, please vote for your favorite. I will leave it up through tomorrow. On Thursday, I will put up a new set of quotes to vote for. Remember, by the end of the day tomorrow, the voting will be over for Batman quotes.

Review: "Monster House"

2006-07-22T21:29:00.000-05:00

Review by Fat Jack

My Rating 4 stars out of 5

Now in Theaters
Rated PG
Directed by: Gil Kenan
Voice Talents: Steve Buscemi, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Jason Lee, Mitchel Musso, Sam Lerner, and Spencer Locke

Rotten Tomatoes: 70% fresh
Netflix: 4.3 stars out of 5
IMDb: 7.2 stars out of 10
Richard Roeper: 3.5 stars out of 4

(This is not a G rated film; it is very PG. If you have a child who is very young, has delicate sensibilities, or is prone to nightmares then be sure to screen it first to make sure it is appropriate for your youngster.)

The House of Jack does love a scary yarn, which of course eliminates many movies during daylight hours as our home has young eyes and ears. When I first saw the trailer, I started prepping my 6-year-old daughter. She likes to be scared if she is in a safe environment. We talked about this movie at length before seeing it. I made sure she saw the trailers multiple times before taking her. She was ready and excited.

Director Gil Kenan makes a nice story that weighs in at a mere 80 minutes. The story is crisp, intense at times and funny. Now there is a bit of puberty humor, but the tween characters who it is aimed at don’t quite understand it, preserving their childhood if not for a few seconds.

The house is scary and when it comes to life, it really pops off screen. This is being debuted in 3-D in limited areas. I’m glad we choose the traditional theater as it was real enough for my daughter. During the stronger moments, she reached over and put my arm across her chest, clinging to it like a monkey. I asked her if she was scared and she bravely told me “No” but she still kept use of my arm.

In the end, the issue with the house is resolved, allowing our youngsters to go home with a sense of relief. My daughter informed me that she had previously had a nightmare where our home had come alive, but she assured me that wouldn’t happen to our house. No one has ever died in our house. She smiled during the whole movie and loved every scary minute of it. She’s even sleeping well tonight … in my bed … with her teddy … and the cat … and the lights on. That is what scary movies are supposed to do. That’s part of the fun.

ZEE (the babysitter): “What are you dweebs doing?”
CHOWDER: “Oh nothing it’s just that the house just tried to eat us!”
ZEE: [Pause] “No more Mountain Dew.”

JENNY: [waves flashlight at chandelier] “Look! That must be its uvula.”
CHOWDER: Oh, so it’s a girl house.”

DJ: “We have to fight back.”
CHOWDER: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I’m not going inside that house.”
JENNY: I say it’s worth a shot.”
CHOWDER: [quickly] Yes I agree. Let’s do it.”

Coming Soon: "District B13"

2006-07-20T12:37:00.000-05:00

Preview by Fat Jack

My Prediction: Great

Coming soon to The Moxie
On DVD September 5, 2006
Rated R

Netflix: 4 stars out of 5
IMDb: 6.8 stars out of 10

From the producer of “Transporter” and the people who brought you “Ong Bank: The Tai Warrior,” this film looks to be a kind of independent action film. Dan and Nicole, owners of The Moxie, say this film is the Moxie’s version of the summer block buster.

Paris, 2010. An isolation wall surrounds the ghetto cities. Without effective law enforcement, within these walls, gang rule is absolute. Damien is a member of an elite police squadron, a special unit highly trained in martial arts and the precise physical skills necessary to navigate the treacherous urban landscape of Paris’ future. He is now tasked with the most vital and dangerous mission of his career: to retrieve a loose nuke stolen by the most powerful gang of District B13.

Leito, a vigilante criminal whose only goal is to save his sister from the clutches of the same gang, knows District B13 like the back of his hand. Assigned to infiltrate the sector to defuse the bomb, Damien must convince Leito to join his cause. Yet everything is not quite as it seems. Who exactly works for whom? Who is really pulling the strings? Above all, who profits from the use of this bomb?

(Sorry, but there are no quotes available.)

DVD Review: "The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle"

2006-07-17T20:57:00.000-05:00

Review by Fat Jack

My Rating: 4 stars out of 5
Now available on DVD Rated G

Netflix: 3.8 stars out of 5
IMDb: 8.2 stars out of 10

Any now here’s something we hope you’ll really like: The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show on DVD. The beauty of this is that the original show is preserved here, complete with Mr. Peabody and his boy, Sherman; Mr. Know It All; Poetry Corner; and the fractured fairy tales.

Clever as ever, this DVD made a wonderful choice o introduce to my daughter. It’s a lot like the animated version of Rowan and Martin’s Laugh In. The dialogue is quick, pointed and riotously funny. I love the fractured fairly tales. Of course the entire show is available on Netflix.

ROCKET J. SQUIRREL: “And now, here to tell you everything about anything is Mr. Know-It-All..”

BULLWINKLE: “I'd like to apply for a job as an usher?”
BORIS: “What experience have you had?
BULLWINKLE: “I've been in the dark for most of my life”

NATASHA: “Boris, is Moose you said you killed in previous episode?”
BORIS BADENOV: “Look, it's his show. If he wants to be hard to kill, let him.”

Mini-Review: "The Matador"

2006-07-17T20:37:00.000-05:00

Review by Fat Jack

My Rating: 4 stars out of 5
Karla Quotient: Approved

Now available on DVD
Rated R
Directed by: Richard Shepard
Starring: Pierce Brosnan and Greg Kinnear

Rotten Tomatoes: 75% fresh
Netflix: 3.3 stars out of 5
IMDb: 7.1 stars out of 10
Roger Ebert: 3.5 stars out of 4

First of all, this is a dark comedy. Now that may suggest to you that it is brooding and bloody and disturbing. But The Matador is not such. An assassin and a man who needs his help may give you the sense of dark imagery. Fret not. Even the lightest of tummies can handle this dandy little flick.

