LInks for Cloverfield movie

Here are Links for the mysterious movie without a title from J.J. Abrams and Bad Robot Production known as Cloverfield,1-18-08, and Slusho. Please leave me a comment if I have left any of them out.

The trailer (click her to view trailer)

Official Sites:

1-18-08.com

Slusho!

Blogs, websites, and forums

1.18.08 Blog

The 18th

Cloverfield Clues

1-18-08.livejournal.com

one-eighteen-oh-eight.blogspot.com

1-18-08pedia.com

11808clover.blogspot

cloverfield-movie.com

cloverfieldnews.com

cloverfieldparasite.blogspot

cloverfieldproject.com

jjabramsprojects.blogspot

kaliyugatheory.blogspot

monstrous-movie.blogspot

projectcloverfield.com

whatscloverfield.blogspot


Possible related sites
Slushozoom

www.rageofthegods.com

Possible Spoiler Links

SteakNBJ Forums

TRANSFORMERS

Review by Fat Jack
My Rating: 3 stars out of 5
Rated PG-13

Rotten Tomatoes Critics: 57% Rotten
Rotten Tomatoes Users: 82% Fresh
Netflix: 4.3 stars out of 5
IMDb: 7.9 stars out of 10
Roger Ebert: 3 stars our of 4



I was a big fan of the Transformers as a kid. I collected the toys (and I still have many of them) and watched the cartoons. I was go for the experience and had fun, but I was not overly impressed. I was disappointed in the editing. Director Michael Bay utilized a very quick and jumpy camera. He cut away too soon in the action sequences and I thought he zoomed in too much. It made for exciting action scenes, but there were times when it was hard to see what was going on. I suspect that was to hide mistakes. It was fun while it lasted, but it was a forgettable action flick.

Mikaela: [speaking of Bumblebee] Why, if he's supposed to be like this super-advanced robot, does he transform back into this piece of crap Camaro?
Sam: Oh, see, no. That doesn't work. [Bumblebee turns around and speeds away.] Great. Now... see? Fantastic. Now you pissed him off! That car is sensitive. I mean, $4,000 just drove off!

THE SIMPSONS MOVIE

Review by Fat Jack

My Rating: 4 stars out of 5
Rated PG-13

Rotten Tomatoes Critics: 89% Fresh
Rotten Tomatoes Users: 91% Fresh
Netflix: 4.3 stars out of 5
IMDb: 8.4 stars out of 10
Roger Ebert: 3 stars our of 4



I think most people expected THE SIMPSONS to suck, or at least to be nothing more than a feature length episode. Who knew that it would be so good? This flick bares all (including Bart’s doodle) and makes for a surprisingly fun time. Woo hoo!

Todd Flanders: I wish I had a dad like Homer.
Ned Flanders: Well I wish you didn't have the devil’s curly hair.

Marge: [to Lisa] Great. But the very best thing is that he listens to you. Because nothing means more than for a man to... [looks up in surprise].
Marge: How did the pig tracks get on the ceiling?
Homer: [singing Tune to Spider-Man Theme Song] Spider-Pig, Spider-Pig. / Does whatever a Spider-Pig does. / Can he swing / from a web? / No he can't / cause he's a pig. / Look out! / He is the Spider-Pig!

FANTASTIC FOUR: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER

Review by Fat Jack
My Rating: 4 stars out of 5
Rated PG

Rotten Tomatoes Critics: 39% Rotten
Rotten Tomatoes Users: 60% Fresh
Netflix: 4.3 stars out of 5
IMDb: No rating yet
Chicago Sun-Times: 2.5 stars our of 5

I was hesitant to see this after the vomit session that was the first FANTASTIC FOUR, but I heard decent things, some good things, and the trailer looked like fun. On a Father’s Day weekend when I get to choose the movie, I thought our little family would give it a chance. I had been reading comics all morning and was in the mood.

Popcorn movie – a great description of this movie. Where RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER differs from say, the last SPIDER-MAN movie is this: F4 does not take itself seriously. It is a comic book movie that knows it is a comic book movie. There are bits of silly humor, plot holes, and bits of preachy dialogue at the end. Whereas SPIDER-MAN seeks to be realized as a piece of movie art, F4 seeks to entertain and simply have fun. I know that going into and am more forgiving assuming the creators take themselves serious enough as to not stomp of their own film.

Besides, the bar was set so low in the first one, the creators would have to try hard to make SILVER SURFER worse.

So I was into it. It was fun and enjoyable. We three (me, wife and daughter) had a nice, light, fun Father’s Day at the movies.

Susan Storm: Guys, we have a problem. He’s here.
Reed Richards: Sue, get out of here!
Susan Storm: Why are you trying to destroy us?
Silver Surfer: I have no choice.
Susan Storm: There’s always a choice.
Silver Surfer: Not always.

30 Days of Night

Another comic story turns to Hollywood for interpretation. The famed comic, 30 Days of Night, came out several years ago. I was lucky enough to all three comics when they hit. Great horror comic. Sam Raimi (I suspect you've heard of him) will produce the flick. It stars Josh Hartnett and Melissa George and is due out 19 October 2007. Diamond has the goods:

For those unfamiliar with 30 Days of Night, the story is set in the remote village of Barrow, Alaska, which is just about completely dark for an entire month every winter. After most of townsfolk head south for the winter, a group of vampires arrive and the Barrow's Sherriff (Hartnett) must stop them.

Click here for info from IMDb.
Click here for the trailer.

Blooker!!! Neigh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My brother in law (Fat Jack) talked me into posting my thoughts about movies in this inconceivable blog. Yes, I love watching movies, but don't get to see them as often as I would like. I also have a tendency to watch shows that are not part of the mainstream. Well here goes nothing.

Just watched an oldie but goodie last night with the kids. We watched "Young Frankenstein" and I think the kids enjoyed it. If you haven't ever seen YF or it's just been a while, do yourself a favor and rent it. It stars Gene Wilder, the late Marty Feldman, Madeline Kahn, the late Peter Boyle (as the monster), Cloris Leachman (Frau Blucher) and a voluptuous Teri Garr. Since it is written by Mel Brooks, it's a parody of the original version of Frankenstein. This is definitely a movie chalk full of funny movie quotes. "What knockers!" "Sedagive!!!!!!!" "You take the blonde and I'll take the one in the turbin!" "Could be worse, could be raining!!" It is rated PG and only has a couple of bad words so the kids could see it. It does have some adult themes (bedroom talk) but probably no more than your typical prime time sitcom nowadays.

I especially like the scene where the monster visits the blind man (cameo by Gene Hackman). Too funny watching the monster roll his eyes after the blind man crushes his cup after his toast. "Hey, where ya goin', I was gonna make expresso."

