Sunday, February 25, 2007

79th Oscar Night Festivities

11:13 p.m.
BEST PICTURE
The Departed
Could have blown me over. I really didn't expect The Departed to win both Director and Best Picture.

11:07 p.m.
DIRECTOR
Martin Scorcese, The Departed
No big surprise here. Scorcese has never won an Academy Award and it is about time he won one. I don't really know that he actually won for The Departed. As the Academy often does, they give awards out to people for works that they should have won for. I am happy for Scorcese. He deserves an Oscar.

11:02 p.m.
ACTOR -- LEADING
Forest Whitaker

ACTRESS -- LEADING

Helen Mirren, The Queen
I'm really glad that Streep didn't get the award. The Devil Wears Prada was a fine enough movie for a Saturday afternoon rental, but it was not, in any way, Oscar Worthy. It was much ado about veyr little.

Phillip Seymour Hoffman has never seen a comb. I swear that guy couldn't brush his hair if his life depended on it.


FILM EDITING
The Departed

ORIGINAL SONG

"I need to wake up", by Melissa Ethridge
An Inconvenient Truth

They didn't use enough titty tape on poor Jennifer Hudson; a bit of her bra was showing, bless her heart. Someone is getting fired.


ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

Little Miss Sunshine

ORIGINAL SCORE
Babel

We've decided that as a group, with one dissenting vote, that we do not like Celion Dion, most of us for different reasons. I don't like her French bitchiness. Paul doesn't like her fakeness. Stacy decided that her chin is too pointy for her short forehead. And her breast, we all decided that her breasts were trully pittiful.

You may be wondering why I don't mention the special Oscars that are given out. I don't know, really. I just don't care about those too much so I don't mess with them.


DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
An Inconvenient Truth
Seinfeld's little diatribe on movie theatres was too funny and his crack about the depressingness of the films in this category was also humerous. Friend Larry, a self-proclaimed conservative, proclaimed that he was an evangelical Christian. That is a label that he usually decries, but tonight he lumped himself in that group. We both thought Jesus Camp would win. So the next time he complains about being lumped into the crazy evangelical Christian group, then you can remind him of his proclamation at 9:50 p.m.


DOCUMENTARY SHORT
The Blood of Yingzhou District

SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Jennifer Hudson
The American Idol contestant has made a career for herself. I really didn't think she would win an Oscar, but she proved me wrong. Good for her.

Holy Crap! That whole dance routine with Ellen and Snakes on a Plane was bad ass.


FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
The Lives of Others
Another huge upset. We all picked Pan's Labyrinth as a sure win in this category.

VISUAL EFFECTS

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

Naomi Watts and Robert Downey Jr. introduced Best Visual Effects. I didn't know Downey would be sober enough to do it.

Palabus (sp?) just did a dance routine where they acted out the Little Miss Sunshine bus and the girl running behind.

CINEMATOGRAPHY

Pan's Labyrinth

Now Ellen has changed into a white tuxedo, which also looks very nice. Her bit where she made Steven Spielberg take a snap shot of her with Clint Eastwood for her My Space page was hysterical. She is doing a great job.

BEST COSTUME DESIGN

Marie Antoinette
Another dress with a bow, this one on her chest. For the love of God. Bows do not make a dress better, unless the wearer is 8 years old.

8:51 p.m.
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
The Departed

ANIMATED FEATURE
Happy Feet
That was a real upset. We all voted for Cars. What is Hollywood's hard on with penguins? I just don't get it.

We just finished watching, during the commercials, the movie Grindhouse by Tarantino and Rodriguez. Now that is some kind of double feature.

The Academy Awards have gone green. You can go to oscar.com to find out more. Al Gore and Leonardo DiCaprio announced this.

The dance troupe Polabolous (sp?) rocks the house. That is a remarkable, sculptoural, artistic performance. Amazing. They came to Springfield once, according to friends, Monty and Stacy. I wish I hadn't missed that. If they come again, tne I am all over that.

Okay, at this point in the night, my wife and I have decided that we need to see some movies: Apocalypto, Little Children and the live action short, West Bank Story. I am heading to Netflix at the next commercial break.

SUPPORTING ACTOR
Alan Arkin, Little Miss Sunshine

BEST SOUND MIXING
Dreamgirls

BEST SOUND EDITING
Letters from Iwo Jima

The Sound Effects Choir was really cool, making all those sound effects to those movies with just their voices. Impressive.

8: 05 p.m.
Whoa! Jack Nicholson went cue ball. Good for him. FAT JACK loves that shaved look.

LIVE ACTION SHORT
West Bank Story

That Abagail Breslin from Little Miss Sunshine is one really cute kid.
ANIMATED SHORT
The Danish Poet

ACHIEVEMENT IN MAKEUP
Pan's Labyrinth

I don't know what Nicole Kidman was thinking wearing that head pillow on the shoulder of her dress. Crazy. What is wrong with people wearing big old bows on their butts and bodies?

ART DIRECTION
Pan's Labyrinth

7:40 p.m.
So far Ellen is a funny host.

7:30 p.m. -- The Oscars Begins
The beginning montage was very cool. What will Ellen wear, a dress or a tuxedo? It's a tux! It's a tux. Maroon velvet tux with white shoes. Good for her.

Paul is an idiot. Tonight we talked about the movie, 300, and Paul asked what it was. We are planning a guys night out to go and watch that.

The majority of us (60%) voted for The Departed for Best Director. Thirty percent voted for Letters from Iwo Jima and 10% voted for United 93. For my part, I think that the time has come for Martin Scorcese to win Best Director. Besides, Eastwood has one two in a row and I don't see him winning another one.


7:16 p.m.
Cameron Diaz needs to go back to being a blonde.

6:30 p.m.
Friends in attendance at our party:
Paul and Linda
Monty and Stacy and child
Larry and Michelle and child
Shad and Woodchuck Draft Cider

I will offer updates throughout the night, so keep checking back.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Alright my point was that I would be lumped in there by the "Academy" folk because I am conservative and Christian. It was not that I really consider myself "evangelical" by the fullest of its meaning.