My sister, Karla, loves movies but her sensibilities are easily disturbed, especially when it comes to films involving children or excessive and realistic violence. I call this the Karla Quotient and this film is approved for Karla.

JULIEN NOBLE: “Come on! It’ll be a good time.”
DANNY: “Oh, so now killing people is a good time?”
JULIEN: “Can be.”

JULIEN: “I wouldn't do that for all the teenage twat in Thailand.”

BEAN: “Aren't we fucking cosmopolitan? Having a trained assassin stay overnight. Letting heartbreaking lies roll over us like a summer breeze.”

Its a bird... Its a plane... Its a hit!

2006-07-17T12:03:00.000-05:00

Review by Bryan
My Rating: 4.5 stars out of 5

Now in Theaters
Released: 6/28/06
Rated PG-13
Length: 2h34m
Directed by: Bryan Singer
Starring: Brandon Routh, Kate Bosworth and Kevin Spacey

Rotten Tomatoes: 75% Fresh
IMDb: 7.3 stars out of 10
Roger Ebert: 2 stars out of 4
CrapLousy: 36% Crap

This, being my first movie review for Inconceivable, may be a bit rough around the edges, so forgive me any ramblings that I may accidentally fall into. I've received no small amount of grief from Larry and Fat Jack for may lack of postings to this blog so I will try to make up for it with this review and hopefully before Wednesday a review a some movie about boats, a pearl, and swords....

While I'm not the wide-eyed child I was in 1978 or 1980, I still came out of this movie "Believing a Man Could Fly" to borrow a catch-phrase from the original. I was kind of nervous about how this movie was going to turn out. Not due to the fact that Bryan Singer was directing. He is a marvel at making you want to be interested in characters and his Usual Suspects is one of my favorite movies. My doubts were in the picking up from Superman II and continuing the legend from there. I really like the first two movies n the series just like I really like the first Batman movie and the Catwoman half of Batman Returns, but I appreciated the fact that the powers-that-be decided to restart the Batman franchise from the beginning and at first thought they should have done the same here.

Well, most of my fears were for naught. The storyline plays well from the first two movies and in a very eerie way, Brandon Routh does seem to channel Christopher Reeve at times, many of which he not only sounds like the prior tights wearer, but looks like him too.

The plot is pretty simple, but woven into the story, in a way done much better than the originals, is character background information. Clark's early years discovering his powers and Luthor's vileness as a master manipulator, and not just a techno-geek as he is sometimes portrayed, are worked into the story well and give you some ideas as to where each of them are coming from. Clark, the child that won't understand for many years why he floats in the air and run so fast, and Luthor, the former prisoner, who dotes on an elderly millionairess, while her family waits for her to die, just so he can have her Yaught.

The first half of the film deals with the return of Superman to Metropolis (hence the title) after he has been gone from Earth for 5 years looking for his homeworld. It seems that some scientists found what looked like a planetary body orbiting the red sun of Krypton. Superman returns to Earth and is surprised to find that people went on without him but not without problems. The world is in chaos and he begins to make a difference immediately.

Meanwhile... Luthor schemes to create a new body of land in the Atlantic that he can control and sell to the highest bidder. Why new land.... In creating the new body, he basically floods half of the US, thus making his land much more valuable... and too boot, its laced with Kryptonite.

On the side, Lois is engaged and has a 5 year old son who is sort of a weakling, snotty nosed, whiner and as if nobody sees it coming, should be Clark's child. Lois "supposedly" doesn't suspect this until the end of the movie after young Clark junior throws a grand piano across the Yaught's ballroom in a fit of rage. They never come right out and say that the child is Clark's but there is a whisper that we don't hear that alll but implies it.

So... Did I love the movie? Absolutely! Is it one of the greatest movies ever made? Probably not. Is it better than that other Superhero movies that came out this year X-Men 3? You betcha! The saddest part of this last fact is that X-Men 3 will probably make far more money that Superman Returns. I chalk that up to two things. 1) Superman Returns is a full hour longer than X-Men 3 which means the later movie can plan more times for the same amount per seat and 2) I think this by many is like a restart (even though it isn't). And first episode movies sometimes do not do as well as subsequent eps. There was doubts about Singer's original X-Men movies and it grew into a huge franchise for Marvel. Let's hope that Superman can do the same for DC.

Technorati Tags: Superman Returns, Movie Review

Mini-Review: "Nacho Libre"

2006-07-13T06:57:00.000-05:00

Review by Fat Jack

My Rating: 3 stars out of 5

Now in Theatres
Rated PG
Directed by: Jared Hess
Starring: Jack Black, Ana de la Reguera, and Hector Jimenez.

Rotten Tomatoes: 35% rotten
IMDb: 5.9 stars out of 10
Roger Ebert: 1.5 stars out of 4
Entertain Me: B

Think back to Christopher Guest, writer and director of the hilarious mockumentary, “Best In Show,” where he hit comedic gold. “Best in Show” was it. A near perfect rendition of what a mockumentary should be. He wrote and directed several others including “A Mighty Wind,” and “Waiting for Guffman,” and while these were okay, they just weren’t the Best in Show.

The same has proven true with director Jared Hess and actor Jack Black. “Nacho Libre” is fine, even funny in parts. But it is missing something. Black’s performance, too, seems a bit catawampus. Fat guy in tights is funny, but it only travels so far. The movie isn’t horrible by any means. It has some funny bits, but those are not enough to carry the film. It’s just not dynamite.

NACHO: “They think I do not know a buttload of crap about the Gospel, but I do!”

CHANCH: “Here, take this, my mother gave it to me. It was her lucky machete..”

NACHO: “...but my life is good. Really good! I get to wake up every morning at 5am and make some soup. It’s the best! I love it! I get to lay in a bed by myself all of my life. It’s fantastic!.”

New Poll- Best Quote from Batman (1989)

2006-07-12T12:06:00.000-05:00

We now have a poll for the Best quote from the 1989 "Batman". Check it out on the right hand side and vote for your favorite. Remember, your votes help us decide which line will be included in our best movie quotes top 100.