Well, I promised the Fat Jack I would sign up to post on the blog and I did. I am an accountant, not a writer, but I will try to embellish a little bit in future posts. Here are some movies I have seen lately and how I rate them out of 4 stars:

The Waitress - 31/2 (Adrienne Shelly's swan song, murdered last Nov.)
The Host - 3 (Korean seamonster started by those evil american scientists)
Babel - 31/2 (Heart wrenching, 6 degrees story of people desperately needing to be heard)
Away from Her - 31/2 (Excellent acting by Julie Christie on grim subject of alzheimer's)
Notes on a Scandal - 21/2 (Probably like better than rating, deducted 1/2 point for creepiness and wife hated it, although when I was a teenager it was cool to have an older actress seduce a teenage boy)
Little Children - 31/2 (Creepiness factor outweighed by former Bad News Bears pitcher reviving acting career and playing a pedophile)
Shrek 3 - 2 (Just okay, material has about run out, must see with the kids, though)
The Last Kiss - 21/2 (Zach Braff making some stupid impulsive decisions and having to beg for forgiveness for half the movie)
Pan's Labrynth - 4 (Masterpiece adult fairy tale, must watch again soon, perfect at the theater, also helped with the grim story line that the theater's heater wasn't working properly and the temperature was about 50 degrees.)
The Fountain 11/2 (A little too out there for most people, including myself. May have been better if movie was a little shorter, just seemed to drag.....on)

Spider-Man 3- One Fan's perspective

Review by Larry Litle

I am a true blue Spider-Man fan. I have been reading Amazing Spider-Man since I was 5 years old. I love the Spidey Character and I love Peter Parker even more. Peter is a poor sap whose life has always been far worse than mine but he has always done what is the right thing, at least eventually.

I was very fearful when the first movie came out. I had seen Hollywood ruin great comic characters over and over again. I was hopeful that it would not suck but I had very low expectation. When I left the theatre after Spidey #1, I was very pleased. Yes, as a fan, I had trouble with some of the details like no "web-shooter" and the blurring of Mary Jane and Gwen Stacey but I loved the movie anyway. They always have to change something but it did not take away from the core of Spider-Man/ Peter Parker.

I did not have the looming fear with the second movie but I rather had high expectations and anticipation. I was well please with the second one but it also had some issues.

Spider-Man 3 brought back the fear and anxiety. I became anxious when it was announced that they were going to have 3 villains because I know how that worked for the tragic Batman and Robin (at least Spidey 3 did not have the cardboard cut out actor- George Clooney). Then I started reading reviews and critics of this film. It was being torn to shreds and made to sound like it would be Daredevil bad. As Spidey 3 is starting, I crossed my fingers and spoke out loud several times "Please don't suck."

So much for brief background information. Below is the real review. It does include spoilers so if you do not want to know, do not read until after you see this film. You have been warned.

What I liked:

I enjoyed Peter Parker. I loved that he is finally comfortable with his Spidey alter-ego. I liked how he started getting a little cocky about Spidey. Then his perfect world came crashing down and he had even more problems. Unlike my fellow reviewer, I even liked the crying. This is true the nature of Pete. I loved how his anger gets the better of him when dealing with information about Uncle Ben. I enjoyed the complexities of his relationship with Mary Jane. I savored the transformation to the dark Pete and then his redemption. Toby has become the complete Peter Parker.

Topher Grace was an amazing Eddie Brock. The story stuck very close to the comic with Eddie and how he becomes disgraced. His hatred for Peter which leads to the bonding with the symbiote was a wonderful tribute to the comics. The church scene of the bell ringing and Peter ripping of the symbiote was picture perfect. I thought the CGI of Venom was wonderful and brought to life this terrifying character.

The story to rap up the Harry Osborn arc was marvelous. The best friends turned arch-enemies story played very well on screen. I truly felt for Harry even when he was the Goblin. The transformation from enemies back to friends for a while then back to enemies and then back again was fabulous and true to the nature of the comics. The redemption of Harry and the Goblin was fulfilled in his death by his own glider (similar to his father’s death) while saving Pete and Mary Jane was the perfect ending even though I wanted him to live.

The Sandman was a complex bad guy with reasons for the crimes he was committing. This is true to his comic character. Sandman has been a villain by circumstance. For a while in the comics, he even turned to be a good guy. I like how they used his sick daughter to show the humanity of this villain. There were things about the Sandman that I did not like but I enjoyed his character over all.

Many people disliked Aunt May's role in this film. I felt that it demonstrated well the relationship between May and Pete. She is still a huge part of his conscience. Her reaction to Peter's news that the Sandman, who killed her beloved husband, was killed by Spiderman was perfect. She has always been the forced that helped Peter stay grounded in life. I thought it was brilliant to have her show up at his apartment because she is worried about him.

If you are going to introduce Gwen Stacey (see below) then it is wonderful to introduce Captain Stacey. Captain Stacey is one of my favorite old peripheral characters. I continued waited for them to kill him off by a piece of falling wall but I realized that they just introduced him. In the comics, Captain Stacey sacrifices himself to save a child from a piece of falling wall that Doc Ock knocks down while fighting Spider-Man.

The action sequences were sweet. I prized the action sequences with Spidey and the Sandman. The ending battle sequence with Sandman and Venom fighting Spidey and the (Good) Goblin was sensational. True to the comics, the Spidey sense can not detect Venom and that was shown nicely in this film. Venom killing the (good) Goblin with his own glider was a nice touch. I enjoyed the trapping of Venom and using sound against him to defeat him.

Update 5/9/2007 12:05:48 PM I also loved Bruce Campbell in this movie. He always has a minor role in these movie but this was clearly the best. He is a great "French Maître d" in this film. This was clearly the funniest parts of the movie. It was hysterical watching him bring the champagne and sending it back.

What I did not like:

I really liked the overall presentation of Sandman. I did not like how they made his fly in flying sand. Fat Jack's review of this is correct and right when simply stating that “sand does not fly”. I know it worked in the Mummy but the Mummy was controlling the wind with the sand. Sandman is not Storm of the X-Men and can not make sand fly.

Why is it in every final fight scene has to have Mary Jane's life in jeopardy? All three movies used her as bait. Why not lure Spidey out by having Sandman attack civilians. I do give props for them having a cool way to threaten her life with the web trap and the taxi.

There was not enough Venom. He is one of Spidey's worst enemies. The first several times Spidey faced him, Spidey also lost his life. He almost seemed like an after thought in this movie. I loved the build up to him but he did not do much. Also Venom would not have died by a Pumpkin bomb. If you were going to show the explosion, why not show him hanging off the edge of the building recovering. Venom needs to be the exclusive villain in Spidey 4, if they make one.

