Review: "X-Men: The Last Stand"

Review by Fat Jack
My Rating: 3 stars out of 5

Now in Theatres
Rated PG-13
Directed by: Brett Ratner
Starring: Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, Ian McKellen, Famke Janssen, Anna Paquin, Kelsey Grammer, Rebeca Romijn, Patrick Stewart, and Ben Foster.

Rotten Tomatoes: Rotten
Netflix: 4.5 stars out of 5
IMDb: 7.9 stars out of 10
Roger Ebert: 3 stars out of 4


Everything you need to know about “X-Men: The Last Stand” can be summed up easily: Director Bryan Singer left the X-Men series to direct another comic book adaptation, “Superman Returns.” Things are just not the same, a failing more apparent with every review, including those from die hard comic fans, such as INCONCEIVABLE’s own Larry.

The story line had potential and lots of it. There is a strong connection to our modern day political climate. The X-men comic has been known to do that since the beginning. It raises questions about emotional issues facing America today. As Roger Ebert stated: "X-Men: The Last Stand" raises all of these questions in embryonic form, but doesn't engage them in much detail, because it is often distracted by the need to be an action movie. The great failing of many a movie is the reliance on action and cgi rather than the story and the characters.

But there are other problems afoot with this latest X-adventure, which my group of friends point out last night. I’ll detail some of our discussion for you. Storm is one of the most powerful members of the X-men, yet she has never really been given her due. This time, she emerges as the leader of the X-Men, yet it’s Logan who leads them. I like Wolverine as much as the next person -- he is one of the great comic book character of all time. But his little pep talk to the other five X-Men before confronting Magneto in the end was a disgusting attempt at uniting the audience with the characters. It was not Wolverine. I don’t know why they didn’t give that to Storm; it would have made more sense.

In order to obtain the mutant x-gene cure (a boy) Magneto chose to uproot the Golden Gate Bridge, in order to use it as his own crossing to Alcatraz, where the boy was being housed. One has to wonder if that was really necessary. It made for interesting movie making, but wouldn’t it have been so much easier to take a boat? I’m not really suggesting that the Brotherhood take a ferry to the island, but I am pointing out that action took precedence over creative writing.

My buddies also pointed out that in the comic Magneto ripped out Wolverine’s adamantium, turning him into a feral beast but also increasing his healing power to the point that he healed almost faster than the injury could take place. Now that is a Wolverine who might actually stand the chance of surviving the class 5 (as stated in the movie) mutant, Phoenix. It’s a comic detail, I know. But once again, I point out that it relies on story and character rather than just action. The central theme to this final installment was about finding the cure for the mutants. The man who discovered the source of the cure, surprise, surprise, is ashamed of his own mutant son. We are to assume many things about him and his son, Angel, because the plot only glossed over them. Seems to me a central theme should actually be developed.

That is not to say that the movie was not worth seeing, but it wasn’t worth the $22 I paid for my family to see it in theatres. Rent this movie and enjoy it as much as you can. Hell, go out and buy it on DVD just so you can have the entire collection, but don’t expect it to live up to the first two.

I know this is PG-13, but it’s also purposefully marketed to children under that age. But I’m not sure that “dick head” was necessary to the plot or the character who said it. Just a side note.

CHARLES XAVIER: “Since the dawn of existence, there have always been moments when the course of history shifted. Such a turning point is upon us now. The conflict between the better and worst angels of our very nature. Whose outcome will change our world so greatly...there will be no going back. I do not know if victory is possible. I only know that great sacrifice will be required. And because the fate of many will depend on a few, we must make the last stand.”

MAGNETO: “No one ever talks about extermination. They just do it. And you go on with your lives, ignoring the signs around you. And then one day, when the air is still and the night is fallen, they come for you. Only then do you realize that while you're talking about organizing and committees, the extermination has already begun. Make no mistake, my brothers, they will draw first blood. They will force their cure upon us. There is only one question you must answer: Who will you stand with?”