Superman Returns- Review- Spoilers included

2006-07-09T21:40:00.000-05:00

I saw Superman Returns today. I have been eagerly anticipating this movie since I saw the first trailers last fall. I was unable to get to the theatre until today.

Here is my review:

What I liked about It: As I have read in numerous other reviews, Brandon Routh does a great job of becoming what we remember as Superman. He looks and at times sounds just like Christopher Reeves. Brandon's Clark Kent was almost identical to Reeves portrayal. I also felt like I was back in my childhood watching Superman II once again.

I felt that Kate Bosworth was a really good Lois Lane. She had the drive of Lois from the comics. I loved her arguments with Perry "Chief" White about what story she should be covering. She made me believe she was Lois.

Kevin Spacey was the best Lex Luthor I have ever seen. After getting out on parole, he hooks up with an elderly rich woman and takes full advantage. He then develops a well thought out scheme with Superman's crystals in the Fortress of Solitude. He has some great lines.

I also really liked the rest of the cast. Everyone from Ma Kent to Perry White to Jimmy Olson was well done and believable. I can not complain about the casting of this film at all.

The plot was pretty good. I could buy into Superman being gone for 5 years while he explored the possibility of finding what is left of Krypton. This causing a lot of the plot issues on the screen between Superman and Lois. I felt that it overall played well on the screen.

What I did not Like: (Spoilers- Beware) I hated the plot issue of Lois' son and how it played out. Is it or is it not Superman's son did not play well for me. They gave it away too easily and did not make you really think about it or be surprised with it. It would have been better if they did not tell us but rather left us wandering. I am also more of a purest. In the comics, Superman did not have a child with Lois. They still have not had any children after getting married. Yet, this movie is going to introduce us to Superman's son. It left a nasty taste in my mouth. To me, it was much worse than making Spiderman's webbing actually come from his arm and not his web shooters.

My Grade: B+. I would have been higher without the child issue.

Other Reviews:
Rotten Tomatoes 75% approval/ 7.1 out of 10
Coming Soon: Both 8/10 and 9/10 Reviews
Entertain Me: B
Roger Ebert: 2 Stars

Memorable Quotes:
Lois Lane: But millions will die!
Lex Luthor: Billions! Once again, the press underestimates me.

Lex Luthor: Come on, let me hear you say it, just once.
Lois Lane: You're insane.
Lex Luthor: No! No, not that the other thing. Come on, I know it's on the tip of your tongue.
Lois Lane: Superman will never...
Lex Luthor: WRONG!

Lois Lane: I've done Superman. [Jimmy and Clark snicker]
Lois Lane: I've covered him! You know what I mean!

Kitty Kowalski: Wow, that's really something, Lex.
Lex Luthor: Wait for it.
Kitty Kowalski: Wow, that's really something, Lex.
Lex Luthor: Wait for it.

Kitty Kowalski: Lex, you're not a God.
Lex Luthor: Gods are selfish beings who fly around in little red capes and don't share their power with mankind.

Perry White: Winning a Pulitzer Prize is like winning an academy award, nobody remembers what you won it for, they just know that you won it.

Kitty Kowalski: [looking at a dog chewing on a bone] Weren't there two of those?

Lex Luthor: I would give thirty thousand coconuts and every ounce of your blood for a quart of gasoline!

Lex Luthor: [after receiving a will the widow signed leaving him all the money and handing his wig to a little girl] You can have that. The rest is mine.

Superman: I read the article, Lois.
Lois Lane: Yeah, so did a lot of people. Tomorrow night, they're giving me the Pulitzer ...
Superman: Why did you write it?
Lois Lane: How could you leave us like that? I moved on. So did the rest of us. That's why I wrote it. The world doesn't need a savior. And neither do I.

Superman: Listen...
Lois Lane: I don't hear anything.
Superman: I do. I hear everything. You wrote that the world doesn't need a savior, but every day I hear people crying for one.

Superman: [after saving Lois Lane and other members of the media from a plane crash] I hope this hasn't put you off of flying. Statistically speaking, it's still the safest way to travel.

Clark Kent: How did Lex Luthor get out of prison?
Jimmy Olsen: When his appeals came up, they called Superman as a witness, and he never showed. How much do you think that pisses off Superman?
Clark Kent: ...A lot.

2006-07-08T09:46:00.000-05:00

A PRAIRIE HOME COMPANION

Director Robert Altman assembles an incredible cast to play in this comedy based on the radio show by the same name. See what happens backstage during the last performance. Not always a fan of Altman’s style, I can appreciate his work. Even still, this looks like a comedic hit to me. (see the trailer) (visit the official site)

AL (stage manager): About that obscene song you sang last week...
LEFTY: "I'll give you my moonshine if you show me your jugs?"

LEFTY (singing): Liquor she said, and lick her I did, and I don't work there any more.

YOLONDA JOHNSON: Isn't that a Carter Family song?
LOLA JOHNSON: Who?
YOLONDA JOHNSON: The Carter Family. Like us, only famous.

GUY NOIR: The show had been on the air since Jesus was in the 3rd grade

MY SUPER EX-GIRLFRIEND

Breakups are hard enough. But when an average man dumps his emotionally unstable superhero girlfriend things really heat up. With Owen Wilson and Uma Thurman, this should be a lot of fun. (see the trailer) (visit the official site)

CLERKS 2

Dante and Randall's jobs at the mini-mart are suddenly cut short. Leaving them in search of new employment at … God forbid … Mooby’s fast food shack. We will see what to make of this sequel. Unlike most, however, we have Kevin Smith at the helm and that lifts my hopes. (see the trailer) (visit the official site)

Randal Graves: You're in the bestiality business.
Sexy Stud: Hey fucko! We like to call it inter-species erotica

DVD Review: "Underdog Chronicles"

2006-07-06T07:28:00.000-05:00

Review by Fat Jack
My Rating 3 stars out of 5

I rented “Underdog Chronicles” yesterday from Netflix. Just one more reason to dislike Blockbuster as they don’t carry anything, including Underdog. She sat and watched it over and over, delighted with Underdog and Polly Purebread. The magic in watching these classics is sharing a piece of my childhood with my progeny, continuing on a bit of history and pop culture.