Talking about Sandman and Venom, I thought there were too many villains in this movie. I love all three villains but it would have been much better by leaving out either the Sandman or Venom. I believe you still could have had the redemption of Harry and had him die at the hands of either Venom or Sandman. What I would have loved to have seen was the story of the Black Suit and to have shown Venom at the end as a precursor of things to come like at the end of the Batman Begins. A show down with the Sandman at the end would have worked for that scenario.

I understand that the Spidey sense does not work when Venom is attacking and this was even joked about. What I do not understand is how both the Goblin and the Sandman can sneak up on Peter. Did the Spidey sense go on the fritz? It was almost non-existent in this movie.

Why does every movie have Spider-Man unmasked in multiple parts of the film? Until recently, Spider-Man's identity was one of the greatest secrets in the Marvel Universe. He would not stand on the top of a building with his mask off. He would not show up at Harry's with his mask off. He certainly would make his mask out of something that can take a blow or two so it does not rip in half like it has in every movie.

I did not like how they introduced Gwen Stacey. I hated how Peter used her to make Mary Jane jealous. The first movie blended these characters together and made it difficult to bring in the true nature of Gwen. Gwen was Peter’s first love that was pure and innocent. It is hard to bring that into a character that is being used by Pete.

Why would we mess with the killer of Uncle Ben? Yes this was a convenient way to make Peter become darker but it was wrong to mess with the story. It reminded me of Batman Forever trying to rehash the death of his parents. There is no good reason for it.

Final Thoughts: I really liked this movie. I know that some people are saying that it is too long. I felt it was about perfect in length. Others have stated that this was a chick flick/ crying movie in disguise. I also disagree. Peter and company are dealing with really issues in relationships and life. There may be no crying in baseball but there is in Spidey movies. I really liked but did not love this movie

My Grade: a Solid B

Other Grades:

Fat Jack's review: 2 out of 5

Netflix: 4.7 out of 5

IMDB: 7 out of 10

Rolling Stone: 3 out of 4

Rotten Tomatoes: 61% Fresh

E! Online: B

First Weekend Gross: 151.1 Million Dollars

Mini-Review: "Spider-Man 3"

Review by Fat Jack
My Rating: 2 stars out of 5
Rated PG-13

Rotten Tomatoes: 61% Fresh
Netflix: 4.7 stars out of 5
IMDb: 7.9 stars out of 10

Spider-man 3 was not as bad as the critics make it out to be. It was a fun action movie and it had some cool moments. Some of the criticism was warranted. Here’s what I noticed:

1. There was entirely too much crying by everybody.
2. Sand cannot fly.
3. It was a bit too long.
4. There were too many villains.
5. What was up with the Uncle Ben reinvention?

Everyone had their crying moment in this film and some, like Peter Parker, cried through the whole thing. That really doesn’t bother me unless it is overused and this was overused. There are other ways to show pain and emotion besides crying. The water works were really flowing in this.

I do not care what kind of particle accelerating, neuralizing-what-you-call-it you put it in, sand cannot fly. Merge sand and man, and sand still cannot fly. It just can’t Why on God’s green earth Raimi thought it necessary to have Sandman turn into a cloud of particles and fly around the city is beyond me. What good could come of that except … and here it goes … you just want to have it look cool.

And now we know why Spider-Man 3 is getting poor reviews. Director Sam Raimi made the big no-no of comic book movies, the great failing of the genre. He focused on looking cool rather than being great. Whether pressure from the studio, or internal pressure to make the next one great, Raimi slipped and fell. Not all the way to the bottom mind you. This is an Oscar winner compared to other comic flicks like [shudder] Daredevil or Electra. But the pressure to one-up himself too its toll. The script was long, too long, and the characters were jumbled. Script not there. No problem. Add another villain or two and you can distract the audience with cool special effects. Oh, except that really doesn’t work.

Just in case all of that doesn’t work, then you can reinvent a character and his past. That will get them. Yeah, that gets them fighting mad. In a move of pure movie making genius, Raimi decided to change who killed Uncle Ben and work that whole thing into the Sandman plot. It sucked. Sucked big time. Hot steaming cup of sucked. Suck big donkey … okay I need to stop right there. [Breath] There was absolutely no sense in that. That is a big failing of fantasy and sci-fi writing. If you write yourself into a corner, rather than reworking the script and creating good writing, we just use magic to save the day or just make you think something happened one way when it really didn’t. Daytime soap operas employ this tactic all the time. That should tell you something.

The more I think about it, the longer I ponder these strikes, the more I dislike the movie. The madder I get. There was no sense in making these mistakes and someone of Raimi’s talent should have known better. Do these people not use editors? What the Hell?

For a flick it was fine. Plenty of action to keep things going. I liked what they did with Harry. Venom was fine, but they should have stopped there and made a movie around that. Would have been plenty for a good writer.

And by the way, does anyone really go to a church and ask God to kill someone for them? Do people really do that? I mean those people who do not have serious mental illnesses. That was about poor writing again. Seems I’m seeing a trend here. By the way, I really wanted to love this movie.

Mary Jane Watson: What's happened to you?
Peter Parker: I don't know... But I have to stop it.

[I wish someone had stopped this script a long time ago.]

Review: GRINDHOUSE

Review by Fat Jack
My Rating: 5 stars out of 5
Karla Quotient: Avoid It

Now in Theaters
Rated R (very, very R)
Directed by: Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino

Rotten Tomatoes Critics: 82% fresh
Rotten Tomatoes Users: 90% fresh
Netflix: 4.4 stars out of 5
IMDb: 7.1 stars out of 10

This is a blood-soaked train ride that barrels down the River Styx at 200 miles per hour, and I loved every single second of it. The Rodriguez-Tarantino double feature pounds the ground from minute one with no less than flesh-eating zombies, powerhouse chicks who stomp skulls and save lives, guns, knives, blood and brains, and bad ass muscle cars. Movies do not get any better than that.

This is not for everyone. Don’t take your 10-year-old, no matter how cool or how mature. He’s not ready for it and even if he was, he shouldn’t be. This is not recommended for the likes of my sister, Karla, or grossfest thrill ride of incredible proportions. Be prepared for buckets of blood and ooze and smatterings of skull and laughs too.

Laughs you say? Yes, laughs. Maybe I shouldn’t laugh. Maybe I should be shocked and disgusted and disturbed. I did squirm a bit from time to time, and I enjoy that feeling as well. But I did laugh at parts where I think I was supposed to laugh. You may not. My friend, Brian, certainly will not. But I laughed during Tarantino’s PULP FICTION and KILL BILL. This brilliant director has this uncanny ability to bring humor to scenes that should not be funny and I tip my hat to that ability.