The DVD, unfortunately is lacking. Underdog took one story line and added several cliffhangers, stretching it over multiple shows. This DVD included only three complete story line episodes. The original show is not intact as the other characters were left off the DVD. No Tennessee Tuxedo, Savoir Faire or Klondike Kat. The originality of the show was stripped away, leaving us only with Underdog episodes.

A better choice would have been to leave the show intact, allowing the audience to relive the show as originally intended, complete with cliffhangers. With that said, I was not disappointed in Underdog himself, I just wanted more of the original package. Still, she and I shared a piece of TV history and that was fun.

UNDERDOG: “There’s no need to fear! Underdog is here.”

UNDERDOG: “When Polly’s in trouble, I am not slow. It’s hip-hip-hip and away I go.”

UNDERDOG: “The secret compartment of my ring I fill, with my Underdog super energy pill.”

Check out the movie quote polls

2006-07-03T22:26:00.000-05:00

Over on the right hand side of the blog, we now have our first movie quote poll. It is located right under the link to the Quote page. Please check it out. We will try to update this weekly and have the readers assist us in deciding the best quote for each movie that we have listed.

Mini-Review: "Jackass - The Movie

2006-07-03T11:16:00.000-05:00

Review by Fat Jackass

My Rating: 4 stars out of 5

IMDb: 6 stars out of 10
Rotten Tomatoes: 49% Rotten
Netflix: 3.2 stars out of 5

Pointless, stupid, juvenile, void of intellect and lacking purpose are all typical responses from critics, if those critics even bothered to watch this, which I imagine most did not. This is not typical moviedom. Obviously low brow, crass and obscene, “Jackass – The Movie” is more of a documentary on the goings-on with adult-yet-adolescent, drunk fraternity brothers.

Certainly Jackass adds credibility to the theory that boys are stupid until they are 30. And if you ever doubted collective stupidity, it is now easy to see that there is a direct correlation between the number of boys in a group and the IQ of those same boys. As the number of boys increases, the IQ of the individuals decreases by that same amount. God help you if beer or smoke are involved.

But if you fondly remember all or at least some of your youthful experiences then Jackass will supply you with a good dose of nostalgia and fear. I laughed my Jackass off, remembering when my friends and I did something similiar. Don't let anyone tell you differently. And that is what makes Jackass - The Movie great. If you have boys, and you are brave enough to know what boys are really like, then this will learn you a thing or two. But beware, because somewhere beneath every man worth his salt, is a Jackass.

Mini-Review: "Hoodwinked"

2006-07-03T10:38:00.000-05:00

Review by Fat Jack
My Rating: 1 star out of 5

IMDb: 6.7 stars out of 10
Rotten Tomatoes: 47% Rotten
Netflix: 3.5 stars out of 5

I’m not listing the director nor the actors. I’m offering no poster art, nor linking to any trailers. There’s simply no point. There’s hardly any point to writing a review, except I need to write something and it’s all I have had time to see lately.

The weak story line combined with the juvenile animation limps off the screen. I felt like I was watching some nonsensical Saturday morning cartoon. I was hoodwinked into watching, as the actors were hoodwinked into participating.

Guide to Guys: the movie

2006-06-22T23:04:00.000-05:00

The genius of Dave Barry comes to the movies. From his bestselling book, The Complete Guide to Guys, Dave takes it to the next level with the G2G the movie. Here is the G2G trailer. If the movie is half a funny as the trailer, then it will be worth seeing. This movie also stars John Cleese, of Monty Python fame.

My Review: I have not seen this movie. This is not an intellectual film that you will gain anything form. It will not win an Oscar. If you need a laugh and get the Guy Humor, then I would suggest to check it out. If stupid B movies are not your thing, then I would not waste your time.

Other Reviews:
IMDB: 4.2 out of 10
Yahoo Movies: B
Rotten Tomatoes: No Rating

Coming Soon: "CSA: Confederate States of America"

2006-06-20T08:15:00.000-05:00

Recommendation by Fat Jack

My Prediction: Great

Coming Soon to The Moxie
Released in Theatres in 2005
On DVD August 8, 2006
Unrated

Directed by: Kevin Willmott
Starring: Greg Kirsch, Renee Patrick, and Molly Graham

Rotten Tomatoes: 80% fresh
IMDb: 6.7 stars out of 10
Netflix: 3.5 stars out of 5

What would our country be like if the South had won the Civil War? That is the central theme of the mocumentary, “CSA: The Confederate States of America.” It looks disturbingly and irreverently humorous. Just imagine the new TV station, Slave Shopping Network, where you can purchase a product (a slave). You really need to see the trailer to grasp this movie. (See the trailer) (Visit the Official Site)

SLAVE SHOPPING NETWORK: So, let’s start with Jupiter and his family. Versatility is key with Jupiter. He’s healthy, well mannered, loyal, smart but not uppity. Oh, and what a litter of pick-a-ninny’s she’s had. As with all SSN products, we can either break up Jupiter’s family for you, or you can have them as a set. So, let the bidding begin.

NARRATOR: Watch subjugation at its finest, and the master race rise to unprecedented heights.

The movie quotes are here, I am somebody

2006-06-12T17:05:00.000-05:00

To misquote the Jerk, "The movie quotes are here, the movie quotes are here, I am somebody!" As you may have picked up from Bryan's post below, we have a link up for our movie quotes. There is a hyper link on the right hand side called Inconceivable Movie Quotes!. Please check out what we posted and let us know if we need to add other quotes. We hope to have some surveys on the site soon so we can make our own top 100 list with the help of our readers. Bryan , Fat Jack , and I have been working hard on this and are happy to finally have it up and going. We found it impossible to actually post all of our lists on the blog so we had to link it over from a Google page. I hope you enjoy. Please give us some feed back on this.