This is a double feature that starts with Rodriguez’s PLANET TERROR, which is a zombie flick. A good zombie flick as far as that goes – one of the best really. Then there are the fake trailers between the movies. Those are a hoot and they are directed by a host of different folks. You can get the skinny at IMDb. Afterwards, comes Tarantino’s flick, DEATH PROOF. Typical of Tarantino, this movie takes its time and develops the characters through brilliant dialogue. He doesn’t just rush into the action, but takes his time. I love that about Tarantino. In this case, we have a killer, a serial killer, whose weapon of choice is a death proof street rod.

One interesting tidbit is the actress, Zoe Bell, who plays herself in DEATH PROOF. The actor is a real-life stuntwoman who worked as the stuntwoman for Uma Thurman on the set of KILL BILL and the stuntwoman for XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS. In DEATH PROOF, she plays herself, a stuntwoman, who is a thrill seeker. She certainly gets her wish dealing with the psycho serial killer played by Kurt Russell. My wife loved this character. Tarantino and Rodriguez did a great job with creating strong, powerful female characters. That is nothing new for Tarantino who is a pro at portraying different types of great women. That is one thing I love about him. As a side note, the stunts in DEATH PROOF were done with real cars and real stunt people. I understand that Zoe Bell did her own stunts. After you see he movie, you will understand why that is so cool. CGI? I think not.

No doubt about it: Another hit for Tarantino. Rodriguez’s movie is good too, but it is nothing compared to DEATH PROOF. My only criticism is that DEATH PROOF wasn’t long enough. That is, there was so much more that could have been done to that movie. I wanted more: more of the characters, more of the story, more of the dialogue. More. But how much more could he have done with a movie that was nearly 3.5 hours long as it was?

STUNTMAN MIKE: Do I frighten you?
ARLENE: [nods]
STUNTMAN MIKE: Is it my scar?
ARLENE: It's your car

DR. DAKOTA BLOCK: If anyone comes to the door, I want you to shoot them.
DR. BLOCK’S SON: What if it’s Dad?
DR. DAKOTA BLOCK: Especially if it’s your Dad.

STUNTMAN MIKE: There are few things fetching as a bruised ego on a beautiful angel.

Scene Stealers

There is an interesting movie review site out there called Scene Stealers. Check them out and their unique rating system. I think you will find their reviews interesting.

Star Wars 30th Anniversary Quiz

Calling all fellow Star Wars geeks. If you have not taken the Wizard Universe Star Wars 30th Anniversary Quiz, then here is your chance. Here is what Wizard Universe has to say about the Quiz, "From the best 'Star Wars' movie ever made to the hottest woman in the galaxy, Wizard Universe wants to know your opinions on the Star Wars Universe ". Let the Force guide you in your selections and you will not go wrong.

I would like to thank my friend KittyKat Jill (AKA Token Girl) for pointing me to this quiz.

Mini-Review: "High School Musical

Review by Fat Jack
My Rating 4 stars out of 5
Now available on DVD
Rated G

Rotten Tomatoes: 60% fresh

Netflix: 3.8 stars out of 5
IMDb: 6.4 stars out of 10




Wondering why you want to see this teeny-bop Disney flick? Well you probably won’t unless you have a kid. If you have youngsters, then this is the GREASE for their generation and it’s sure to be remembered by them for years to come. Once you rent it, you will likely want to buy it, but be prepared for multiple viewings and lots of sing-alongs.

The DVD is especially nice as it has a karaoke feature where you can watch the DVD and when the musical portions come on, then the words play at the bottom of the screen: a perfect addition for the aspiring actor or actress in your household.

SHARPAY: “We need to save our show from people who don't know the difference between a Tony Award and Tony Hawk.”

Fat Jack's Summer Preview 07

GRINDHOUSE
In Theaters: April 6, 2007
Rated R
You Must See the Trailer!

Cult fan favorites – Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez – bring what promises to be a bloody good time with GRINDHOUSE. Back from the days of yore when the old movie palaces hosted gruesome and grinding double features of sex and blood, these two directors bring us their version of the non-stop action. Each director presents a 60-minute feature back-to-back with fake trailers in between. Tarantino, a personal favorite of mine, brings us DEATH PROOF and Rodriguez directs PLANET TERROR in one explosive show.

These are meant to be exploitation, B-movies with lots of sex, violence and gore. That should be enough to warn you. Faint at heart and easily offended should steer clear. Those who are cool; however, will want to be sure to catch GRINDHOUSE in the theatre. Don’t wait for it to come out on DVD. I suspect these will be good enough, or bad enough depending on your point of view, to be a part of your personal DVD collection.

DEATH PROOF is a slasher movie with a car as the weapon of choice. PLANET TERROR takes place on an alien planet that is a nice parallel to our own. As the tagline states: “Welcome to the Grindhouse – It’ll tear you in two.”

PATHFINDER

In Theaters: April 20, 2007
Rated R
See the Trailer

From the Apple trailer site: “An action-adventure set in the time when Vikings tried to conquer North America, PATHFINDER tells the heroic story of a young Norse boy left behind after his clan shipwrecks on the Eastern shores. Despite his lineage, the boy is raised by the very Indians his kinsmen set out to destroy. Now, as the Vikings return to stage another barbaric raid on his village, the 25-year-old Norse warrior (Karl Urban) wages a personal war to stop the Vikings’ trail of death and destruction. Forging his own path, his destiny is revealed and his identity re-claimed.

This reminds me of the very cool, but a bit ridiculous Schwarzenegger movie PREDATOR. Based on the trailer, I think you are going to have to suspend your disbelief a lot to enjoy this film. Not necessarily a bad thing, but don’t get bogged down by historical inaccuracies or plausibility. This action-adventure movie is for fun.

JINDABYNE
In Theaters: April 27, 2007
Rated R
See the Trailer

From the Apple Trailers site: “On an annual fishing trip, in isolated high country, Stewart, Carl, Rocco and Billy (“the Kid”) find a girl’s body in the river. It’s too late in the day for them to hike back to the road and report their tragic find. The next morning, instead of making the long trek back, they spend the day fishing. Their decision to stay on at the river is a little mysterious - almost as if the place itself is exerting some kind of magic over them.”

SPIDER-MAN 3

In Theaters: May 2007
Not Yet Rated
See the Trailer

From IMDb: Peter Parker has finally found the balance he's longed for between his love for Mary Jane Watson and his responsibilities as Spider-Man. The city of New York and it's citizens are at last coming around and appreciating everything he has done as his crime-fighting alter ego, and Peter is in the running for a staff job at the Daily Bugle. However, everything Peter has worked for is about to unravel. Flint Marko, while fleeing prison, is caught in an accident that displaces molecules and is transformed into the Sandman, a new super villain who is able to change his body into any shape of sand he sees fit. When Peter learns of a connection between The Sandman and the murder of his uncle, Ben, he will stop at nothing as Spider-Man to capture him; but before Peter can do so he discovers a mysterious black substance has made his suit black, and has brought forth a darker side of Parker and Spidey nobody has seen before. He starts to abandon the ones he loves and forces his best friend Harry Osborn to take up his late father's mantle as The New Goblin. Peter now has to decide which life he wants to lead... the strong-willed hero he once was or the new dark-minded villain that he is becoming. Little does Peter know the black substance has its sights set on somebody else as well, a rival Bugle photographer, and a troubled young man, by the name of Eddie Brock, turning Brock into Venom, a foe Spider-man may be unable to stop.

NANCY DREW In Theaters: May 15, 2007 Rated PG See the Trailer

If you’ve grown up in the last few decades then you’ve no doubt heard of the Nancy Drew books. Young Nancy goes to California with her Daddy and finds herself smack dab in the middle of an unsolved mystery. Go figure. A girl power movie, it would be a great way to get young girls into reading.

DAY WATCH
In Theaters: June 1, 2007
Not Yet Rated
See the Trailer

This is the second film of a Russian horror/fantasy trilogy that began with NIGHT WATCH, which was a hit in the former Soviet Union. Forces of light and darkness come to blows after centuries-long truce. If you like horrors and underground films, then this second installment should be right up your alley.

HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX
In Theaters: July 13, 2007
Not Yet Rated
See the Trailer

Everyone knows this film is coming out. What else is there to say? If you are a fan of the series, then you have already read it and know what’s going to happen. If you haven’t read the books but have watched the movies, you have probably picked up on the fact that Harry is growing older and his world is becoming ever-darker. That was a good move by J.K. Rowling and gives the character real life. This will be the darkest of the movies so far, so beware and have fun.

THE SIMPSONS MOVIE In Theaters: July 27, 2007 Not Yet Rated See the Trailer

The Simpsons finally made it to the big screen. Will this mark the end of the franchise or will it propel them to a new level? Only time will tell. As a Simpsons lover, I am hoping that it is great.

UNDERDOG

In Theaters: August 3, 2007
Not Yet Rated See the Trailer

From the Apple trailer site: “After an accident in the mysterious lab of maniacal scientist Dr. Simon Barsinister (PETER DINKLAGE), an ordinary beagle unexpectedly finds himself with unimaginable powers and the ability to speak. Armed with a fetching superhero costume, UNDERDOG (voiced by comedian JASON LEE) vows to protect the beleaguered citizens of Capitol City and, in particular, one beautiful spaniel named Polly Purebread (voiced by Academy Award nominee AMY ADAMS). When a sinister plot by Barsinister and his overgrown henchman Cad (PATRICK WARBURTON) threatens to destroy Capitol City only UNDERDOG can save the day.”

This is a live action film with cgi. I don’t know what to make of it, but the kids will probably dig it. It can surely lead to a good introduction of the old cartoon to a younger crowd.

Entertainment site- Flixster

I had a friend send me a link to a new entertainment site. It is called Flixster. It has information about upcoming movies, photos celebrities (No John there is not nudity), news, and a great trivia game. Check them out and let me know what you think.

Mini-Review: "300"

Review by Fat Jack
My Rating: 4.5 stars out of 5
Rated R

Rotten Tomatoes: 61% Fresh
Netflix: 4.4 stars out of 5
IMDb: 8.2 stars out of 10
Richard Roeper: 4 stars out of 4





What do I say about 300 that hasn’t already been stated? You know it is highly stylized and that it’s by comic book great Frank Miller. This is a man’s movie. It is about all things male: territory, protection, honor and bravado. It is bloody – bloody good, that is.

That isn’t to say that it doesn’t have its problems. It does. If you are a history junkie, then I hear tell that this is not very accurate. There were also a lot of persons with disabilities who were portrayed, as often happens with Hollywood films, as evil, corrupt, beastly, or treacherous. There were more, but most of it has already been talked about.

Spartan King Leonidas: We Spartans have descended from Hercules himself. Taught never to retreat, never to surrender. Taught that death in the battlefield is the greatest glory he could achieve in his life. Spartans – the finest soldiers the world has ever known.

300 As Republican Propaganda?

The movie wasn’t over and two people out of the group of five, were whispering about conspiracies of the republican propaganda machine. After the movie we continued to debate the issue: Was the movie, 300, a piece of right wing extremist propaganda?

I did not think so then and I defend that position now. Just like V for Vendetta, the story was written well before September 11, 2001. In this case, creator Frank Miller had his comic book published by Dark Horse in May 1998, which garnered him three Eisner Awards.

I do acknowledge that there are very interesting political parallels that can be drawn about the current war in Iraq and the imperialistic President Bush, but to say that this is right wing propaganda is to dismiss the value in the story. It is to miss the point.

Left wing or right, anti-war or pro-war, there are ideologies that are important to understand. The phrase from the movie “Freedom is not free,” may very well have been right out of the Karl Rove playbook. That does not make it conservative propaganda and it does not make it an invalid statement. Karl Rove may indeed be one of the most corrupt men on the planet, but people have died in order to preserve freedom. That may sound like a Martine recruitment mantra geared to take advantage of the uneducated, and it may be. It is also true.

300 was not about President Bush’s war in Iraq, nor was it a movie about joining the Marines. It was about soldiers who were born and bred to fight and defend their country. Boiled down, every man worth his salt loves his family and will do what he can to defend them against the evils of the world. This movie was about universal feeling of protection that every father and husband has. Protection is a genetic instinct, which explains why it grossed $70 million in the first weekend. Men can relate to the feelings that the Spartans held dear.

There are more lessons to be learned here than warmongering or corrupt senates. To see 300 as a mere mouthpiece of political propaganda inspired by the war machine is to miss the point entirely.

Mini-Review "Borat"

Review by Fat Jack
My Rating: 3.5 stars out of 5
Rated R

Rotten Tomatoes: 90% Fresh
Netflix: 4.4 stars out of 5
IMDb: 7.8 stars out of 10
Roger Ebert: 4 stars out of 4





Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan was quite the humorous fakeumentary. Sasha Baron Cohen certainly came up with an interesting character and script, raising the bar for comedies.

If you didn’t already know, it is an offensive piece, but like good comedies, it is humorously offensive to all types of protected groups. The script had a hard time keeping up during the whole of the movie, which is why I gave it a lower rating than it may have deserved. That is not to say that I didn’t laugh. I did. It’s just that toward the end, the writing gave way to the length requirement of a feature film. Still, I would recommend watching it, especially with a group of friends who all have a strong sense of humor.