Ok... Quit griping guys... The list exists finally!

2006-06-12T12:37:00.000-05:00

After a long and drawn out development process, meaning I finally got a chance to get around to doing it, we have at least a preliminary list of some of our favorite movie quotes.

Inconceivable!

The list exists here... and is hosted on the Google Pages beta site. I will apologize ahead of time for any errors/issues/misspellings/quote mistakes that may have, and probably have, cropped up in the translation from Word to Web.

And yes guys, meaning Larry and Chris... I finally got it done!

Mini-Review: "Hard Candy"

2006-06-05T14:48:00.000-05:00

Review by Fat Jack

4 stars out of 5

Now Playing at The Moxie
Rated R
Directed by: David Slade
Starring: Patrick Wilson, Ellen Page, Sandra Oh, Odessa Rae, and Gilbert John

IMDb: 7.3 stars out of 10
Roger Ebert: 3.5 stars out of 4
Rotten Tomatoes: 65% fresh
Netflix: 3.7 stars out of 5
Entertain Me: B+

Judas Priest! This is a real thriller.

My friends and I were sitting at The Moxie and co-owner, Dan, cam on stage to tell us about this and other up-coming movies. “Intense” and “disturbing” were the words used to describe the film, at which point Linda leaned over to me and said, “This is right up your alley.” Yes, indeed., it was. By the way, you need to know that IMDb reports that the term "hard candy" is a slang internet term for an underage girl.

“Hard Candy” appears to be the story of an older man who seeks out a 14-year-old girl on the Internet. Their meeting at a neutral place changes when she invites herself to his home. The rest of the story is not what you expect.

The story is solid. The acting is unbelievable. The questions that arise at the end are enough to satisfy the moviegoer seeking out that high quality, stinging thriller. Taking place almost entirely in his home, the movie relies on acting and story, rather than special effects. Indeed, the gore was beautifully, artistically hidden. Intense is exactly what we got, and I have to tell you that my friends and I spent the next hour discussing just how hard the candy was. (view trailer) (see official site)

HAYLEY: “I bet whatever you have is so juicy it needs it’s own little cubby hole, isn’t that right, Jeff?”

Coming Eventually: "Ghost Rider"

2006-05-27T20:26:00.000-05:00

Preview by Fat Jack
My Prediction: So-So

In Theatres February 16, 2007
Not Yet Rated
Directed by: Mark Steven Johnson
Starring: Nicholas Cage, Eva Mendes, and Sam Elliot.

See the Trailer
Visit the Official Site

STRIKE 1: Director Mark Steven Johnson has been significantly associated with such flops as “Elektra” (producer) and “Daredevil” (director). STRIKE 2: Nicholas Cage is our action-adventure hero and his track record in that genre is as poor as it gets. In drama, Cage is outstanding. His action hero status is sorely lacking. So if this is to be something more than an action plot thrown around a comic character from writers who know nothing of the storiline, then we are in for another disappointing dessert of piss and vinegar.

As cool as comics and bikes are, and they are up there on the cool factor, I do not hold out much hope for this comic adaptation. As much as I enjoy comics, I do wonder if moviedom has not had its fill of them. Let us hope beyond hope that I am wrong. Nothing would make me happier.

Mini-Review: "Over The Hedge"

2006-05-27T20:06:00.000-05:00

Review by Fat Jack

3 stars out of 5

Now in Theatres
Rated PG

Directed by: Tim Johnson and Karey Kirkpatrick
Starring: Bruce Willis, Garry Shandling, Steve Carell, Wanda Sykes, William Shatner, Nick Nolte, Thomas Haden Chruch, Eugene Levy, Catherine O’Hara, and Avril Lavigne.

Rotten Tomatoes: 73% fresh
Netflix: 4.3 stars out of 5
IMDb: 7.6 stars out of 10
Roger Ebert: 3 stars out of 4

A group of hibernating animals wake up to find their food is depleted and it’s time to lay some in. During their long winter’s nap, a monolithic hedge appeared between them and suburbia. A sleezy raccoon with his own agenda manipulates the group to help him rob the refrigerator of a nasty little lady.

If you forget the fact that turtles, porcupines, squirrels and skunks don’t hibernate and then let go of the idea that a hedge of that size cannot sprout of over one winter and you have a mediocre outing for the family. It’s not good enough that adults will want to see it without children present, but it’s fine if you need to do something as a family. You will not be remiss if you wait for the DVD. (see the trailer) (visit the official site)

RJ: “That is an S.U.V. Humans ride in them because they are slowly loosing their ability to walk.”
LEW: “Wow, it’s huge.”
HAMMY: “How many people fit in there?”
RJ: “Normally, about one.”

Review: "X-Men: The Last Stand"

2006-05-27T09:08:00.000-05:00

Review by Fat Jack
My Rating: 3 stars out of 5

Now in Theatres
Rated PG-13
Directed by: Brett Ratner
Starring: Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, Ian McKellen, Famke Janssen, Anna Paquin, Kelsey Grammer, Rebeca Romijn, Patrick Stewart, and Ben Foster.

Rotten Tomatoes: Rotten
Netflix: 4.5 stars out of 5
IMDb: 7.9 stars out of 10
Roger Ebert: 3 stars out of 4

Everything you need to know about “X-Men: The Last Stand” can be summed up easily: Director Bryan Singer left the X-Men series to direct another comic book adaptation, “Superman Returns.” Things are just not the same, a failing more apparent with every review, including those from die hard comic fans, such as INCONCEIVABLE’s own Larry.