OXANNA: “What? What? What did say about me, you skinny piece of shit? Why don't you go do something useful and dig your mother a grave, you tall piece of shit!”

BORAT: “We support your war of terror.”

BORAT: “Although Kazakhstan a glorious country, it have a problem, too: economic, social, and Jew.”

300 is Not to be Missed

You do not want to miss this film. Based on the epic graphic novel by Frank Miller, 300 is a ferocious retelling of the ancient Battle of Thermopylae in which King Leonidas (Gerard Butler) and 300 Spartans fought to the death against Xerxes and his massive Persian army. Facing insurmountable odds, their valor and sacrifice inspire all of Greece to unite. It opens on March 9. It should be a bloody good time, but don’t take the kiddies. This is not meant for them. I won’t have a chance to see it opening weekend and that next week I will be taking midterm exams. So I will plan on catching it over Spring break (march 16-25). Sounds like a great boys night out to me.

Mini-Review "The Protector"

Review by Fat Jack
My Rating 1 stars out of 5
Rated R

Rotten Tomatoes: 52% rotten

Netflix: 3.6 stars out of 5
IMDb: 6.9 stars out of 10





I am a big fan of martial arts movies, not so much for the plots but for the action and adventure. I love good martial arts, and Tony Jaa is able to deliver that without the use of wirefu. Even I didn’t care much for this. The plot was just so ridiculous and half-hearted that it ruined the rest of the film and that says a lot as most karate flicks are not that plot driven.

Even Tony Jaa’s gymkata was not good enough to make this an enjoyable movie. His last flick, Ong Bak: The Tai Warrior was an explosive and interesting bit of film. It was great and it really showed off his tai boxing prowess. Not so with The Protector. Don’t bother unless you are drunk. It might be okay then … maybe.

KHAM: You killed my father, and you stole my elephant!

Mini-Review: "Jesus Camp"

Review by Fat Jack

My Rating 4 stars out of 5
Rated PG-13

Rotten Tomatoes: 87% fresh
Netflix: 3.8 stars out of 5
IMDb: 7.4 stars out of 10





Jesus Camp is about the current Evangelical Christian movement. Specifically, the documentary shows how the movement teaches-indoctrinates-brainwashes children into the fold. I say “teach-indoctrinate-brainwash” because each word could be correct depending on your own point of view. The focus of the camp is on children, and the administration and parents push hard for their children to be saved, many of which are saved at very young ages (as young as 5 years old). The kids are told to be ready and willing to lay down their lives for Christ. They take the children out and encourage them to stop strangers on the street and try to convert them. Actually I should say they celebrate the fact that God speaks directly to the children and it is God that encourages the children to convert the strangers.

Jesus Camp promotes the speaking in tongues and hearing the word of God speaking to you about every issue, including how well you bowl at the bowling alley. Children frequently cry during the ministry because of their own sins. This happens over and over during the camp experience, which makes me wonder: How many sins is a 10-year-old committing while at a Christian Camp, that they would need so much forgiveness? It is an interesting film. Certainly, there is strong connections between religion and politics and the impact of the Evangelical Christian movement in this film.

BECKY FISCHER: “It's no wonder, with that kind of intense training and discipline, that those young people are ready to kill themselves for the cause of Islam. I wanna see young people who are as committed to the cause of Jesus Christ as the young people are to the cause of Islam. I wanna see them as radically laying down their lives for the Gospel as they are over in Pakistan and Israel and Palestine and all those different places, you know, because we have... excuse me, but we have the truth!”

BECKY FISCHER (Referring to President George Bush): “He has really brought some real credibility, um, to the Christian faith.”

Click here for the trailer.

FAT JACK Oscar Still Up For Grabs

Sophie shows off this year's FAT JACK Oscar.

We have a three way tie for the FAT JACK Oscar. Kathy, Stacy and Linda all have predicted 12 winners. So we go to an Oscar history question to find the winner of this year's Oscar. This year's winner was Kathy with 12 correct predictions! Larry Litle won the second prize for the worse predictions this year with only six correct predictions. Even the 6-year-old beat Larry; she predicted nine winners.

UPDATE: Upon further review, the FAT JACK Oscar Committee has decided that FAT JACK, his wife, daughter or affiliates thereof, are not eligible to receive the FAT JACK Oscar. Therefore, there is a two-way tie between friends Stacy and Linda. The FJ Oscar Committee will compile a quiz of Oscar history material that each candidate will fill out. She who answer the largest number of quiz questions correct will be the official winner of:

• The FJ Oscar
• Spaceballs on DVD (gently used)

The FJ Oscar Committee regrets any confusion or heartache this might have caused.

Sincerely,
Jack

79th Oscar Night Festivities

11:13 p.m.
BEST PICTURE
The Departed
Could have blown me over. I really didn't expect The Departed to win both Director and Best Picture.

11:07 p.m.
DIRECTOR
Martin Scorcese, The Departed
No big surprise here. Scorcese has never won an Academy Award and it is about time he won one. I don't really know that he actually won for The Departed. As the Academy often does, they give awards out to people for works that they should have won for. I am happy for Scorcese. He deserves an Oscar.

11:02 p.m.
ACTOR -- LEADING
Forest Whitaker

ACTRESS -- LEADING
Helen Mirren, The Queen
I'm really glad that Streep didn't get the award. The Devil Wears Prada was a fine enough movie for a Saturday afternoon rental, but it was not, in any way, Oscar Worthy. It was much ado about veyr little.

Phillip Seymour Hoffman has never seen a comb. I swear that guy couldn't brush his hair if his life depended on it.

FILM EDITING
The Departed

ORIGINAL SONG
"I need to wake up", by Melissa Ethridge
An Inconvenient Truth

They didn't use enough titty tape on poor Jennifer Hudson; a bit of her bra was showing, bless her heart. Someone is getting fired.

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Little Miss Sunshine

ORIGINAL SCORE
Babel

We've decided that as a group, with one dissenting vote, that we do not like Celion Dion, most of us for different reasons. I don't like her French bitchiness. Paul doesn't like her fakeness. Stacy decided that her chin is too pointy for her short forehead. And her breast, we all decided that her breasts were trully pittiful.

You may be wondering why I don't mention the special Oscars that are given out. I don't know, really. I just don't care about those too much so I don't mess with them.

DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
An Inconvenient Truth
Seinfeld's little diatribe on movie theatres was too funny and his crack about the depressingness of the films in this category was also humerous. Friend Larry, a self-proclaimed conservative, proclaimed that he was an evangelical Christian. That is a label that he usually decries, but tonight he lumped himself in that group. We both thought Jesus Camp would win. So the next time he complains about being lumped into the crazy evangelical Christian group, then you can remind him of his proclamation at 9:50 p.m.