The story line had potential and lots of it. There is a strong connection to our modern day political climate. The X-men comic has been known to do that since the beginning. It raises questions about emotional issues facing America today. As Roger Ebert stated: "X-Men: The Last Stand" raises all of these questions in embryonic form, but doesn't engage them in much detail, because it is often distracted by the need to be an action movie. The great failing of many a movie is the reliance on action and cgi rather than the story and the characters.

But there are other problems afoot with this latest X-adventure, which my group of friends point out last night. I’ll detail some of our discussion for you. Storm is one of the most powerful members of the X-men, yet she has never really been given her due. This time, she emerges as the leader of the X-Men, yet it’s Logan who leads them. I like Wolverine as much as the next person -- he is one of the great comic book character of all time. But his little pep talk to the other five X-Men before confronting Magneto in the end was a disgusting attempt at uniting the audience with the characters. It was not Wolverine. I don’t know why they didn’t give that to Storm; it would have made more sense.

In order to obtain the mutant x-gene cure (a boy) Magneto chose to uproot the Golden Gate Bridge, in order to use it as his own crossing to Alcatraz, where the boy was being housed. One has to wonder if that was really necessary. It made for interesting movie making, but wouldn’t it have been so much easier to take a boat? I’m not really suggesting that the Brotherhood take a ferry to the island, but I am pointing out that action took precedence over creative writing.

My buddies also pointed out that in the comic Magneto ripped out Wolverine’s adamantium, turning him into a feral beast but also increasing his healing power to the point that he healed almost faster than the injury could take place. Now that is a Wolverine who might actually stand the chance of surviving the class 5 (as stated in the movie) mutant, Phoenix. It’s a comic detail, I know. But once again, I point out that it relies on story and character rather than just action. The central theme to this final installment was about finding the cure for the mutants. The man who discovered the source of the cure, surprise, surprise, is ashamed of his own mutant son. We are to assume many things about him and his son, Angel, because the plot only glossed over them. Seems to me a central theme should actually be developed.

That is not to say that the movie was not worth seeing, but it wasn’t worth the $22 I paid for my family to see it in theatres. Rent this movie and enjoy it as much as you can. Hell, go out and buy it on DVD just so you can have the entire collection, but don’t expect it to live up to the first two.

I know this is PG-13, but it’s also purposefully marketed to children under that age. But I’m not sure that “dick head” was necessary to the plot or the character who said it. Just a side note.

CHARLES XAVIER: “Since the dawn of existence, there have always been moments when the course of history shifted. Such a turning point is upon us now. The conflict between the better and worst angels of our very nature. Whose outcome will change our world so greatly...there will be no going back. I do not know if victory is possible. I only know that great sacrifice will be required. And because the fate of many will depend on a few, we must make the last stand.”

MAGNETO: “No one ever talks about extermination. They just do it. And you go on with your lives, ignoring the signs around you. And then one day, when the air is still and the night is fallen, they come for you. Only then do you realize that while you're talking about organizing and committees, the extermination has already begun. Make no mistake, my brothers, they will draw first blood. They will force their cure upon us. There is only one question you must answer: Who will you stand with?”

Movie Review- X-Men: The Last Stand

2006-05-26T22:23:00.000-05:00

I went and experienced X-Men: The Last Stand tonight. I went with a whole gang of folks including Bryan and his son. Opening night is always fun for an action/Sci-fi/superhero movie and this was no exception.

I am an X-Men fan. I collected Uncanny X-Men comic books for years and then later all the other X-Men titles. I know the history of the characters. I am attached to many of them.

I love the previous 2 movies. The first X-Men movie was revolutionary in bringing Marvel comics to the big screen for the first time with out the movie being horrible. It treated the characters well and introduced them to millions for the first time. The second did a great job of telling the story of Wolverine past. I would give both of those movies A-.

I had a variety of expectations and hopes going into this movie. I had the hope that they would take the characters and continue to develop them and grow them into the third movie. I knew that they were going to tell one of the most interesting storylines ever in X-Men by telling the Dark Phoenix Saga. I knew that they could not tell it just like the comic book because that would not flow well in a 2 hour movie. It might in a 10 hour miniseries. I also expected that if you told this storyline wrong, it would be Batman and Robin bad. I hoped it would be the best of the three.

My expectations for this movie was not that high. I knew that it had been rushed into production. I knew that we would have a new director, which can be bad for a series. I had high hopes but moderate expectations.

I read an initial great review of this movie on Ain't It Cool News. Then I started reading not so good reviews of this movie. Some of the people loved it and some of them hated it. This helped moderate my expectations down even further.

Spoiler Information contained Below:

Here is what I liked about this movie:

I loved what they did to Storm. She got a haircut and got full use of her powers. She was flying and had great control of the weather. In one scene where she is depressed, she makes the weather dark and gloomy. I also loved the tribute to the comics with the battles scenes where Storm takes on Callisto (without having to explain the whole Morlocks thing.)

Wolverine is turned loose to act more like Wolverine in the comics. He will kill bad guys to get what he needs. There are a couple of scene with Wolverine on the attack and he slaughters (not very bloody) several of them. They play his wildman side along with his feeling for Jean very much like the comics.

We get to finally see the Danger room and how the X-Men train in the Danger room. In there we also get to see our first Sentinel. The conflict the Wolverine and Storm have about the Danger Room is a classic.

The emotional turmoil that Cyclops goes through while dealing with the Death of Jean is right on the money. It was like I was reading the story again. He leaves and now Storm is the leader. Perfect.

I enjoyed the additional X-Men characters being added and it being done well. I loved the Beast and also really liked Juggernaut and Angel. They also focused on some of the younger characters that we had meet before like Iceman, Kitty Pride, Pyro, and Colossus.

What did I not like about this Movie?:

I did not like how they changed the Phoenix to be a part of the Jean's mind. I hated that explanation. They did not have to even explain it at all in this movie. They could have played it more like the comics did orginally and state that she seems to be experiencing a great power surge. Let me state it again, I hated the explanation.