DOCUMENTARY SHORT
The Blood of Yingzhou District

SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Jennifer Hudson
The American Idol contestant has made a career for herself. I really didn't think she would win an Oscar, but she proved me wrong. Good for her.

Holy Crap! That whole dance routine with Ellen and Snakes on a Plane was bad ass.

FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
The Lives of Others
Another huge upset. We all picked Pan's Labyrinth as a sure win in this category.

VISUAL EFFECTS
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

Naomi Watts and Robert Downey Jr. introduced Best Visual Effects. I didn't know Downey would be sober enough to do it.

Palabus (sp?) just did a dance routine where they acted out the Little Miss Sunshine bus and the girl running behind.

CINEMATOGRAPHY
Pan's Labyrinth

Now Ellen has changed into a white tuxedo, which also looks very nice. Her bit where she made Steven Spielberg take a snap shot of her with Clint Eastwood for her My Space page was hysterical. She is doing a great job.

BEST COSTUME DESIGN
Marie Antoinette
Another dress with a bow, this one on her chest. For the love of God. Bows do not make a dress better, unless the wearer is 8 years old.

8:51 p.m.
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
The Departed

ANIMATED FEATURE
Happy Feet
That was a real upset. We all voted for Cars. What is Hollywood's hard on with penguins? I just don't get it.

We just finished watching, during the commercials, the movie Grindhouse by Tarantino and Rodriguez. Now that is some kind of double feature.

The Academy Awards have gone green. You can go to oscar.com to find out more. Al Gore and Leonardo DiCaprio announced this.

The dance troupe Polabolous (sp?) rocks the house. That is a remarkable, sculptoural, artistic performance. Amazing. They came to Springfield once, according to friends, Monty and Stacy. I wish I hadn't missed that. If they come again, tne I am all over that.

Okay, at this point in the night, my wife and I have decided that we need to see some movies: Apocalypto, Little Children and the live action short, West Bank Story. I am heading to Netflix at the next commercial break.

SUPPORTING ACTOR
Alan Arkin, Little Miss Sunshine

BEST SOUND MIXING
Dreamgirls

BEST SOUND EDITING
Letters from Iwo Jima

The Sound Effects Choir was really cool, making all those sound effects to those movies with just their voices. Impressive.

8: 05 p.m.
Whoa! Jack Nicholson went cue ball. Good for him. FAT JACK loves that shaved look.

LIVE ACTION SHORT
West Bank Story

That Abagail Breslin from Little Miss Sunshine is one really cute kid.
ANIMATED SHORT
The Danish Poet

ACHIEVEMENT IN MAKEUP
Pan's Labyrinth

I don't know what Nicole Kidman was thinking wearing that head pillow on the shoulder of her dress. Crazy. What is wrong with people wearing big old bows on their butts and bodies?

ART DIRECTION
Pan's Labyrinth

7:40 p.m.
So far Ellen is a funny host.

7:30 p.m. -- The Oscars Begins
The beginning montage was very cool. What will Ellen wear, a dress or a tuxedo? It's a tux! It's a tux. Maroon velvet tux with white shoes. Good for her.

Paul is an idiot. Tonight we talked about the movie, 300, and Paul asked what it was. We are planning a guys night out to go and watch that.

The majority of us (60%) voted for The Departed for Best Director. Thirty percent voted for Letters from Iwo Jima and 10% voted for United 93. For my part, I think that the time has come for Martin Scorcese to win Best Director. Besides, Eastwood has one two in a row and I don't see him winning another one.

7:16 p.m.
Cameron Diaz needs to go back to being a blonde.

6:30 p.m.
Friends in attendance at our party:
Paul and Linda
Monty and Stacy and child
Larry and Michelle and child
Shad and Woodchuck Draft Cider

I will offer updates throughout the night, so keep checking back.

FAT JACK's Thoughts on the Nominees

I am in school. Balancing a graduate program and a family leaves little time for anything else including movies. So I have not seen most of the Oscar nominees this year, much to my chagrin. I am not even going to bother trying to predict the winners on this blog. However, I will share my thoughts on the movies that I have seen and the ones that I really want to see.

PAN’S LABYRINTH
I was lucky enough to catch this little gem at The Moxie a couple of weeks ago. It is captivating and disturbing, beautiful and treacherous too.

JESUS CAMP
My wife and I both really regret the fact that we didn’t get to see this and I forgot to add it to my Netflix queue before the Oscars. We love documentaries and this is right up our alley. We are Christians, my little family, yet we are not a part of the evangelical movement that is ripping through our country. We would probably fall into the category of liberal Christian. That is we believe in love as the driving force behind Christianity, as opposed to the emotional rape and pillaging of many so-called Christian groups and movements of the day.

So this interesting and provocative film really peaked our interest. It is important to understand how many Christians are being led astray – brainwashed – by the corruption of the church. We are anxious to see this one. If my mind serves me correctly, the church camp featured in this film shut down not long after this film came out. I don’t remember where I heard that, so don’t take it for truth.

OUR TWO FAVORITES THIS YEAR
Little Miss Sunshine and An Inconvenient Truth are two of our favorites that we saw this year. Little Miss Sunshine was a breath of fresh air amidst a sea of same old same old films that Hollywood puts out. An Inconvenient Truth was very interesting and opened our eyes. Up until this point neither of us had really followed all the global warming pandering that had been going on: It’s real; it’s not real. This documentary clears that up pretty well.

APOCALYPTO
This is a film, despite it’s nefarious director, that I want to see. I enjoy films of different cultures and I think the Mayans are very interesting. Their technological advances and warmongering make for an interesting history lesson. I love the fact that it is in original language. We are not ones to shy away from subtitles.

THE GREAT WAR
Both Flags of our Fathers and Letters from Iwo Jima appear to be films that shouldn’t be missed. I am a bit skeptical based on the ridiculously over-hyped praise of Clint Eastwood’s last winner, Million Dollar Baby. Anyone that knows much about disability could drive trucks through the holes in that films storyline, but Hollywood didn’t care about that.

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MAN’S CHEST
This was not as good as its predecessor, but it was fun in its own right. It’s a movie based on a Disney ride for goodness sakes. How seriously can it be taken? It made for a great Saturday afternoon movie rental.


I seriously doubt I will be able to watch many of the films this year. Many of them can’t be watched with a 6-year-old running around and by the time she goes to sleep it is either time to clean the house, study or sleep.

The Academy Awards is This Sunday Night

Sunday night is the Academy Awards, an event that our family never misses. My wife and I have been watching the Oscars for years and we have hosted an Academy Awards Party for the past several years. Nothing fancy mind you. We don’t get fancied up and we don’t come in costume either, although we have entertained both ideas seriously. We just have a small group of movie-loving friends over to watch the show.