(Big Time Spoiler) I hated that we are led to believe that Jean (or should I say Phoenix) killed Scott. I also hated that she obliterated Professor X. Characters die and come back to life all the time in comics. Phoenix never killed either one of them. Yes I know that Professor X is back at the end of the movie (after the credits).

Magneto and Mystique never lost their powers in the comics. I liked the overall idea of the Cure plot line but I did not like it used on these main characters. Yes I know that Magneto showed that he might get his powers back at the end but that is not the point.

Overall Grade: B
It was not as good as the first two X-Men movies. There were great things about this movie but I would not call it a great movie. It reminded me of how Aliens 3 was good but not in the same league as the original Alien and Aliens.

Other Reviews:
Rotten Tomatoes 52%
Coming Soon: 3 different rankings 5.5/10 rating 7/10 rating 5/10 rating
Rolling Stone: 2 out of 4 Stars

Memorable Quotes
1) Logan: [to Rogue] Hey, I'm not your father. If you wanna go, be sure it's what you want.

2) Prof. Charles Xavier: [to Ororo Munroe] You of all people know how fast the weather can change.

3a) John Allerdyce: Maybe you should go back to school.
3b) Bobby Drake: [Knocks out Pyro] You never should've left.

4a) Bobby Drake: You seem like you're avoiding me, I mean something's wrong.
4b) Marie: I can't touch my boyfriend without killing him.
4c) Bobby Drake: Have I ever put any pressure on you?
4d) Marie: You're a guy Bobby. Your mind's only on one thing.

Movie Top Quote lists

2006-05-26T22:19:00.000-05:00

We are still working on getting our top quote lists up and going on this site. I anticipate that it will be there sometime next week. We have to give you, the readers, a chance to put in your opinion on which quotes are the best from each movie and then narrow it down from there. We just wanted you to know that we have not forgotten about this.

Fat Jack's Summer Family Flick Preview

2006-05-18T21:02:00.000-05:00

As far as young kids are concerned, they aren’t in to documentaries and independent films. Not too many 8-year-olds should go to see the fantastic piece of cinema “Duck Season.” But there are a number of films (good and maybe not so good) coming out for the young-ins this summer. Summer is a subjective term for me as you will notice that one movie, “Over the Hedge,” opens this weekend (May 19). As always, my list is in order of my preference, and not by release date.

“MONSTER HOUSE”
In Theatres July 21
Not Yet Rated
See the Trailer
Official Site

One of my favorite genres, horror, is finally adapted for young audiences in this adventure-thriller monster movie. Three teens discover that the house down the street is not just creepy, not just haunted, but it is a living, breathing monster unto itself. But no one, of course, believes them. It’s up to them to stop the monster house.

This is my top pick for the upcoming children’s movies. Kids love to be safely scared, and this little movie hopes to be a change of pace from the typical animated animal storyline. It’s produced by Spielberg, after all, who has made some of the great children’s classic cinema.

Produced by Robert Zemeckis and Steven Spielberg. Directed by Gil Kenan. Starring: Steve Buscemi, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Jon Heder, Kevin James, Jason Lee, Catherine O’Hara, Kathleen Turner and Fred Willard.

“OVER THE HEDGE”
In Theatres May 19
Rated PG
See the Trailer
Official Site

Vern the tortoise and his woodland friends wake up from a long winter’s nap to find that a new monolith hedge has sprung in their home. Vern is comfortable with his pastoral life, but a raccoon new to the woods is working to convince the other creatures that the grass is greener on the other side. But be careful what you wish for. This looks to be a wonderful choice this year, second only to “Monster House.”

Directed by Tim Johnson and Karey Kirkpatrick. Starring: Bruce Willis, Steve Carrell, Garry Shandling, William Shatner, Thomas Haden Church, Wanda Sykes, Nick Nolte, and Avril Lavigne.

“HOW TO EAT FRIED WORMS”
In Theatres August 25
Not Yet Rated
See the Trailer
Official Site

(Poster art not available)

The first day at a new school is hard enough without having a run-in with the school bully. In order to save face in front of all the other fifth graders, Billy agrees to the bully’s bet to eat 10 worms. Based on Thomas Rockwell’s classic children’s story of the same name. This is a live-action film.

Let’s be real about this. Kids are just going to eat this up, what with all the nasty worm-chomping going on. It’s worth a ticket and popcorn just to see your little ones squirm with disgusting delight. And this has something that our other family choices do not: a chance introduce literature to your child by reading this book to them (or with them). Book learnin’ and slimy guts -- the perfect recipe for a fun, old fashioned family time together.

Directed by Bob Dolman. Starring: Timothy Patrick Cavanaugh, Kimberly Williams, Thomas Cavanagh, Hallie Kate Eisenberg, James Rebhorn and Clint Howard.

“THE ANT BULLY”
In Theatres August 4
Not Yet Rated
See the Trailer
Official Site

We all know what runs downhill. The same is true for 10-year-old Lucas who is the target of the neighborhood bully. Lucas turns his frustration toward the ant hill in his yard, attacking it with his pre-emptive water bombings. The ants fight back by shrinking him with their magic elixir. To pay for his crimes, Lucas is sentenced to a life of hard labor. He soon finds himself on a new journey of respect and understanding.

Directed by John A. Davis. Starring: Nicolas Cage, Paul Giamatti, Larry Miller, Ricardo Montalban, Cheri Oteri, Julia Roberts, Meryl Streep, and Lilly Tomlin.

“HAPPY FEET”
In Theatres This November
Not Yet Rated
See the Trailer
Official Site

In the world of Emperor Penguins getting the girl is all about the sweet song. Poor old Mumble can’t carry a tune in a bucket. While all the other boys are wooing their mates with their siren-songs, he sends the girls packing with his caterwauling. Can Mumble find his place in the world, and win the girl to boot, with his unusual gift? The singing and dancing in this flick is sure to please the kids and offer a better children’s movie than the last live-action penguin piece of documentary tripe.