This year snuck up on us as my wife and daughter were sick all last week and I just lost track of time. So today I am rushing around a bit to get things ready. I didn’t even get to send out real invitations this year; I just sent out emails. Oh well.

I hope to post some interesting tidbits about the event as the night unfolds right here on INCONCEIVABLE. So check back that night to see what’s happening.



I don’t know how you could not have already known, but just in case you didn’t, the host for this year’s event is Ellen DeGeneres. I suspect she will be very funny and a great host. She promises to give all kinds of inside, backstage gossip on her show the next day.

Click here to download a printable Oscar ballot.
Click here to see Oscars featured movie quotes of all time.

Show-Me International Film Festival

Butter my butt and call me a biscuit.

I'm a bit late coming out with the news. School sometimes gets in the way of blogging. This week is the second annual Show-Me International Film Festival, held here in Springfield. We are very lucky to have such an endeavor and I should have reported on it earlier.

Springfield's GO Magazine had a great article on the all the goings-on with the festival, including a comprehensive schedule of events. There will be films, forums, workshops and the opportunity to meet filmmakers.

My friend, MC at Entertain Me, is one of this year's judges. He has a blog post on the event as well. He's a much better film blogger than I.

Mini-Review: "Pan's Labyrinth

Review by Fat Jack
My Rating 5 stars out of 5

Rotten Tomatoes: 96% Fresh
Netflix: 4.4 stars out of 5
IMDb: 8.5 stars out of 10
Roger Ebert: 4 stars out of 4






Dan, the co-owner of The Moxie (Springfield’s only independent movie theatre) introduced the film as having mind-searing violence. He was right. This may be a fairytale, but it is an grown-up fairytale, leaving the reality of a happy ending up to the filmgoer. It is a cold and cruel world – an idea, which is aptly applied through the character of the Captain. He is concerned about little except producing progeny and dying honorably on the battlefield, and all his actions push him toward those goals. His utter disregard for anyone or anything is expertly dramatized by actor Sergio Lopez.

Young Ofelia travels with her pregnant mother to live with new father and husband, Captain Vidal. Ofelia wants no part of it. Once in the encampment, she realizes the world around her is full of death and pain. She soon discovers Pan’s Labyrinth. Pan being the name of the faun she encounters. He tells her a fairytale about a long lost princess of the underground world and suggests that she is the princess found. In order to discover this world, she must first complete three tasks.

The movie is not about the fairytale world, but rather about the journey toward this new land -- a metaphor for Heaven. Her path makes her interact with the Captain’s cruel hunt for the resistance soldiers hiding in the forest, where there is constant war and hatred. Inside the Captains camp there are members of the resistance wreaking havok.

The beauty of Pan’s Labyrinth is in the deep expression of director Guillermo del Toro, who has a tendency to create horror-dramas. It is a stunning work, full of beauty and darkness with an interesting story devoid of any typical Hollywood ending. It is a fairytale for adults, but one that is worth seeing.

CAPTAIN VIDAL: You could have obeyed me!
THE DOCTOR: But captain, to obey - just like that - for obedience's sake... without questioning... That's something only people like you do. [Captain Vidal shoots him].


CAPTAIN VIDAL: Tell my son the time his father died. Tell him I...
MERCEDES: No. He won't even know your name.

MERCEDES: You won't be the first pig I've gutted.

Mini-Review: The Devil Wears Prada

Review by FAT JACK
My Rating: 4 stars out of 5

Rotten Tomatoes: 77% Fresh
Roger Ebert: 2 stars out of 4
Netflix: 3.7 stars out of 5
IMDb: 6.7 stars out of 10

I expected this movie to get a higher rating than it did from the critics. For anyone who’s played the role of Satan’s cabana boy with their boss will be able to relate to this entertaining flick. Meryl Streep had a great time playing this role, and she certainly had Martha Stewart in mind the entire time. I understand the plot and sympathize. I’ve played the part myself and worked for the devil in order to get a better job. I did and then moved on to bigger and better things. I learned a lot about myself and the world around me, and for that I am eternally grateful. Our heroine learned a thing or two as well. The experience changed her, for a time, into someone she ultimately could not live with. I suppose my being able to relate to that increased my enjoyment of this movie. I found it worth watching.

Review: Lady in the Water

Review by FAT JACK
My Rating: 3 stars out of 5

Rotten Tomatoes: 24% Rotten
Roger Ebert: 1.5 stars out of 4
Netflix: 3.3 stars out of 5
IMDb: 6.2 stars out of 10

You can tell by the ratings above that this movie was not well received -- not at all. I don’t understand why. This wasn’t M. Night Shayamalan’s finest film, not by any stretch, but it was an interesting movie. Seems that most everyone holds his movies up to the “Sixth Sense” and I think that is ultimately the problem for the writer-director. Everyone loved his horror flick so much, that they are salivating for more and Shayamalan refuses to deliver a hack job on his previous work. I give him kudos for not falling prey to the idiots who just want another “Sixth Sense 2”. I thought Lady in the Water was an intriguing bedtime story. Not that they were not problems with it. There were.

First of all it was billed as a horror film in the trailers. Big mistake. It makes people expect something other than what it is. I knew that ahead of time, which helped me. I didn’t have any false hopes for the movie. I also think that Shayamalan’s performance was a bit wooden and restricted. I kept recognizing him and it took me out of the film, something you do not ever want to do, especially for this film. It was a stretch to suspend the disbelief at times. I maintained mine, but I can see how failing expectations could combine here to make for a bad movie going experience. There were scenes of comedy, which worked fine for the most part. There was one that stood out as going too far. The movie critic faces off with the scrat and he offers too much in the way of direct dialogue. It’s an attempt to interject some comedy, but it ruins the mood. Too much comedy is bad comedy and Shayamalan has yet to learn how to write good comedy.

Other than that, I enjoyed the quirkiness of the film and how it bordered on the surreal. I choose that word because in the real world, one might argue that people would not act the way the do in this film. They would not so readily believe or be sucked into the situation. Of course if you follow the fairy tale, you discover that is the beauty of the story. People who are meant to be play a part in the story, are inexplicably drawn to the apartment complex and to each other. That is the beginning of the theme of the movie.

My mother taught my Sunday School class when I was a teenager. The overriding message was this: God uses ordinary people to do extraordinary things.” That use of the ordinary to do something extraordinary is what this bedtime story is all about. It is a fairy tale after all and as all good fairy tales require, it is supposed to teach the audience something. If you keep in mind that it is a fairy tale, then you may just get the movie and enjoy it for what it is and what it is supposed to be.

By the way, this story is based on a bedtime story that Shayamalan made up and told his children. He turned the story into a children’s book by the same name. It was after the book publication that he developed the movie, which is significantly different than the book.