Directed by: George Miller. Starring: Robin Williams, Elijah Wood, Hugh Jackman, and Nicole Kidman.

“OPEN SEASON”
September 29
Not Yet Rated
See the Trailer
Official Site

A domesticated circus bear rescues a wiild mule deer from a hunter and the two find themselves deep in the wild with the hunting season on their heels. The two must work together to find safety before they end up two trophies on some hunter’s wall.

Directed by Roger Allers, Jill Culton and Anthony Stacchi. Starring: Martin Lawrence, Ashton Kutcher, Debra Messing, Billy Connolly, Jon Favreau, and Gary Sinise.

“CARS”

In Theatres June 9
Rated G
See the Trailer
Official Site

Cocky race car Lightning McQueen finds himself smack dab in the middle of the little country town, Radiator Springs. Unlike his fast paced world, Lighting McQueen discovers that there is more to the race of life than the checkered flag.

Directed by John Lasseter. Starring: Owen Wilson, bonnie Hunt, Paul Newman, John Ratzenberger, Tony Shalhoub, Larry the Cable Guy, Michael Keaton, George Carlin, Bob Costas, Cheech Marin, Jenifer Lewis, Richard Petty, Darrell Waltrip, and Paul Dooley.

“BARNYARD”
In Theatres October 6
Rated PG
See the Trailer
Official Site

Carefree cow, Otis, finds himself in the middle of a disaster when the farmer disappears. The barnyard is run amok without order. So Otis realizes that it is time for responsibility to take over.

Directed by Steve Oedekerk. Starring: Kevin James, Courtney Cox Arquette, Wanda Sykes, Megan Cavanagh, Sam Elliott, Danny Glover, David Koechner and Andie MacDowell.

Fat Jack's Summer Preview

2006-05-18T09:22:00.000-05:00

Summer is the time for big budget blockbusters, which are a fine piece of movie-making. I have every intention of seeing “Superman Returns,” “X-Men 3” and to a lesser extent, “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead’s Men Chest.” However, if you are looking for something a little different -- independent films, documentaries, foreign titles, or just small budget gems -- then take at look at these suggestions.

Okay, some of these are not technically summer previews as they may have released earlier this Spring. But much of the time these haven’t come to Springfield anyway. Besides, it’s my post and I’ll bastardize it as I choose. They are categorized in order of preference. Don’t forget to jump over to Entertain Me and check out MC’s great summer preview and other movie reviews.

“12 AND HOLDING”
Very Limited Release: May 7, 2006
Not Rated
See the Trailer
Official Site

If I had to recommend only one of my summer previews, this would be it. I suspect this will be an excellent movie, powerful, poignant and hard to endure, but excellent.

This powerful film involves four 12-year-olds: twin brothers Rudy and Jacob, Malee, and Leonard. When two bullies set the group's tree house a blaze, the death of Rudy affects the entire group of kids, who have their own burdens to carry before the accident. The adults struggle to help the remaining three deal with the loss of life, the loss innocence and their new found guilt. Directed by: Michael Cuesta, who also directed “L.I.E.”

“AKEELAH AND THE BEE”
Released April 28
Rated PG
See the Trailer
Official Site

Eleven-year-old Akeelah discovers her talent and love for spelling and fantasizes about being a spelling bee champion. Her South Central LA community, however, values sports and rapping over than academics.

When Akeelah enters the school spelling bee, the principal sees her potential and seizes the chance to connect her with a mentor, Joshua. That doesn’t make for good relationships with the parental unit, as her Mother sees all this spelling bee nonsense as nothing more than a fleeting hobby. Directed by Doug Atchison. Starring: Keke Palmer, Laurence Fishburne, Angela Bassett and Curtis Armstrong.

"THE REAL DIRT ON FARMER JOHN"
Released March 10
Not Rated
See the Trailer
Official Site

This documentary focuses on John Peterson a radical, artistic Midwestern farmer. Misunderstood by his community, this farmer turns his farm into an artistic, hippy commune only to be later persecuted by those he wishes to protect. This film has won 18 awards so far. Directed by Taggart Siegel.

“ART SCHOOL CONFIDENTIAL”
Limited Release: May 5, 2006
Rated R
See the Trailer
Official Site

From the producers of “Ghost World,” comes this odd little film about an aspiring artist, Jerome, who escapes his high school home town to study at an Easy Coast art school. Being misunderstood follows Jerome into art school and he finds himself bewildered by the pseudo-artists around him. Things go more arwy when his love interest, Audrey, pines after the hunk of the art class. Starring: John Malkovich, Steve Buscemi, Angelica Huston, Max Minghella, and Sophia Myles. Directed by Terry Zwigoff.

"THE HEART IS DECEITFUL ABOVE ALL THINGS"
In Theatres June 6
Rated R
See the Trailer
Official Site

Based on JT LeRoy’s controversial novel of the same name, this tale follows Jeremiah, a young boy who was moved from his foster home and united with his troubled, teenaged mother traveling the US. Jeremiah’s life is filled with abuse, neglect and a trail of his mother’s unseemly boyfriends.

I seriously doubt this will be a movie for masses. Marilyn Manson is in it. Faint at heart beware. Directed by: Asia Argento, who also the leading lady. Starring: Jimmy Bennett, Peter Fonda, Ben Foster, Michael Pitt, and Marilyn Manson.

“A SCANNER DARKLY”
Limited Release: May 19, 2006
Not Rated
See the Trailer
Official Site

Director Richard Linklater utilizes his interpolated rotoscoping technique again (looks like animation over live action) in this sci-fi government conspiracy film adapted from Philip K. Dick’s novel. National security is top priority where everyone is spying on everyone else and the drug of choice is Substance D (which causes split personalities by the way.)

I’m not sure about this one, but it warrants looking at the trailer. It does have Keanu Reeves and that is one big strike against it. Just check out the trailer. Starring: Keanu Reeves, Winona Ryder, Woody Harrelson, Robert Downey, Jr., and Rory Cochrane.